Category Archives: Old age

Retirement, seniority, death, funerals, remembrances

Go Tile the Sea!

Original: روح بلط البحر

Transliteration: Rooh Balit El Baher

Translation: Go tile the sea!

The informant is one of my Lebanese family members who was raised in Lebanon by parents who had lived there for the entirety of their lives and has knowledge of the type of language that is said on daily basis in the culture.

Context:

The informant describes the saying to be a “nasty-phrased comment that is usually said by the elder women of the family.” She states “that they are saying this to their husbands or men of the household that ask for unreasonable demands in the household that the wife is unable to provide.” and that this is a statement that is taken in an insult-like manner to those who might rarely hear it in public, however, she says that “it is typically said at home to close family in order to not allow people to take offence to the phrase”. The informant summarises the interaction when she states that “It is usually meant to tell the men of the household to ‘f**k off’ in a ladylike manner” as she asserts that they go tile the endless ocean floor which is ironic as it is impossible.

Analysis:

There is a comedic factor in the saying as it is a statement that allows the women of the household to mock or make fun of the men. This can possibly be taken from Lebanese culture as women are still known to take care of the children in the household today and must maintain the state of the household whilst the men are working externally. Therefore, this allows women to assert their voice in the household whilst remaining reputable and adding the comedy of impossibly demanding that the men go “tile the sea [floor]” just as they feel the pressure of the household and cannot take any more demands. The private part of the statement also allows the family to feel closer as it is a statement that can only be said to those related in order to not seem like a sinister individual and build their bonds as she asserts her dominance in the household. The endless sea floor might also indicate that the wife’s role as a mother and caretaker is as much work and complex as tiling the bottom of the ocean.

Mexican Adult Riddle

Informant: My informant is my Mexican dad who grew up in Puebla, Mexico.

Original Piece: Bajamos los calozens y chupame lo que tengo  que soy? Mango

Transliteration: We lower our pants, suck what I have. What am I? Mango

Translation: Lower by pants and suck what I have. What am I? Mango

Context: This is said to child at a gathering or to an adult. My dad said he first heard it when he was in Mexico, and when he was a small child. He heard it again when he was a young adult and understood that this was a riddle that was meant for grown people. Inside joke sort off

Analysis: This is definitely a riddle that was meant to be sexualized because the mind of an adult can go directly to the part of man. However, this is said to child because they don’t know what sex is. Therefore, pointing out how much a child can be innocent, and how much an adult’s mind is developed when they first experience what sex is. When someone first heard this, their mind goes to well a man’s private part or a womans. Again, this is all an inside joke between adults and adult humor

Wigilia – a Polish Christmas Eve (Polish-American Christmas)

Main Performance:

The informant, JK, and their full extended family (as many as can come, usually ~40) gather for a big feast and a host of different rituals for Christmas Eve. An extra place setting with food is traditionally set for “the unexpected guest” to celebrate hospitality and community, but this practice is not present at their Wigilia anymore. Instead, to avoid food waste, the family invites friends and boyfriends/girlfriends over to join for the big dinner and night of celebration, serving a similar symbolic purpose. At this feast, you are also not supposed to eat any meat and stick strictly to fish and vegetables.

Background:

The informant, JK, is my dad and also one of the figure heads behind putting together this gathering every year. He too has been attending Wigilia every year of his life and is part of a long line of family who keeps this gathering going. In our conversation, he noted other rituals that I was unfamiliar with that he grew up with for Wigilia. One of these practices being attending a midnight mass at the Catholic church.

Context:

Our conversation took place over the phone, where he recounted the history of the holiday and explained the different practices within the ritual time. As this post is the broad-stroke of the tradition, I will dive into the minutia in separate entries.

Thoughts:

The general practice of Wigilia is far more religious in explanation than I had ever known it to be, as it has become much more focussed on the simple act of gathering for food and a toasting ceremony. But the Catholic roots are very present in the metaphorical significance of community, sacrifice, and family. There is also a great emphasis on the passing over into the New Year, that despite not being directly correlated to New Year’s, the time spent at Wigilia is stressed as setting a precedent for the coming year (i.e. if the community fights during this time, it will be difficult times ahead).

Reference:

There is another piece on Polish Yuletide that is in the Folklore Archive that I have linked below:

http://folklore.usc.edu/polish-christmas-eve/

Slovenian Grandma Song

This is a song that was collected from H, a freshman whose family has Slovenian roots on his dad’s side. This song is one that they used to sing to their grandma as kids, as did their grandma to her grandmother before them.

Granny’s in the cellar

Lordy can’t you smell’er

Cooking pancakes on a dirty stoooove

Her eyes are full of matter

And it’s dripping in the batter

THERE’S A LONG THING HANGING FROM HER NOSE

From her noooose

to her tooooes

there’s a long thing hanging from her NOSE!

This is a goofy song that talks of a grandma cooking pancakes in a dingy cellar, presumably while she is sick with crusty eyes and snot dripping from her nose. Although it picks fun at a grandma, it also fosters a bond between them and effectively eradicates the barrier between an elderly person and a child. As Slovenia is a country with many stories of witchcraft, this song could also be referencing a witch cooking some food or brewing potions, though adapted to be more kid-friendly.

Personally, I find this song quite endearing, as did H’s family, since they continued singing the song after it was passed down to him from his grandma. Instead of painting witches in a negative light or viewing grandmas as old and crippled, this song familiarized them for the children and helped dispel the negative stigmas that usually surround witches by poking fun at their physical appearance.

The Foolish Old Man

Context:

Y is my other parental figure of mine who grew up in China and is currently living in California. 

This conversation took place over a weekly phone call with my parents after I asked them about stories that they knew from China. 

Text:

Y: The Foolish Old man removes the mountain – the story goes, this story became famous after Chairman Mao used it in his speech or writing. 

The story goes that in old times, there was an old man who was 90 years old. He lived near the mountains called the Tai Ha Sang and Wang Mu Sang, the two mountains. Basically, he was angry because the mountains blocked his view and he wanted to move them. He wanted to dig up the mountain. Because the mountains are kind of far away, even though they look near, when you go to them it’s pretty far. It takes about a year to, basically it takes time to go to the mountains and he can’t really dig up the mountain because he can only dig up some rock and dirt each time. So people laugh at him and say you’re so old with limited timee left, and you can only remove a little bit of dirt and rock at a time. How can you remove the mountain, its impossible. And he said, Oh, although I may not be able to accomplish in my lifetime, my kids can continue it and my kid’s kids, my grandkids, can work on it after. So if I have generations working on it, eventually we can succeed.

Me: mhm.

Y: yeah. So generations and generations continued to work on it, working on removing the moutanins. Eventually the gods heard about it and were impressed by his perseverance, so basically the gods seperated the mountains.

Me: Ohhh, they did it for him.

Y: Yeah so the gods separated the mountains. 

The moral is that if you are determined to do something, the perseverance will eventually help you succeed.

Reflection:

This story focuses again on the morals in Chinese culture to persevere, as well as to respect the wishes of your ancestors. It is also a direct example of advising to respect your elders because those who told the old man that he was too old were proved wrong as his legacy persisted past his lifetime. This long line of families all follow the wishes of the original protagonist before the gods reward them for their actions. I think it is also interesting that my informant remembered it because of a speech from Chairman Mao. Mao notoriously appealed to the lower class and therefore I think it is telling that he references this folktale in order to appeal to this audience. This fable also gave way to a figure of speech that references the hardship of the old man.

“The Foolish Old Man Moves a Mountain – Xu Beihong – Google Arts & Culture.” Google, Google, https://artsandculture.google.com/asset/the-foolish-old-man-moves-a-mountain-xu-beihong/VwF2EURLdtUNww?hl=en.