Never trust Alligators

Piece

Uhhm. So my grandpa used to tell me this story. I think the girl’s name was Sally. So she lived in the Bayou. Do you know what the Bayou is? The swamps and stuff. And has all these really scary critters. But like people live there like Cajun people live there.  But I’m not Cajun, I’m creole. But yeah Sally was Cajun. I assume she is Cajun. 

But so she— uh… She was like “Mom can I have a dog?” and her mother was like “We don’t have the money to feed you nonetheless a dog.” and anyway later Sally is finds a cat and she is like “Mom can I keep the cat.” and her mother is like “No we can’t afford it. Cause then I’d have to feed the cat.” and Sally finds a squirrel and asks her mother if she can keep it… and the mother is like “No cause we don’t have any fuckin’ money Sally” *laughs*. Sally wanders around to find pets to keep her company in the Bayou.

    She is sitting down by the swamp water and she is really lonely. Then she sees a set of eyes rise up in the water. And she’s like “Oh my god. What a cute little lizard. I’ll just sneak it in my house and it’ll just eat flies and stuff or like insects. I’ll just hide it in my room.” And so she gets the lizard thing and she realizes that it is a baby alligator. And she’s like “Okay, baby alligators just eat frogs and stuff so I’ll just raise it vegetarian.” 

    Anyway, her mom comes in the room one day and she’s like “Hey Sally, I have a surprise for you.” She got her a puppy. And Sally is like OH MYGOD! I have a puppy and a lizard. This is great.” *laughs*. Things are great until one day, her mom goes into her room and there’s no Sally and there’s no puppy. She goes into Sally’s bathroom and sees an alligator in the bathtub… Very full… and… and that’s why you don’t trust alligators. *laughs*

Background

    My girlfriend is from the south of America where there are a lot of swamps. She heard this story from her grandfather who she describes as a blind crazy old man. She told me that all the stories that he ever told her were about why you should never trust alligators. This is really funny to her and she was relating a story humorously that illustrated the humour of her grandfather’s alligator paranoia.

Context

My girlfriend and I were hanging out and joking around and she was telling me about her family at home. I thought this was a good time to collect some folklore. She is trying to convince me that her grandfather is crazy in this conversation through telling me one of his dozens of “anti alligator propaganda pieces”.

Thoughts

    Alligators are probably one of the most dangerous predators in the region that her grandfather was from. Although this story probably never happened it is insightful and revealing of the older people’s warnings to the younger generations in the area. Alligators are dangerous and they should never be adopted as pets.