Tag Archives: Armenian joke

Armenian Genie Joke

[Translated from Armenian] Three neighbors come across a genie lamp in the city. 

The genie pops out and says, “For finding me each of you gets a single wish of your heart’s desire. But, be forewarned that whatever you wish for, the other two guys get the same but 10 times better.

The first guy says, “I want a Mercedes Benz.” And the genie grants his wish. So, the first guy is driving around feeling good about himself when he pulls up to his driveway and sees Ferarris, Lamborginis, and Porches parked on their lots.

The second guy say, “Genie, I want a big house.” And the genie grants his wish. So the second guy is happy, running around his new house checking out all the rooms, until he looks out the window and sees his neighbors’ towering mansions. 

The third guy looks around and says, “Genie, you know what? Just give me (high pitched voice) a weeee little heart attack.”

Context: This joke was told at a birthday party over food and drinks. The performer and audience were quite drunk.

Thoughts: This is funny because the third guy already has everything he could have asked for and didn’t want to be outdone by, and become jealous of his neighbors by wishing for something else. Instead, the punchline is implies that a “weeee little heart attack” would be tolerable for him but 10 times that would deadly for his neighbors. Problem solved.

Armenian Nose Joke

Why do Armenian’s have big noses? 

Because the air is free!

Context: [informant] I first heard this from my cousin when I was a kid. I really though she was going to give a reason why our people have big noses but it was joke about them being cheap. I kind of took it personal even though she was Armenian too, but later I heard the same exact  joke about Jews and thought it was funny.

Thoughts: This is a prime example of multiplicity and variation. The stereotypes here are that Armenian and Jews both have big noses and tend to be money-centric cultures, so it makes sense the same joke can be applied to either culture. Having “big” noses implies they use it sniff up as much free air as possible.

Armenian Mother-In- Law Joke

Joke: There is a funeral for a woman. Someone at the funeral asks the son-in-law how his mother-in-law died. He says that she died from poisoning. The other person then asks why she had so many bruises. The son-in-law states that this is because she did not want to eat.

The point of the joke is that the son-in-law had forcefully poisoned his mother-in-law, alluding to a tumultuous and strained relationship between son and mother in law.

Background Information: Armenian Joke. Not necessarily exclusive to Armenian culture as it is a pretty common topic which shows the often rocky relationship people have with their in-laws.

Context: I was told this joke during a dinner in which we were sharing common jokes within our communities. This was the first joke that came to his mind. He was a little adamant when it came to telling the joke because of its morose content. I assured him that it didn’t matter to me. He told me that this joke was told to him by a few of his male friends at a house gathering.

Thoughts: I believe that this is a joke that looks at the sometimes difficult relationship with parents-in law. This idea has been explored through many cultures, including American culture with films such as Monster-In-Law and Meet The Fockers. It is often difficult to connect and have a good relationship with your in-laws. I think jokes, like this one, are used as a coping mechanism and as a way to make light of a difficult situation/relationship. I find it interesting that this joke was brought up at a house gathering in which a group of males felt comfortable telling this joke, but when it came to telling it to other people such as women, the informant felt uncomfortable. I think this shows that this topic is an uncomfortable one and is meant for very specific groups that will be able to understand and relate to the topic matter.

Vartan

Jesus Christ decides to check if humans recognize him… So He goes to Yerevan and asks Hagop, the first guy he meets:

JC: Do you know who I am?

H: You are Vartan’s grandfather.

JC: No.

H: May be Vartan’s father?

JC: No.

H: Then you must be one of Vartan’s relatives.

JC: No, but why Vartan?

H: Well, I am sure I have seen your portrait at Vartan’s house.

Background information: This is an Armenian joke. Hagop and Vartan are recurring characters in Armenian jokes.

Context: The informant told me this joke in a conversation about folklore.

Thoughts: This may be my favorite out of the Armenian jokes I’ve collected. The fact that Jesus Christ comes to Earth to see how things are going, and the first person he asks doesn’t recognize him, is pretty funny. Hagop sees a picture of Jesus Christ at Vartan’s house, and automatically assumes he must be Vartan’s family member, because why else would he have a picture of a man hanging in his house?

Garabed and Vartan

G: I have heard they have increased the price of vodka.

V: Nah, that’s imposible.

G: My friend Garabed, why do you think so?

V: It’s priceless…

Background information: This is a popular Armenian joke. Garabed and Vartan are recurring characters in Armenian jokes.

Context: The informant told me this joke in a conversation about folklore.

Thoughts: Vartan greatly values vodka, so much so that he can’t put a price on it; it’s too good to be priced accordingly, which is why it’s impossible for the cost to increase. It’s a funny and witty joke.