Tag Archives: wedding traditions

Blocking the Groom

Informant AM is a graduate student from San Jose California, whose family is originally from Ethiopia. There is a strong Ethiopian diasporic community in San Jose, where much of its traditions live on.

Text:

“The morning before the reception, the groom and his family members accompany him to go pick up the bride. But, at the door, the bride’s family is blocking them. They’re role playing — that’s what it seems like. I’m like, ‘Didn’t y’all agree to this?’ I don’t know why it became a tradition. Every single Ethiopian wedding I’ve been to has done it.”

Context:

Informant AM witnessed this tradition in primarily Ethiopian Orthodox Christian weddings. Ethiopia is a country with 36 million Orthodox Christians as of 2017, according to the Pew Research Center (Diamant). The Orthodox Christian religion places an emphasis on sexual purity in women, with the most apparent example being the veneration of the Virgin Mary, the virgin mother of Jesus Christ.

Analysis:

In “Wedding Ceremonies in European Folklore,” Hungarian folklorist Géza Róheim gives several examples of similar wedding traditions where the families of the bride and groom role-play a situation with a barrier, such as a Slovak wedding tradition where the groom’s family attempts to stela the bride’s bed. Róheim proposes that this cluster of traditions, collectively termed, “The Barrier,” are a means of giving meaning to the liminal nature of a wedding, especially in the case of the woman transitioning into sexual maturity. The custom of blocking the groom similarly reflects the importance of sexual maturity, especially to Orthodox Christians.

Works Cited:

Róheim, Géza. “Wedding Ceremonies in European Folklore.” International Folkloristics Classic Contributions by the Founders of Folklore, Rowman & Littlefield, 1999, pp. 197–230.

Diamant, Jeff. “Ethiopia Is an Outlier in the Orthodox Christian World.” Pew Research Center, Pew Research Center, 17 Aug. 2020, https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2017/11/28/ethiopia-is-an-outlier-in-the-orthodox-christian-world/#:~:text=Ethiopia%20is%20an%20outlier%20in%20the%20Orthodox%20Christian%20world&text=The%20country%20in%20the%20Horn,largest%20Orthodox%20population%20after%20Russia. 

Ethiopian Wedding Gifting Traditions

Informant AM is a graduate student from San Jose California, whose family is originally from Ethiopia. There is a strong Ethiopian diasporic community in San Jose, where much of its traditions live on.

Text:

“My grandpa actually told me this, I didn’t know this was a thing. So, friends and family of the bride and groom, they give gifts to the parents, and usually the gift is money. I have no idea why. My grandpa told his friends, like ‘I have 11 children, you don’t have to give me gifts after each child.'”

Context:

Informant AM witnessed this tradition in primarily Ethiopian Orthodox Christian weddings. Ethiopia is a country with 36 million Orthodox Christians as of 2017, according to the Pew Research Center (Diamant). Ethiopian Orthodox culture is patriarchal, taking cues from religious hierarchy barring women from positions in the clergy among other examples set by the Bible and Orthodox customs. Similar, Ethiopian Orthodox culture places a heavy emphasis on the knowledge of elders and the importance of family.

Analysis:

Ethiopian wedding gifting traditions reflect the importance of family. For example, informant AM mentioned that it is customary to presents gifts to the couple’s parents, as well as to the couple itself. The practice resembles other traditions practiced in Ethiopia and other countries which emphasize family influence, such as the custom of gaining parental approval before marriage. One such tradition in Ethiopia is known as ሽማግሌ, or shimagelay, which translates to “elder.” In this custom, the groom sends his parents to deliberate with the parents of the bride before a marriage proposal can officially be made. This discussion mainly consists of the groom’s parents convincing the bride’s parents that the groom can adequately take care of the bride, reflecting both patriarchal values and the value of elders’ opinions in Ethiopian culture (Habeshabrides). Yet, informant AM also mentioned that her grandpa advised his friends not to give him gifts, indicating that Ethiopians are willing to be flexible about practicing this tradition for the sake of practicality.

Works Cited:

“Brides of the Blue Nile.” Habeshabrides, https://habeshabrides.com/culture/brides-of-the-blue-nile/. 

Assistants to the Bride

Informant AM is a graduate student from San Jose California, whose family is originally from Ethiopia. There is a strong Ethiopian diasporic community in San Jose, where much of its traditions live on.

Text: 

“It’s not necessarily the younger cousins, it’s the ones that they think are next to get married. For example, my cousin got married, she’s 8 years older than me, but they assume I’m the next cousin to get married so I have to be her right hand woman — well it was me and my cousin because we’re around the same age. We call it ‘Protocol,’ but it’s like an assistant to the bride.”

Context:

Informant AM witnessed this tradition in primarily Ethiopian Orthodox Christian weddings. Ethiopia is a country with 36 million Orthodox Christians as of 2017, according to the Pew Research Center (Diamant). Ethiopian Orthodox culture, like many others, places heavy emphasis on the marriage. In Orthodox Christinaity, the marriage reflects the original bond of Adam and Eve and subsequent bonds between husband and wife, such as that between the biblical figures Abraham and Sarah. In fact, Ethiopians will often give a new couple a blessing which translates roughly to “May your marriage be like Abraham and Sarah’s.”

Analysis:

This tradition resembles other wedding traditions that intensify the importance of marriage in a community, such as the tradition where the bride throws a bouquet of flowers behind her, and the person who catches the bouquet is likely the person to be married next. Both traditions serve to intensify and perpetuate the importance of marriage in a community by encouraging the next person in line to consider marriage, and reflects the importance of marriage in the American and Ethiopian communities which practice this tradition. This tradition also reflects the syncretism which takes place when traditional Ethiopian weddings mix with their American settings. Informant AM mentioned that the assistants are labeled ‘protocol,’ but the word “protocol” is meant to be used in a sentence spoken in Amharic, a language in Ethiopia. Effectively, this English word has been adopted into the Amharic language as a result of its prolonged exposure. From my own observation, another word that fits this description is the word “program,” which Amharic speakers in the United States and Ethiopia slip effortlessly into their otherwise Amharic sentences.

Wedding Tradition – “Jumping the broom”

Text:

“A wedding tradition…specifically African Americans jump the broom at their weddings which is basically at the end of the sermon they jump over the broom…it’s literally a broom.”

Context:

One of my friends is African American and she was explaining this wedding tradition that many black communities partake in. She said it was a way of “giving thanks” as well as “honoring their ancestors.” She talked about how in the past slaves weren’t allowed to get married so this was an “act of defiance against the slave masters to jump the broom…to say we’re married after a pastor or sermon.” This tradition has continued to this day, even though they can legally get married, to show “thanks to the ancestors…that we see them.” She went on to say that it is an important aspect of her culture to honor their ancestors. She also said that many people in the outskirts of her family still practice this tradition as they believe it is “important to honor history and the ancestors…what they have gone through as a reminder that they are the reason we are here today.” 

Analysis:

It was interesting to hear of this tradition as it was quite new to me. The concept has a lot of history behind it and it’s mainly a tradition within the black community. That most likely contributes to the significance of the tradition as it connects people within that community. After doing a little research the origin of the tradition is still argued over today. Some believe it was started in West Africa to ward off evil spirits while some believe it originated in Wales. It is also believed that jumping the broom was a way for slaves back in the day to get married as they could not legally wed back then. Today the tradition has taken a slightly different meaning. Now the tradition is incorporated to recognize and pay homage to the legacy left behind by people’s ancestors in the black community. This shows how certain traditions can change their meaning depending on the period.

MANGALYA DHARAM

TEXT

Mangalya Dharam, also known as the Tying of the Sacred Thread, is a significant ritual during a South Indian wedding. It is a symbol of the groom’s acceptance of the bride as his partner for life and his commitment to take care of her.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual is performed in the presence of family members, friends, and religious priests, who bless the couple for long and prosperous married life.

CONTEXT

Informant: AS is a 60-year-old man born in India and living in London, UK for the last 25 years.  He is my uncle. He is an Orthopedic Surgeon practicing in London. 

Interviewer:  Who and What is involved in this ritual?

AS: The groom’s family takes great care in selecting the sacred thread for the bride, which is usually passed down from generation to generation.  The thread is considered a family heirloom and is an important symbol of family pride and tradition.  The groom’s sisters and female relatives also participate in the ritual by placing kumkum or vermillion powder on the bride’s forehead, blessing her with a long and happy married life.  This ritual signifies the bride’s welcome into the family and the groom’s commitment to take care of her.  The ritual involves the tying of a sacred thread around the bride’s neck by the groom.    

Interviewer: What is the sacred thread made of?

AS: The thread is usually made of yellow thread and is adorned with sacred beads and symbols.

Interviewer:  How is the sacred thread tied?

AS: The groom ties the thread three knots around the bride’s neck, symbolizing the three-fold responsibilities of a husband towards his wife, which are Dharma, Artha, and Kama.

Interviewer: What are the husband’s responsibilities referred to by Dharma, Artha and Kama?

AS: Dharma is to support my wife and ensure her spiritual and emotional well-being. Artha is to provide financial and material support to my wife and family. Kama is to fulfill my wife’s physical and emotional needs and desires.

Interviewer: How do you know all these?

AS: I performed this ritual during my wedding.  Also, over the years, within our friends and family circle, I have attended more than 50 such rituals and learned this from elders, parents, and priests. 

ANALYSIS

The Mangalya Dharam ritual has deep cultural and spiritual significance in South Indian weddings. It is believed that the sacred thread is a symbol of the bride’s chastity and purity, and it protects her from evil spirits and negative energies.  The Mangalya Dharam ritual also reflects the changing role of women in South Indian society. While the ritual has traditionally symbolized the bride’s acceptance of her role as a wife and homemaker, it now also represents her right to equal status and respect in the family and society.  Many couples today choose to modify the traditional Mangalya Dharam ritual to include vows of mutual respect, understanding, and partnership between the bride and groom.  The significance of the Mangalya Dharam ritual goes beyond the wedding day. It is a reminder to the couple of their commitment to each other and their responsibilities towards their family and society. The thread is worn by the bride as a symbol of her marital status and is a reminder of the groom’s love and commitment towards her.