“Bros before Hoes”


When a man feels that he has been slighted by a woman, he’ll turn to his male friends for support, and often express remorse for having prioritized his paramour over the camaraderie of his “bros.”


In any breakup or conflict, there is a desire for both parties to believe themselves to be in the right, and to be surrounded by others who are willing to help them believe in their own lack of responsibility. One of the principle ways in which individuals will avoid blame is that of vilifying the person with whom they have had a conflict. When there are very few legitimate complaints to be made about the object of one’s heartbreak, as is often the case when the principle responsibility of the conflict lies in the individual seeking most to avoid blame, the individual is likely to resort to ridiculous overgeneralization and categorically unsound platitudes (“bitches be crazy”). Because they’ve surrounded themselves with friends who will, for the time being, support their friend by confirming their status as a victim, the jilted lover will align their pain along self-indulgent, sexist lines, by drawing the conclusion that women are antagonistic towards the feelings and needs of men, and that the only dependable source of support is that of other males. Like I said, it’s a coping mechanism. While it extends beyond the heterosexual circumstances described above, the overwhelming consensus in our culture would suggest that this way of dealing with guilt is generally most prevalent in this context.


Ok, so here’s like an example, right?

Bro: “Hey Mark, I’m sorry Kathy dumped you.”

Mark: “Yeah man, I can’t believe that bitch.”

Bro (thinking about what Mark wants to hear): “Yeah, Mark…that bitch.”

Mark: “All I did was cheat on her and lie to her and take her for granted, and then she got all hysterical about it. I think she might have been PMSing. Whatever. Who needs bitches when you’ve got buds, right?”

Bro (texting Kathy, “I heard you’re single ;)): “Yeah, Mark. Kathy’s…Kathy’s the worst.”

Mark: “I’m so lucky I got a friend like you to help me out when bitches be trippin’. Bros before hoes.”

Bro: “Yeah, man…Bros before hoes.”

My Thoughts:

I’ve never thought about this saying as folklore before, but it totally fits. I’m sure there must be other sayings in the world that express the same basic sentiment. I think it’s interesting to talk about it that way, in an academic discourse, because it’s really casual and whatnot if you know what I mean.