Once upon a time there were a woman who baked five pies. And when they come out of the oven, they was that overbaked the crust were too hard to eat. So she says to her daughter:

“Put them pies on the shelf, and leave ’em there a little, and they’ll get come again and get soft”.

But the daughter, said to herself: “Well, if they’ll come again, I’ll eat ’em now.” And she set to work and ate them all.

Come supper-time, the woman she said: “Get one of them pies. They’ve come again now.”

The daughter she went and she looked, and there warn’t nothing’ but the dishes of the pie she had ate. So back she come and says she: “No, they haven’t come again.”

“Not none of ’em?” says the woman.

“Not none of ’em,” says daughter.

“Well, come again, or not come again,” says the woman, “I’ll ha’ one for supper.”

“But you can’t, if they ain’t come,” says the gal.

“But I can,” says she. “Go back, and bring the best of what we got.”

“Best or worst,” says the gal, “I’ve ate ’em all, and you can’t ha’ one till that’s come agin.”

Well, the woman she were wholly bate, and she took her spinning’ to the door to spin, and as she span she sang: “My daughter ate five pies to-day. My daughter ate five pies to-day.”

The mayor of the village was coming down the street and he hard her sing, but what she sang he couldn’t hear, so he stopped and said:

“What were you singing ma’am?”

The woman she were ashamed to let him hare what her daughter had been doing’, so she sang: “My darter ha’ spun five, five skeins to-day. My darter ha’ spun five, five skeins to-day.” The lesson taught by this story is essentially not to set up others you care about at the expense of a joke and the importance of putting more significant things like familial bonds over proving a point regarding someone’s wrongdoings.