Tag Archives: bat mitzvah

Bar/Bat Mitzvah Chair Lifting

Main Piece: 

What is your experience with this tradition?

“At the party, we were doing the hora. They bring in a chair, without arms even though I asked for arms. Four men lifted the chair up. One person was pushing harder than the others. Being pushed up in the chair with no arm rests. I asked to be put down. It happens during Hava Negila”

Why do you think this is a thing?

“Probably to single out the person and make it known that it’s their day and that this whole ceremony is about them. Maybe it’s spiritual and you’re getting closer to god? It’s kind of stupid”

Background/Context:

My informant is my roommate. She was raised in Conservative Judaism and had her Bat Mitzvah when she turned 13. A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is the Jewish coming of age ceremony that happens when a child turns 12 or 13. Hava Negila is the song that Jewish people traditionally dance the Hora to. The Hora is a traditional dance that involves dancing in concentric circles. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah teen is lifting in the center of the Hora circles. This story was collected when we were talking about Judaism during dinner.

Analysis:

This tradition is practiced by Jews of all observance levels and ethnic backgrounds at Bar and Bat Mitzvahs, and the majority of Jews have no idea why we do it. We weren’t commanded to lift people in chairs through religious texts or by our religious leaders, it’s just a tradition that Jews practice. Some people think that the “lifting” component has religious connotations, but most Jews agree that it’s just for fun and to highlight the Bar/Bat Mitzvah teen on their special day. The experience of having a chair with no arms and being asked to be put down is a common one, and I myself didn’t have a great time being lifted at my own Bat Mitzvah. 

Throwing Candy After the Torah Portion in Bat/Bar Mitzvahs

Main Content:

M: Me, I: Informant

I: Oh I just remembered another one. The traditions I was most excited for when I got bat mitzvahed is like after you finish your Torah portion I think or half Torah portion, um everyone in the synagogue has a piece of candy and they throw it at ya.

M+I: *laughs a little*

I: They throw the candy at you.

M: Uh-huh (agreement)

I: Uh and that’s just you know as like a congratulatory thing, like ‘Get it,’ you know. Like , it’s like, the congregation saying ‘sweet! You did it.’

M: Welcome to adulthood *laughs*

I: yes, yes, that one’s really fun, because I like candy and I think its fun to have things thrown at me, you know.

Context: This practice occurs while doing or watching a bar/bat mitzvah which is the coming of age ceremony done typically by Jewish children when they are 13. The candy throwing occurs after the Torah or half Torah portion of the ceremony. My informant had this at her bat mitzvah ceremony and has participated in the throwing of candy at others.

Analysis: The bar/bat mitzvah represents the transition from childhood and adulthood. Thus, while in the midst of the ceremony, the ‘child’ is in this liminal place where he/she isn’t quite a child, but isn’t quite an adult yet. They are in the process of taking on a new identity. Pranks/joke/riddles and various other traditions are common in other liminal states. In a way, getting candy thrown at you by your entire temple is a prank/joke to test you and help ease you into your new identity, adulthood.

Kissing the Tanakh if it Falls and the Torah

Main Content:

M: Me, I: Informant

I: Oh so um I don’t know if this is like a codified thing, but you can’t like… so you have like the Tanakh, which is like the mini like it’s like your prayer Bible um and like so if you if you, if the Tanakh touches the floor you have to like kiss it. You are like, it’s like not supposed to touch the floor.

M: Oh, okay

I: Um, yeah. And I think that comes form like so you are not supposed to touch the Torah and that’s not supposed to fall on the floor either, but that’s because it’s like made out of parchment that’s been used for hundreds of years and it’s like you know, brittle and fragile and stuff.

M: Uh-hm (yes)

I: Uh I think that sort uh like thought process has gone into like like, the mini Bibles. Like can’t hurt. It’s also like disrespecting G-d and stuff because it’s on the floor and whatever.

M: yeah

I: um so yeah there’s that

M: Is that like bad luck if let it touch the ground

I: Ehhhhh, it’s just like you know, like a bad thing

M: like a no-no

I: Yeah it’s a no-no cause like

M: It’s disrespectful

I: Yeah disrespectful. Cause like there’s also like, you know, at the bar and bat mitzvahs like they carry the Torah around and people like they touch their Bibles to it and they kiss their Bibles. Like you are supposed to kiss the Torah

M: Uh-huh (yes)

I: So like that’s why you are supposed to kiss it, as a sign of respect

M: Gotcha

I: Yeah

M: And that’s if you drop it, like if it touches the floor

I: Yeah, and when the Torah comes around you kiss it

M: Yeah

I: I guess that’s another thing. I think that’s another folklore thing.

…

I: I don’t think it’s codified as it walks around in the bat mitzvah ceremony or any of the ceremonies really.

M: yeah

I: It’s not just for bar and bat mitzvahs. Really we do it for like everything 

M: Oh, I did not know that

I: Yeah like a sign of respect and you want to be kissing G-d. You know. Love G-d.

Context: My informant learned to do this as a child watching those around her in the synagogue do it.

Analysis/Thoughts: I can see how these practices, kissing the Tanakh if you drop it on the floor and ‘kissing’ the Torah, flourished. While both of these practices are not codified in the Jewish religion, these are both fairly common practices in the synagogue. I think that these practices are easily considered customary as it supports ideals of Judaism that were already in place: such as respect to G-d, as dropping something on the floor can sometimes indicate a lack of caring and a lack of respect, the kiss corrects any possibility of this as it essentially says, “whoops! I do love and respect G-d.” Also I think there is something to be said about this practice and identity. Kissing the Torah when it comes around and kissing the Tanakh when it is dropped, are now considered what ‘good’ Jewish people do. Nobody is going to want to be the only one not kissing the Torah/ their Tanakh and having others thinking they don’t respect and love G-d. Thus, I think that part of what is keeping this custom alive is a fear of what society would think if you didn’t do it. Now it is so ingrained in the congregations that it is common practice and is done in most temples, as now people grow up doing and watching this from their role models-and it’s normalized. I’ve also marked this as contagious magic in the sense that through kissing the Torah/ the Tanakh which are said to have come from G-d’s ordinances. You are kissing and respecting G-d through his texts and this falls in place with the definition of contagious magic that says that ‘one can carry out an action by something that was once connected to the designated target of the magical act,’ in this case G-d’s words and teachings.

Afikoman

Main Piece:

So a Jewish Tradition on Passover that we do is my dad will hide the Afikoman somewhere in our house. The afikoman is a few pieces of matzah bread wrapped in usually a cloth napkin. And after the seder dinner, my siblings and I would run around the house and try to be the first person to find it. It was and still is extremely competitive, and the first person who finds it gets some cash. But the cash was not even the important part it is definitely just a pride thing. But I believe the meaning behind it is kind of convoluted. I think the tradition was mostly created to keep kids engaged at Passover dinner, because it can be really long and boring depending on which one you go to. Like I don’t think most people our age still do this but it’s always been a big deal in our household and we have yet to grow out of it. But on the deeper level, it’s supposed to represent the Jews’ liberation from Egypt, and like despite the fact that we found freedom from that, we are still always searching for a deeper, hidden freedom yet to be discovered? Like I said, convoluted.

Background:

My informant is of Ashkenazi descent, and is a participant of Judaism. She grew up under Jewish parents and a household that practiced Jewish traditions from a young age- though not enforced, she definitely had exposure to the culture ever since she could remember. She currently lives in South Carolina, where Jewish American heritage has long history compared to other Southern regions of the United States. She also comes from a family of four children, her being the third eldest, and they’ve all been practicing Jewish traditions together. This sense of family, tradition, and rivalry amongst siblings definitely had a factor as to why her family kept this tradition of Afikoman alive, even though my informant is currently 19 years old, which is older than what most Jewish people would consider appropriate to practice this tradition.

Context:

My informant and I watched a 2019 film titled “Uncut Gems” together, a film starring famous Jewish American actor Adam Sandler. In the film, there is a scene involving this very tradition of Afikoman. Enticed by this foreign concept, I had asked my informant to explain what that tradition was. The conversation took place in the Uber ride on our way back from the theater, in a comfortable environment where the only outsider listening to us was the driver.

Thoughts:

Personally, I am a big fan of any traditions involving a ‘treasure hunt’ element. It adds so much engagement from participants, and it’s such a great tool to gather a large group of people. The tradition of Afikoman hunt has been a valuable one for my informant’s family, as it has been a source of entertainment and comradely amongst her siblings, and hearing about it was a great delight. With cash as the prize, I find no reason why her family should stop practicing this tradition.