Tag Archives: generational

The Legend of the Sex Couch

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: College Student
Residence: Morris Plains, NJ, USA

The interviewee was a member of the local high school’s theater program and valued the legend as something to pass on, joke about, and even create a taboo of not touching the couch. 

“Ok so when I first joined theater there was like a faint mention of something called the sex couch. But there was like multiple couches so I didn’t really know which one it was. We used a green couch for [her 2nd show] and someone made a comment that was like “that’s the sex couch” but I knew we had just gotten that one from dumpster diving but later someone told me that it was the pink couch that was kept above the lighting aisle which was also used in [the same show] so I definitely just misunderstood whoever told me which one was which. It seemed like most people in the grades above me knew what the sex couch was and it was just like my first introduction to it was [this show]. People would talk about the couch in like passing and we had basically made jokes about it. [J], the head of lighting, even said that he himself had had sex on the couch, although I never knew if that was actually true or just him adding to the lore. One time during I think [her 5th show] [R] brought in a black light and we had like a big crowd gather to see if there was actually anything on the couch, and oh boy yeah there was on both sides of the cushions too. I think the sex couch is something that most people know about in the program and I definitely talked about it to new people and like told them what it was”

Though it may seem childish and silly, the idea of people having sex is a very grown-up idea for a freshman in high school. This legend was used to embarrass kids but also make them feel like a member of the club. An inside joke to share and whisper behind the director’s back. Upon further fieldwork, I discovered that many high school theaters have such couches. Besides passing it down as a story it is also considered an item of taboo or bad luck if you were the person in charge of retrieving or moving the sex couch. Nothing would happen from touching it but the humour and picking fun is relentless anyway. I believe it is important to have these jokes and these histories because it creates a glue that connects past and present as well as all the members to each other no matter where they are in their lives.

Wolf of Wall Street’s got nothing on this…

Nationality: African American

Primary Language: English

Other language(s): French

Age: 65

Occupation: Management Consultant

Residence: Upstate, NY

Performance Date: 4/20/2025

Context: 

My informant, WB, is a family member of mine who lives in the Hudson Valley area of New York. For a while now, I’ve known WB to be quite amazing at spending money, teaching me over the course of my life the concept of not wasting money on things that won’t be intrinsic in some capacity, or I’d end up like ‘another man on the street.’ Now, I always wanted to know what they meant by ‘man on the street,’ and it turns out it wasn’t a saying, metaphorical expression, or proverb, it was a reference to a stereotype they hated, yet held dear: 

Text: 

“Men are better with money than women. Now I don’t believe that but it’s something I grew up hearing. I come from a matriarchal family of successful women who oversaw and currently still oversee the family finances and the family business. They have all fared well and have been given the respect of being good with finances by their male family members and spouses especially. I think that saying came from an attempt for men to control women, like historically. We can look back in history and see when a man married a woman, her riches became his to control. Specifically in the most recent history, Colonial America, who followed the laws of their mother country; husbands controlled the woman’s property!!!” 

Analysis: 

So, this piece reflects a common gender-based folk belief which operates more as a social myth or stereotype than a truthfully grounded in experience. Now what’s compelling here is how the informant challenges the saying from both a personal and historical perspective. They come from a matriarchal family, where women not only handle finances but have consistently done so with success and respect. That alone functions as a counter-example that refutes the original saying and exposes it as culturally constructed rather than inherently true. However, I’ve definitely heard of this stereotype in my own life too, and of course, being related to WB, I never believed it either. The informant then takes it a step further by providing some slight historical context that reveals how the proverb wasn’t just a reflection of beliefs at the time, but also a tool used to justify inequality. And of course, in my research, and general experience in American history courses, yes, this stereotype was used tangibly to oppress women in colonial times and even still now in the digital age. Sadly some things never change. Though what I find most powerful here is that WB doesn’t just dismiss the saying they expose its function as control and offer real evidence from their family to disprove it. This turns the proverb into a kind of anti-folklore, still resembling folklorism though, a saying that survives culturally, even when it’s contradicted by lived experience. It’s also a good example of how folklore can be deeply personal and political at the same time, and how challenging traditional sayings can be part of reclaiming cultural and historical agency.

No Excuses

Nationality: Indian, American

Primary Language: English

Other language(s): N/A

Age: 19 yrs

Occupation: Student

Residence: Frisco, Texas

Performance Date: 2/1/2024

Text:

“Yeah so when I was a young kid, like I don’t know, 10 or 11, I was told by my grandfather that I needed to be serious about tennis and couldn’t slack off. My parents would repeat the same things he did, making me kind of fear being a slacker in a competitive sense. My grandfather said to me then: ‘He who cannot dance puts the blame on the floor,’ and it stuck with me. He told me it basically meant that even if I lost, the only one to blame for being bad at the game was me. It made me perform better but at a cost, a fear of failure type thing.”

Context:

My informant, PL, is a friend of mine from my freshman year at USC from Frisco Texas. I recall one day in second semester freshman year we were talking about tennis, a sport he used to play at a near professional level and won state championships for. We were waiting for an open spot to play pickle-ball down by the tennis courts and I asked him about his past in tennis as he mentioned he played it before, but I had no idea how personal it was to him or to what extent. That was until I questioned him about it later in time and asked him why he stuck with tennis, because he currently keeps describing tennis in the worst possible light. He then told me about a Hindu proverb that was told to him by his grandfather when he was growing up and learning tennis. He said that this proverb and the concept behind it was drilled into his head forever afterwards, pushing him to keep going, to keep trying to be the best, no excuses held or told, no slacking off in a competition. This made him feel a sort of resentment for the sport and the rigorous training he did and endured to effectively ascend the ranks with tennis pros.

Analysis:

PL said this was a proverb his grandfather told him and which his parents sometimes regurgitate, so clearly it is generational. I did some research about this proverb and ended up finding out that it was originally an African proverb but was adapted by Hindu culture centuries ago. It basically means that people who are serious about something they are passionate about, make it happen, and those who are not, make excuses, and tend to put blame on something else rather than themselves when failing. PL is of Hindu cultural descent, so this proverb is not so well known in the modern world, but rather a generational and cultural saying which was a huge way of pushing children to do their best in certain aspects of life like sports. I personally don’t agree with the way it was used in PL’s life, how it was made to make him fear failure, but in a general sense, the proverb is logical. If you are genuinely serious about something you are working on, you shouldn’t and probably won’t make excuses about it if under-performing when faced with challenges and obstacles preventing you from continuing to pursue or achieve a passion and/or goal. I think it’s super interesting how deeply rooted this proverb is in Hindu culture, as PL’s grandfather was telling him this saying like he’s heard it forever. The influence it had over PL’s tennis career was great as well, so clearly the proverb is influential in a behavioral sense, and historical sense, as this proverb has seemingly been around for centuries. 

Tayoon: A Botanical Blessing

Original:

طيون

Transliteration:

Tayoon

Translation:

There is no translation

The informant is a family member of mine that has lived in Lebanon for the entirety of her life and has grown up learning the significance of certain rituals and traditions with the world around her. 

Medicine:

The informant describes this medicine as a plant that is seen very traditionally “in many Arabic or Lebanese homes”. Although the plant has an original term and transliteration, it does not have a direct translation to the English language and is “similar to the leaves grown on herbal plants”. The plant is used to heal most wounds that include “deep cuts, scrapes and other physical injuries that required care” and is done by cutting up the leaves and making it into a “paste-like texture” and rubbing it into the wound. She states that it must be wrapped on the wound and left with no other ointments or medications as it is said to “clear the wound of any bacteria and also help it heal with the nutrient provided. The elder of the family, “usually my grandmother” my informant states will usually rub the plant into the wound and say a religious prayer to accompany the physical healing for general health and prosperity.

Context:

Although it is believed to have physical healing properties similar to aloe vera, it also holds religious significance as the plant was believed to have been the “Arabic blessing from god onto [their] gardens.” This is due to the plant not being seen anywhere besides the Levantine region and is seen as a gift that is only presented to them with its supposed healing powers physically and religiously. It is seen in most elders’ gardens as it was believed to have been the most “beneficial plant for bodily treatment”. The religious prayer was usually from the Islamic book, the Qur’an and would denote speeches from there to “help the kids who get hurt from their everyday activities”. The informant states that “it was important for me to do the same for my children and grandchildren because I still believe in this plant’s medicine and how god will listen to us” conveying its importance on her family and bloodline.

Analysis:

The plant is seen as more than a healing alternative to modern-day medicine as it seems to be still used to present the significance of culture on the healing and growth of children who get hurt and are treated with this plant. Religiously, the implications of the medicine being a gift from god allows the elders of the family to be seen as authority figures performing the acts of god on the children, healing and removing their worries from a situation through the use of plants grown in their garden. This blessing of the medicine in Lebanese culture plays a larger role as my informant still believes that it is the most suitable for most cases of harm, presenting it as a sort of ritual. It signifies the transferring of culture from one generation to another as she still uses it today on her grandchildren whilst teaching them the benefits. The life cycle of a plant may also be used to depict the human life cycle as it is also religiously associated and presents connotations of healing, allowing younger generations to feel connected to this certain folk medicine for the rest of their lives and offering them protection.

Russian Superstition – itchy ears

Nationality: Russian
Age: 83
Occupation: retired
Residence: California
Language: English

Text:

LM: ” If your ears or nose are itchy, that means that someone is talking about you. If they are hot, then they are talking ill towards you. I remember both my mother and my grandmother telling me this. My grandmother was from Russia, and she always told me it was a Russian superstition, which meant it was true. I don’t really remember if anyone outside of my family said this, but I know I always told it to my children.”

Context:

I was told this superstition by my grandmother, LM. She is 83 years old and lives in California. She is of Russian decent, and this superstition she says is Russian. I remember her telling me this on numerous occasions growing up, usually when I said I was itchy, or specifically my nose/ears were itchy. She shared this information with me in an over the phone interview.

Analysis:

This is a superstition that has been passed along through each generation of the family. When my informant learned about this superstition it was presented to her as fact, and she believes it to this day, even if it has no logical or scientific reasoning. Usually, superstitions like this are believed without any proof, especially if many people within the culture believe it or it was taught to them while a person was a child. Superstitions are often even subconscious beliefs, like avoiding walking under ladders. Usually there is some supernatural or spiritual component that grants good or bad luck. That is not the case here, but in other iterations of this superstition, the person with itchy will have good luck if they can guess who is talking about them right. However, this is not the version that LM learned or believes. This superstition has a lot of multiplicity and variation amongst the various cultures that it is found in. It is also interesting that LM’s grandmother believes that only Russian superstitions are true, whereas other culture’s superstitions are silly or false. Often, the cultural specificity of a superstition or folk belief plays a significant role in a person’s willingness to believe in the superstition or not. Because the superstition is “Russian,” LM’s grandmother believes it because it connects her to her culture, even if the superstition did not originate in Russia.