Tag Archives: testicle

He’s an Egg

The informant is a graduating senior at the University of Southern California, studying Creative Writing and Social Sciences with an emphasis in Psychology. She was born in Egypt and originally held Egyptian citizenship, but moved to the United States when she was quite young and is now an American citizen.

This expression is a somewhat crass way of calling a person dull.

“Can I tell you an expression that’s kind of dirty? Yes? Excellent. So, so the first boyfriend I had, my dad came over and met him, and I asked, “So what do you think?” And he said, “He’s kind of an egg,” but he said the word “egg” in Arabic, so I was like, “What? I’m so confused as to what you mean by that.” And he’s like, “You know, an egg.” And I said, “Go on, dad,” and he told me apparently, in Arabic, you call someone an egg to signify that they’re like a testical. They just kind of hang there. They’re more or less useless otherwise. Um, so that’s what my dad thought of my first ex-boyfriend. He called him a vanilla egg, because he was really white. It was really sad, he kinda just hung there like a testical, but it’s a common expression!”

When do people use it?

“When they’re trying to describe people that are really dull and really….basic bitches, basically. Someone who’s there, but you don’t necessarily need them to be there, you don’t kind of like them, they’re very average. They just kind of exist.”

And what’s the Arabic word for egg?

“Baydatan ( بيضة).”


I find it interesting that this expression indicates a dismissive view of male genitalia, where the testicals are viewed as dull or not particularly useful. It’s especially compelling when compared to how patriarchal western societies refer to testicals as the “goods,” the “family jewels,” and other terms that indicate value. This expression does highlight the reproductive value of testicals by referring to them as eggs.

One-Testicled Basketball Coach

Basketball Coach



My informant told me a story about the basketball coach at his school:


“We had this really mean basketball coach, who would often get angry at students for messing around. He would get all angry and red and would scream at the kids when they acted out of order. The funny thing was, though, that his voice would go really high when he yelled. People thought it was really funny, so it was hard to take him seriously. They would say that he, during a practice, wasn’t watching and got hit in the nuts with a basketball, so he lost a testicle and thats why his voice is so high and he’s so angry all the time — compensating for the missing testicle.”

My informant enjoyed the story and said people brought it up  with their friends whenever the coach got mad at them.

The story is a means of undermining the seriousness of the Coach’s anger, belittling the Coach and empowering the students to battle the coach’s authoritative yelling. Making fun of the coach for having only one testicle, students call him less of a man, using comedy to feel less intimidated by his shouting.