The Unity Candle

Shirley Turner Jean grew up in Rialto, California.  She graduated from Dwight D Eisenhower high school I 2004.  From there, she pursued a bachelor’s degree in physical education at Cal State San Bernardino.  Shortly thereafter, Shirley obtained a Masters Degree in Kinesiology from Azusa Pacific University.  She has sense obtained a number of credentials from Azusa Pacific University.  She currently lives in San Bernardino, California and teaches at Synergy Middle School in Los Angeles, California.  She is a PE teacher.

We had a beautiful wedding this past October that my beautiful friend, Keesha, helped put together.  (pauses and smiles at me)  Anyhoo, it was help at this garden in Glendale.  It was very intimate … and very hot, actually.  We did a lot of symbolic things to reinforce the idea of us coming together as a single unit.  One of the things that I wanted to emphasize was the union of our families.  Because, let me tell you, it is so true.  You don’t just marry the man, you marry his momma and all the other crazy relatives too!  So, we did the unity candle.  During the ceremony we had my mom on my end of the alter light a candle and his mom did the same on his side.  They both walked up to where we were standing and lit one, big, candle together.  To me, it symbolized how the two families had to come together to make this union work.  Now, I kind of wish I didn’t need so much of his mom’s input and participation in my marriage.  (laughs for a few seconds.  Then looks me straight in the face.)  Keesha, and it was pretty and stuff.

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It seems like this was only added to the wedding ceremony because it was a tradition and was aesthetically pleasing.  However, when put into practice and what it really means to the future marriage, it isn’t exactly warranted.