Author Archives: Timothy Clayton

Sex–Explained Simply

When the informant was a little girl, she was standing at a bus stop waiting for the bus to arrive.  The informant struck up a conversation with another girl, and after a little while the conversation turned to a hushed discussion of sex.  The other girl whispered, “Do you know how babies are made?”  “I have no idea,” the informant replied.

The other girl says, “He puts his hotdog…in her hamburger.”  The informant grins and accepts this knowledge, realization dawning on her.  Looking back, the informant points out this is the first time she really understood sex, at least in crude terms.  The analogy is at least somewhat accurate, and the informant passed this analogy on to her friends in hushed voices at school.  The informant believes it was just a simple way for her and her friend to understand sex.

I agree with the informant’s analysis.  I also thinks this demonstrates how children relate the unknown to things they do understand.  Every child knows what a hotdog is and what a hamburger is, but sex is often a big mystery that no one wants to talk about.  This analogy brings clarity to one of the great mysteries of childhood–sex.

Christmas Morning Breakfast

The informant stated that her family had a particularly torturous holiday tradition–every Christmas morning, before she and her sister could open presents, her mother would force the family to eat breakfast.  This breakfast was always the longest meal of the year, with the informant and her sister anxiously waiting for the meal to end.  The kids would complain the entire meal, but their mother always insisted on eating breakfast–for no apparent reason.  The informant believes her mother did this because “she was into rules and being strict.”

I agree with the informant’s analysis.  To add something to it, I think the mother believed rules should apply 365 days a year–and Christmas morning was no different.  It’s also possible this mother had a bad experience with Christmas, which would explain her insistence upon a joyless meal for her children.

Beer Goes Down Easy on a Boat

“Beer goes down easy on a boat” was an American expression used by the informant’s father.  The informant’s father would say this phrase while, obviously, on a boat and drinking (a lot) of beer.  The informant believes this expression was simply a way for her father to justify drinking, which she thought was funny.  She (the informant) pointed out that he wanted to drink beer anyway, and the phrase just helped him justify it.

The informant also said the phrase has since become a kind of family joke–“beer goes down easy on a boat” is used as a joke whenever family members are drinking beers together–such as saying “beer goes down easy sitting at the kitchen table” while sitting at the table drinking beers.

I agree with the informant’s analysis.  I think that being on boats in general lends itself to drinking, and this phrase was a telling and hilarious justification of one too many beers.

 

 

Once a Thief, Always a Thief

An American Proverb–Once a Thief, Always a Thief

 

The informant was caught shoplifting once as a child.  Her mother, after hearing the news, began crying and said, “Once a thief, always a thief!”  The informant says this made her feel extremely guilty, because it implies that she would continue to steal for the rest of her life.

I agree with the informant’s analysis.  Also, this proverb connects to other “once….always” proverbs such as “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”  I think this is a popular structure in American proverbs.  Also, this proverb demonstrates an extreme cultural condemnation of those who steal–because once they steal once, they will always be a thief.

 

Annotation: This proverb has appeared many times in popular culture, particularly in a shortened version.  “Once a Thief” is the name of two films (one by John Woo and one by Ralph Nelson), both of tell tales of thieves–the logical completion is “Once a Thief, Always a Thief.”  “Once a Thief” is also the title of a novel and a TV series, and the title is so popular that it has a “disambiguation” page on Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Once_a_Thief_(disambiguation)

An Apple a Day…

The informant heard this joke from his uncle, a doctor:

 

An apple a day keeps the doctor away,

But if the doctor’s cute keep the apple away.

 

The informant points out that this joke can be construed in different ways, and that his uncle (the doctor) would say this joke in a variety of contexts.  He would say this joke to the younger people and kids, and then again to the adults, with different reactions and meanings.  The informant believed his uncle thought being a doctor made him successful and attractive, and this joke reflects that quality.

I agree with this interpretation.