So, a plumber and a priest go golfing. The priest and the golfer drive up to the first hole, get all their stuff ready, get their clubs, they stand up, got their club in hand. The plumber’s up first. He goes to swing, looks at the ball, gets focused, tests for wind, stares at the hole, brings back his golf club, swings! And he misses completely, and screams out, “Fuck, I missed!”. And the priest says, “Oh, sir please, I wanted to have a good time with you, I wanted to come out here with you and play golf. Those words really make me uncomfortable, and I’d really prefer if you just didn’t say them.” So, the plumber’s like “:Oh yes, yes of course I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry priest.” So, he lines up his second shot. Club on the ground, in front of the ball, he’s got a big back swing … misses by a mile! And he says, “Fuck, I missed.” And the priest says “Sir! These words are against my faith. Please, please don’t continue with this, I can’t take it, I won’t still be out here with you.” And he says “Oh, I’m so sorry father, I’m so sorry, I really, I’ll stop.” Takes his golf club in hand, really focuses on this one, really lines this one up, he will never miss this one, swings it back … misses farther than he’s ever missed before, and he screams out, “Fuck! I missed!” And suddenly, clouds, dark looming clouds appear over the horizon, and these low, mumbling, growls of thunder, and suddenly lightning comes down, strikes and kills the priest! And you hear this loud, growling voice booming from the sky. “Fuck! I missed!”
Background: My informant recalls being told this joke by her dad, with whom she did not have a good relationship with and who she believes told it to her in an attempt to maintain his image of being fun and cool in front of his children.
Context: My informant first told me this joke in a one-on-one conversation when it was dying down, and reports that she usually says it when a conversation is stagnating.
My thoughts: I thought this joke was very funny when I first heard it, being from a Christian background myself, although it is unclear where my informant’s father heard it, as neither she nor any of her family has ever been Christian. In my interpretation, this joke pokes fun at how pious and up-tight clergy are, both by showing the priest’s annoying tendency to censor the other golf player, and by demonstrating God making the same sort of mistake (and the same sin of foul language) that the plumber makes.