Joke – Northern California

“On a nice Sunday afternoon, a husband and wife were having intercourse. Being the beautiful day that it was, the couple decided to leave the windows and doors open into the house. In the middle of their romp, the wife begins screaming in pain. The husband, thinking that he might have been a little too energetic, asked her what’s wrong. His wife responded that she thinks a bee might have flown into her vagina and it is causing intense pain. The husband tries everything he can think of but he cannot seem to extract the bee from his wife’s vagina.

In order to deal with his wife’s pain, the husband drives her as quickly as possible to the hospital. While his wife is clutching her private area and moaning in pain, the husband tells the doctor the absurd details of what had happened. The doctor admits he has never quite heard of a situation like this and his solution would require some creativity.

After thinking the situation over for a few minutes, the doctor informs the man that he has a plan, but he probably would take offense to the solution. The man asks the doctor what his plan is and the doctor informs him that the only way possible to extract the bee from woman’s vagina would be to lure or tempt it out. The man asks the doctor what this would entail. The doctor tells the man that, if the man will consent, he will put honey on his penis and slowly insert it into his wife’s vagina in the hopes that the honey will attract the bee to leave its new home. The man thinks the plan over and finally agrees that this will probably be the only way. The doctor asks the man to kindly wait outside and the man agrees.

Sitting outside the doctor’s office, the husband hears his wife’s gentle moans of pain. After a while, however, the sounds begin to change. The moans no longer sound in pain but possibly pleasure. The man dismisses the notion, thinking that he is simply being jealous. After a while though, the man is sure he is hearing a change in the medical activities in the next door. His wife is no longer moaning but yelling “YES YES YES!”

The husband decides that he can no longer take it and that the doctor lied about his plan. The husband rushes into the next room and sees the doctor breaking his wife off something fierce. The man is horrified at this scene and shouts at the doctor,

“What in the world are you doing?!? What happened to the plan??” The doctor, without missing a beat, shouts back,

“Plan wasn’t working, switching to Plan B, I’m gonna drown that son of a bitch!!”

Jake told that he learned this joke from his soccer coach when he was in 8th grade. He told me that it was before a big game in the state playoffs and he and his teammates were all pretty nervous. Because the mood was so tense, while they were doing their warm-ups the coach came over and told them this joke to liven the mood. Jake told me that it did a pretty good job and he had them all laughing extremely hard. The joke did its job and prevented them from second guessing themselves before the big match. As a result they went onto to win the game. After telling it, Jake was not a hundred percent sure that this was the exact version that his coach had told him originally and that he may have adapted certain elements.

This joke is extremely vulgar and most likely intended for a male audience. It plays off the stereotype that doctors may not always be honest in their intentions and can be deceiving at times, as well as the fact that husbands can be oblivious to the promiscuous actions of their wives. It has a very sexual element and I can see how it would be appealing to an audience of young teenage boys. At further examination, it also has an element of male versus male competition and how in our culture this seems to be the driving force in many male interactions, especially when in contest for women. When he first told me I also found it quite funny. In reflection, I thought it interesting that society makes jokes about those things that some people are uncomfortable with, such as sexual actions and promiscuity of significant others. This joke and others on the topic act as a socially acceptable way of addressing these issues.

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