Author Archives: Katherine Cowdrey

“Kill ’em with Kindness”

I asked my informant if she knew any proverbs and “kill ’em with kindness” came up as she is a mother of two and tells this to her kids when they encounter bullies or rudeness.

Me: What do you mean when you say “kill ’em with kindness” and when do you use it?

CC: When my kids are bullied or encounter mean or rude people and are angry and either want to retaliate or give up, I tell them to kill ’em with kindness. The mean people of the world, just be nice to them, and they can’t bother you, you don’t stoop to their level. It’s always the best way to deal with mean people.

Me: Where did you learn this?

CC: From my own mother I suppose? I grew up Catholic, and this isn’t strictly a Catholic saying, but it goes along with the values of kindness and turning the other cheek. It’s a good way to live by, being kind and not reciprocating rudeness.

Analysis:

This is a proverb coming from a suburban Catholic family, specifically from  a mother. It means as she says to not reciprocate rudeness, but to treat the rude people with kindness instead and the situation will get better and not elevate like it would if rudeness was reciprocated with rudeness. It also goes along with teaching kids not to react and retaliate, but to be kind. It may be a modern, colloquial iteration of some Proverbs from the Bible.

Annotation: This proverb has some similar iterations in Proverbs of King James Bible.

Prov 25:21, 22: If your enemy is hungry, give him food; if 
he is thirsty, give him water.  When you do this, he will feel 
ashamed of hating you and the Lord will reward your compassion.

“I don’t give a rat’s ass”

My informant is my mother, who has heard my father spout says and folk speech all their married life. My father is prone to using such phrases in everyday conversations. Here is an example she gives when I asked if she knew any folk sayings.

“Your father says “I don’t give a rat’s ass” all the time, usually when you are complaining to him about something, he’ll say it and you will know the argument is pointless because he doesn’t care about the circumstances or what you are saying, he’s just going to continue on what he is doing because he thinks it doesn’t apply to them. Like if you were to complain about . . . say doing a chore or homework or something and give him some excuses he would say he doesn’t give a rat’s ass and tell you to go do whatever it is anyway”

Analysis:

This basically means that the person who uses this folk speech doesn’t care about the circumstances whatsoever, even to the extent of a rat’s ass. No one cares much about rats in fact most people hate them, and their “ass” is even more insignificant than the whole rat, thus creating the effect of making an allusion to the least most desirable thing imaginable. Thus if the circumstance is cared about less than a rat’s ass, then they really do not care. It is usually used amongst friends or family as it is quite explicit and either in joking or a serious argument.

“Suck eggs on them”

My informant is my mother, who has heard my father spout says and folk speech all their married life. I’ve grown up hearing them myself. My father is prone to using such phrases in everyday conversations. Here is an example.

“Well your father says suck eggs all the time. I don’t know what it means or where he got it from. It means buzz off in a not so nice way. Or “suck eggs on them” like they don’t matter or screw them. If you are complaining about something someone did, he’ll say “well suck eggs on them”.

Analysis:

This is an example of a folk speech, a folk saying with a connotative meaning. It comes from the idea that one looks very silly sucking on an egg and therefore saying one should “suck eggs” is a kind of a curse, like screw them. It means that the person who is complaining is the “good” party while the person being told to suck eggs is the “bad”. It was originally an English saying, meaning something similar. It is used as a derogatory term, a curse, but usually not in the presence of the person the curse is directed towards. It is usually between a person telling another of something another did and that second person agreeing with the first on the irritating qualities or action of that person.

 

The Charro Ride – Reconnection to Western Roots

Formed in 1961, The Scottsdale Charros are an all-volunteer, nonprofit group of business and civic leaders in Scottsdale, Arizona that support youth sports, education and charitable causes. From the very beginning, the Charros—by their very name—meaning gentlemen riders, embodies the Scottsdale’s 1947 slogan, “The West’s Most Western Town.”. My father is a member of this group and I have grown up around their traditions and celebration of western culture. Most notably, I remember their annual ride, so I asked my father to explain further what it is, and what it’s purpose is.

“We have been doing it {the ride} for fifity five years. We put together the Charro ride where we have 150 civic minded leaders and take them on a three day horseback ride somewhere unique in the state of Arizona, whether it be a ranch, a forest or a desert. We have been all over the state, a different place every year. It is way for people to get to know our state and see places they wouldn’t normally see. A way for us to appreciate our home and its beauty and to engage community leaders with our state and for them to get to know its beauty. It is a weeklong horseback ride because it’s a way to connect with our western heritage and to live life like a cowboy. Day one the guests arrive by bus, and we meet them, then we give them a horse and ride from there to camp, which is a permanent site with tents and a kitchen, and we camp out under the stars and wake up the next day and go on an all-day trail ride. It’s a very traditional ride. There are events for the rookie riders, like each year they have to do something to entertain us like they do funny skits and things to entertain us, someone is in charge of organizing that, and on the last day we all have a gymkana which is a horseback skills challenge, like a mini rodeo, so you’ll race around the track,, run around the barrels, sort cattle and do different cowboys skills challenges. This happens on the last day, then the wives show up and have a big party in camp.”

 

Analysis:

This is a festival of sorts celebrating and performing Western heritage and traditions. It is a group of men from the Scottsdale and Phoenix area who are civic leaders or participants who meet to engage with their shared Western traditions. It is put on by the Scottsdale Charros, a non-profit group, and participated in by Charro members and non-members alike, however they are all men. It is meant to celebrate the cowboy heritage and traditions of Arizona by participating in a long horse ride, rodeo competitions and sleeping out under the stars like herders of yore. It is the same traditions every year, however in a different place, as part of the festival is to celebrate the beauty and diversity of Arizona landscapes from deserts to forests. It is a community experience to reconnect with cowboy culture for people who shape the community and therefore should be in connection with their community’s traditions and culture. It takes place in the fall, just before winter when the heat has died down and for a week. It is performing the identity of being a member of the Scottsdale/Phoenix community and the identity of living in the southwest.

Parada Del Sol, Western Heritage Parade

The Parada Del Sol is an annual parade in Scottsdale, Arizona. My father is an active, yearly participant since he was very young.

Me: What is the Parada Del Sol?

TC: The Parada Del Sol, has been around for a very long time and it’s the larget horse drawn parade in the country. And it’s also, when I was a kid, the parade coincided with the parade del sol rodeo, so the parade was on Saturday and the rodeo is the Saturday and Sunday. It’s in the springtime and runs through Old Towne Scottsdale. Different equeestrain groups from around Arizona, different government  figures, and civic groups like Native American groups and the Sherrif’s posse and the Scottsdale charros and girl scout groups all walk or ride in the parade. The streets are lined with spectators and it’s an all day affair.

Me: What is the purpose of the parade?
The purpose is to maintain the western heritage of Scottsdale. We are the west’s most western city and have a lot of pride in our western heritage. It’s a combination of our cowboy history, Native American history and Mexican history that makes up the culture of our state and we are celebrating that to remind people of the greatness of our state and to let the kids know where they are living and the history and culture that is found here in Arizona and especially Scottsdale.

Me: Who chooses the parade participants?

TC: A non-profit group has run the parade since the beginning. A committee that runs the parade chooses the participants, it’s a non-government group. It’s a lot of same groups every year with new members, but there is a lot of new groups that pop up.

Analysis:

Festivals and parades are great ways to express identity, whether of a nation or town. They bring together elements they deem important to their identity and display and perform that for everyone to see. The participants are either performing some aspect of their identity or the spectators are watching and passively participating. This festival is expressing the western identity of Scottsdale, Arizona and of Arizona in general by parading members of the community from all walks of life that express western culture. Whether that be an Apache group in traditional dress or the Sherif’s Posse in traditional cowboy dress on horseback. They are expressing and celebrating what they believe is their western culture. People of all backgrounds attend and participate, therefore it is an inclusive celebrating that projects a sense of community around the shared past of the state. It’s put on by a cultural group and participated in by the general public. The parade occurs in the spring when it is starting to warm up again, the name Parada Del Sol in Spanish means parade of the sun, Scottsdale, Arizona is known for its heat and it is something that all Arizonans know and consider part of their identity, that is this shared experience of the extreme heat. Therefore the sun is an important part of their daily lives. The rodeo (it does not happen anymore), is another performance and celebration of Western heritage as Arizona is the birthplace of the Rodeo,which stems from competition based on real life skills needed in cattle ranching. Therefore a rodeo is a large part of the community celebration of western heritage and tradition.