Author Archives: Yj Si

你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao): You are My Small Cotton-Padded Jacket

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. She chose to share a short affectionate metaphor.

TEXT: 

A: “I think something that’s a little bit more recent is 你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao), or in English, ‘You’re like my winter coat’ basically. And it’s usually used when a kid is being a really good child or a really good son or a daughter to their parents. People will be like, ‘Oh,你是你的爸爸的小棉袄’ or ’You’re your dad’s warm winter coat,’ or the same thing for my mom. And it’s one of those phrases that I just remember hearing all the time growing up

Me: “Was it because you were a well-behaved child?”

A: “My parents just really liked me. It was interesting, actually. Because for my dad, it was like he started using it a lot more recently while my mom has always just used it. I think she first said it to me when I was like, maybe like, five or six. And she said it and then she explained the origin of the meaning and then I just remember her always just saying that sometimes. But I think now that I’m about to leave home, they say it more than ever, which is interesting. 

Me: “How do you feel about that saying? What does it mean for you?”

A: “I feel like in every Asian family every compliment or every reference to being a good son or daughter is always like, intrinsically tied to your achievements. You know, if you’re winning competitions, if you’re getting a 4.0. And I feel like this was one of the compliments that are less in reference to stuff like that. And it was more just about how I was as a daughter emotionally rather than I guess in terms of concrete accomplishments. So it’s one of the compliments that means more in that sense.”

ANALYSIS：

I was unfamiliar with this saying, but it’s also one that comes up more recently, with the invention of cotton-padded jackets. I agree – it’s not often that Chinese families are affectionate, especially as one gets older, and sayings like this are important and make us feel warm like our own cotton-padded jackets. In a sense, this seems comparable to the parent still saying that their child is theirs and that their child metaphorically keeps them warm, and brings light into their lives. Especially because Asian immigrant parents are traditionally (and, stereotypically) more focused on their children’s accomplishments, this saying serves as a contrast to that tradition. Furthermore, it’s interesting that this is a saying more commonly said during childhood, pre-adolescence, before the children begin to (often at their parents’ command) explore artistic and academic skills. As the children get older, there is a higher and higher expectation for them to actually do something, especially as the children of the parents’ friends and relatives begin to get their own accomplishments. In turn, the desire for the children to work and accomplish mutes the affection that was there before. Still, this saying is representative of the love parents have for their child despite a transition into stricter parenting.

冻得像个寒号鸟 (Dong De Xiang Ge Han Hao Niao): Frozen Like a Winter-Cry Bird

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. 

In Mandarin Chinese, there are many sayings that are short metaphors and morals derived from origin folktales, often involving animals or foolish people. These sayings are known as 成语 (chengyu). 

TEXT:

A: “So when I was younger, my dad and I had this routine that we would go through every time we went out. And it was always my dad saying ‘Go grab a jacket, it’s gonna be cold.’ And I’d be like, ‘No, I’m fine.’ And then I would go out and I’d be cold. And he would see me being cold. And when he would give me his jacket, he would also be like, ‘冻得像个寒号鸟,’ which, in English, is ‘frozen like this specific species of bird.’ The story behind it is that there’s like, there was this bird called 寒号鸟, and it lived in this tree. And summer ended, and fall approached like all of these birds were flying south right? And they were always like, ‘寒号鸟, you have to come south with us. You’re gonna freeze to death.’ And the bird would always be like, ‘No, it’s too late, I don’t want to go.’ And then more and more birds were flying and leaving, and it just wouldn’t go because it was lazy. And then winter actually came and it couldn’t fly through the snow and then it froze to death. So that’s why my dad was always like, ‘冻得像个寒号鸟.’

Me: “How do you feel about that particular phrase?

A: “I definitely feel some exasperation, almost, because it would be like, ‘Okay, I get it.’ You’re saying I should have listened to you and I should have listened to your advice. And I shouldn’t be lazy. I should go grab a jacket.’

Me: “Do you find that it’s helped your habit at all?”

A: “I mean, I think all kids grow up to become more responsible. And I don’t think he’s said that in a really long time, actually. But it’s something that I remember.”

ANALYSIS:

This story seems to have many different versions, but for the most part, the context is the same. The lessons of some of the other documented versions of this story seem to be focused on discouraging laziness and lack of preparation, and tend to be utilized for situations beyond literally freezing. In A’s instance, however, it is about literally being prepared for the cold. However, to me, it seems to be less about laziness and more about just not acting like you can handle more cold than you can, and her father seems to be comparing her to the bird in terms of the cold rather than saying she’s being lazy. Parents, especially when their children are young, often take pleasure in proving themselves right. For something like wearing a jacket in the cold, this is one of the most common ones, even across cultures. For Chinese Americans, though, it ties in with its own story — beyond a simple “I told you so” into a fixed phrase for a specific occurrence.

That’s So Camp

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. She enjoys writing poetry as well as knitting.

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me, and she referred to this collection as “camp.” I asked her to elaborate on the phrase for the collection and to explain its meaning. 

TEXT:

Me: “Where would you say you got ‘camp’ from?”

A: “I like it a little bit when people don’t initially understand what the hell I’m talking about. And that was one of the phrases where if I said it, people would just be like, ‘What the hell does that even mean?’ I just like things that are very subjective to interpretation. And ‘that’s so camp,’ depending on how I say it, is just something that can be very subjective and it can be an insult or a compliment or just an observation. I’m pretty sure it was after an award ceremony, maybe the Met Gala and the theme was ‘camp.’ That was years ago and I remember being like, ‘That is such a good definition,’ I need to start using that and now I think it’s a staple of my vocabulary.”

Me: “What does it mean to you?”

A: “I feel like it’s very hard to describe verbally. I would say camp is when you can tell someone is trying to do something where there’s a very large amount of effort present, and the execution is more questionable. So like, sometimes outfits are camp in that sometimes they’re good because they’re camp and sometimes they’re bad because they’re camp and it’s just about how you sort of pull it off.”

ANALYSIS:

I also use this term — “camp” tends to refer to things that are a little weird or off-putting, but not always necessarily in a bad way. For example, things that are eccentric are camp. Anything that is camp also tends to be somewhat amusing. They can be artificial or self-consciously ironic. In a sense, it refers to things that are so bad they are good because of the intention. Today, there almost seems to be a revitalization of the appreciation for things that aren’t perfect, and even more so, things that are intentionally imperfect. Irony, especially amongst the younger generation, has taken hold as a point of appreciation. There seems to also be a lack of desire for people to point out that one thing is absolutely cool or uncool, and “camp” is a way to fit in between that. With such a loose definition, it’s easier to judge ambiguously, which can serve a good purpose at a time when our statements are much more highly scrutinized.