Category Archives: folk metaphor

“Hen-pecked”

1. Text (folk metaphor)

“Hen-pecked”

2. Context 

My informant heard this phrase often from her grandmother. They were born and raised in the south, Louisiana specifically, before moving to Texas. She recalls an old saying that states that you don’t let your boyfriend or husband carry your purse for that mean he’s “hen-pecked.” She further elaborated on how hen-pecked often referred to when a man “is not the head of household”, but the woman is and “as a woman, you have taken his power from him.” She heard this when she was a child growing up as a black woman in the south during the 80s. 

3. Analysis/YOUR interpretation

From my understanding of the phrase, it seems to be rooted in southern misogynistic beliefs. My informant was raised in a rural Texan community after her family moved from Louisiana. As someone who was born and also raised in Texas, I am aware of the stereotypes, traditions, and customs commonly associated. Being the head of the household typically entails the male figure is seen as the provider, masculine, and generally opposite of many stereotypical feminine traits associated with the women. So when a man holds his wife’s purse, these shared belief systems may consciously or subconsciously take hold resulting in narrow-minded beliefs. During the time my informant recalls these ideologies, hegemonic masculinity in the black community was apparent. Hegemonic masculinity at its core refers to the belief that men’s position in society remains dominant. This is often seen as the social pressures men have faced of being expected to depict a perfect “expression” of masculinity. The term hen-pecked means not seen as masculine but seen as subservient to one’s wife and therefore not upholding the hegemonic masculine standards. This is an oikotype of the original meaning. Hen-pecked originally came from the way hens are constantly pecking at the ground for food and the way a wife or girlfriend may nag at her significant other resulting in the man complying with the wife. It seems the term became used more generally not only referring to the woman pecking/nagging their partner, but anything done by the man which could be seen as subservient to women.

Bottom of my shoes

Text:

“I will write your name on the bottom of my old shoes” (Σε γράφω στα παλιά μου τα παπούτσια)

Context:

EF is an eight-two-year-old woman who is like a surrogate grandma to me. She lives in Northridge, CA., but grew up in a small Greek village called Corfu; she remains very connected to her Greek heritage and culture. From her cooking to her proverbial warnings, she is filled with unique folklore that she loves to share. I facetimed EF and asked her to give me staple proverbs or sayings from her small village. She decided to share this proverb because it stood out in her mind.

EF- When a guy is very angry at another guy, he can say “I will write you on the bottom of my shoe.” That’s when they want nothing to do with each other. 

Interviewer- Can you remember a time when you heard someone say this?

EF- (in a serious tone) Yes! My ex-husband screamed it at my brother (bursts out laughing).

After she finished chuckling, she explained that it is a very serious insult but mostly exchanged between men.

Analysis:

Since the informant did not know when she heard this proverb, that pointed to a possible historical origin. I researched the phrase and found one explanation. According to the article, this insult dates back to a practice by a Babylonian king when firing the lords. The king would write the unlucky lord’s name on the bottom of a pair of old shoes and send them to him. This represented not only the lord’s loss of title but also that he meant nothing to the king anymore (Kontolemos, 2022). It is understandable why this is perceived as a very serious statement that is only used in intense arguments. The fact that this folk speech is still widely used in Greece illustrates how important history and tradition is in Greek culture. Beyond the Babylonian explanation, one could interpret this phrase as the person is so worthless that they belong under my shoe like trash. The theatrical nature of writing a person’s name on old shoes represents an ongoing insult because the name will never come off the shoes, just as the person who wronged you will never mean anything to you again.

Kontolemos, A. (2022, May 12). 11 greek expressions you should know. Mental Floss. Retrieved February 23, 2023, from https://www.mentalfloss.com/posts/greek-phrases

You ate my ears

Text:

“You ate my ears” (μου έφαγες τα αυτιά)

Context:

EF is eight-two-year-old women who is like a surrogate grandma to me. She lives in Northridge, CA., but grew up in a small Greek village called Corfu; she remains very connected to her Greek heritage and culture. From her cooking to her proverbial warnings, she is filled with unique folklore that she loves to share. I asked EF to facetime with me, so I could gain knowledge from her, for this project. Since she is eighty-two, she does not remember the origins of most of her folk speech. However, she did recall where and who she always heard saying the metaphor, “You ate my ears.”

EF- There was a group of widows in my village that always sat around and all they did was gossip (rolls her eyes). They were always saying that someone ate their ears, so someone is too loud and obnoxious.

EF- Many Greek husbands yell this at their wife if she is nagging (laughs).

Interviewer- Did your ex-husband ever say that to you?

EF- No! You crazy girl (laughing). If he did, I would’ve slapped him (powerful Greek woman smile).

EF also explained that the reason for so many odd sayings in her small village was due to lack of education. She said since they didn’t have good vocabularies, people would try to express themselves with combinations of words they knew. She also mentioned that another use for the metaphor was to ward off street salesman who wouldn’t leave.

Analysis:

This folk metaphor is common throughout Greece; however, like a lot of folk speech, is it difficult to pinpoint the exact origin. The informant first heard the saying from a group of older women who were widows in her small village, which shows how useful this phrase was in multiple generations’ conversations. This is a blatant insult that seems to only be directed at women and never men but can be used by either gender. As the informant explained, the phrase is often used by husbands to describe their wives’ unfavorable behaviors. This speaks to how prominent the stereotype was of Greek women, especially Greek wives, as very loud nagging figures. The commonality of the metaphor reveals some degree of sexism during that time period, perhaps by both men and women, since the widows used it to describe only other women in the village, but not men.

Gimme some Sugar

Text:

“Come ‘er and gimme some sugar”

Context:

The informant is my Mamaw, that’s how we say grandma where I’m from. She is sixty-eight years old; she was born in Pennsylvania, then moved to Kentucky, and has now lived in Tennessee for about forty years. She has an incredibly thick southern accent that sounds like most other people over fifty in my town and would most definitely self-identify as a country bumpkin. I called and asked her if she knew any phrases that were specifically southern, maybe that her northern siblings don’t say. As she was giving a few examples in her slow voice, I was reminded of a metaphor that I have only heard her, and my mother say.

Interviewer- What about the phrase you say when want me to give you affection before I leave your house or just got there?

Informant- (contemplates) Oh, (laughs) “come ‘er and gimme some sugar.” (She says the phrase in a tone that is somehow a mix of sternness and love)

Interviewer- So why do you say that, because obviously you don’t want actual sugar?

Informant- Hmm, idk I’ve ‘nt put much thinking to it I guess (laughs)

Interviewer- Do you remember the first time you heard it or who said it?

Informant- Lord no, I’ve just always said it to my kids and grandkids, so someone must’ve said it to me.

Analysis:

This metaphor encapsulates many characteristics of the region I grew up in and the people there. The phrase “gimme some sugar” is pretty simplistic, it means give me a hug or kiss, but the metaphor actually represents much more. First, this saying is only used with family members or close friends and is said to someone much younger than an adult. The tone that is used can almost be described as authoritative, but in a loving and high-pitched voice, so the command cannot be ignored. These characteristics of the metaphor speak to the significance of respecting and obeying one’s elders in Southern culture. Using the word “sugar” adds that warm and affectionate charm that Southerners are known for; they are quite literally “sugar coating it.” Sugar is also a vital ingredient in many dishes, and I have noticed many other examples of ingredients and food being used as representatives in Southern folk speech. This is likely due to the importance of preparing food and eating together which is heavily emphasized in Southern culture.

你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao): You are My Small Cotton-Padded Jacket

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. She chose to share a short affectionate metaphor.

TEXT: 

A: “I think something that’s a little bit more recent is 你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao), or in English, ‘You’re like my winter coat’ basically. And it’s usually used when a kid is being a really good child or a really good son or a daughter to their parents. People will be like, ‘Oh,你是你的爸爸的小棉袄’ or ’You’re your dad’s warm winter coat,’ or the same thing for my mom. And it’s one of those phrases that I just remember hearing all the time growing up

Me: “Was it because you were a well-behaved child?”

A: “My parents just really liked me. It was interesting, actually. Because for my dad, it was like he started using it a lot more recently while my mom has always just used it. I think she first said it to me when I was like, maybe like, five or six. And she said it and then she explained the origin of the meaning and then I just remember her always just saying that sometimes. But I think now that I’m about to leave home, they say it more than ever, which is interesting. 

Me: “How do you feel about that saying? What does it mean for you?”

A: “I feel like in every Asian family every compliment or every reference to being a good son or daughter is always like, intrinsically tied to your achievements. You know, if you’re winning competitions, if you’re getting a 4.0. And I feel like this was one of the compliments that are less in reference to stuff like that. And it was more just about how I was as a daughter emotionally rather than I guess in terms of concrete accomplishments. So it’s one of the compliments that means more in that sense.”

ANALYSIS：

I was unfamiliar with this saying, but it’s also one that comes up more recently, with the invention of cotton-padded jackets. I agree – it’s not often that Chinese families are affectionate, especially as one gets older, and sayings like this are important and make us feel warm like our own cotton-padded jackets. In a sense, this seems comparable to the parent still saying that their child is theirs and that their child metaphorically keeps them warm, and brings light into their lives. Especially because Asian immigrant parents are traditionally (and, stereotypically) more focused on their children’s accomplishments, this saying serves as a contrast to that tradition. Furthermore, it’s interesting that this is a saying more commonly said during childhood, pre-adolescence, before the children begin to (often at their parents’ command) explore artistic and academic skills. As the children get older, there is a higher and higher expectation for them to actually do something, especially as the children of the parents’ friends and relatives begin to get their own accomplishments. In turn, the desire for the children to work and accomplish mutes the affection that was there before. Still, this saying is representative of the love parents have for their child despite a transition into stricter parenting.