Don’t F**k with Camel Spiders

Informant Background:

This Informant is a staff sergeant in the United States Marine Corps with numerous tours under his belt. He’s currently a MECEP in the USC Naval battalion. He’s married with a kid on the way.

Informant’s Story:

“Dude, camel spiders are f**king terrifying. Like, I’ve been shot at and had sh** explode around me, but I have never been more stressed than finding a camel spider. These things arent like normal spiders. They f**king chase you and have mouths. Not little pincer things, f**king mouths. Anyways, the folklore element thing with these things is how they got their name. There are three origins that I’ve heard from both marines and interpreters. One is that they can run as fast as a camel, which I can attest to cause those f***kers run. Another one is that they can jump as high as a camel. I’ve never seen this, but I know they can jump. The last one is that they can suck a camel dry. Again, I haven’t seen this, but I sure as hell wouldn’t want to.”

Analyses:

As it turns out, Camel spiders are arachnids but not actually spiders at all. They dont jump, they dont chase people, and they dont completely devour camels. The camel spider gets its name from the true fact that it does eat camel stomachs, but generally dead ones. Camel spiders were fairly unknown until the U.S invaded Iraq and were forced to coexist with these eight legged creatures. Thanks to the nature of soldiers and marines to exaggerate, along with the animal’s grotesque features, the camel spider has received the reputation of being quite the monster. Other myths include that they scream, have deadly venom, and chew on soldiers in their sleep. None of these are true.