Author Archives: Natalie Strom

“Why you want me?”

Sarah’s mother is a teacher. To supplement her income she often takes on students to tutor after school as well. While she was at one of her student’s homes, his younger sister came up and started to play with Sarah’s mother. The child was very young and cute so the mother said “Oh I wish I could just take you home with me!” The little girl was very concerned and looked up at her mother to ask, “Why you want me? You no have one?”

I have heard this story told many times both to new friends who haven’t yet heard it and repeated to people who request it. The family often asks each other those questions in the voice her mother uses to represent the little girl as a response to lots of questions and requests, such as being asked to take out the trash or do the dishes.

“If it’s possible, we’ll help one each the other out. Handle me over the bread.”

“If it’s possible, we’ll help one each the other out. Handle me over the bread.”

My grandmother’s mother was very “fearful to speak English” and she preferred to speak instead in Yiddish. While her father was “pretty good” at speaking English, neither of them were as proficient as their native English speaking children. My grandmother and her siblings used to tease their parents with this phrase because it incorporated some notable mistakes that they had made while learning English.

Az men lebt, erleybt men.

“Az men lebt, erleybt men.”

My grandmother told me that this phrase was used by her mother if she or one of her siblings “was concerned about something, [if they] thought [they] didn’t do something right [they] didn’t learn something right.” Although not a direct translation, my grandmother took it to mean “Well it’s part of living, you learn from what happens.” My great grandmother’s native language was Yiddish, but it was important for her and my great grandfather that her children spoke English as they lived in America, so although my grandmother understands a lot of Yiddish she is more comfortable in English, interestingly the opposite situation in which her mother found herself.

Mink thongs

When my grandmother first told me the story about how she got her “mink thongs” and then asked if I wanted to see them, I was pretty taken aback as I had considered “thongs” with the modern meaning of underwear and she never would have asked if I wanted to see her underwear. However, I soon learned she’d meant “thongs” as in footwear, though I could hardly call them functional shoes.

This story of how she got the mink thongs is often told after dinners, especially with new guests present.

“When Century City [a mall] was first being built, my friend and I, we were Girl Scout leaders, and we used to go places to see if we can…have trips for…to take the girls. Well, one day we went there just to scout it out, and they were having a contest. It was called…God I think it was called “The Person Most Likely to Succeed dot dot dot.” And…I won it! Because, I have a feeling…it was for this place called Mary Webb Davis she was very well known for models, for modeling and things. And one of the thing, the reasons I think I won is that I kind of, I sort of was heavy and she was going to show me how to…uh…they were going to improve me. Well, it was in 2 parts, because eventually they hoped you’d become one of her models, but I didn’t really want to go by myself. So I decided to share with my friend who was tall and slender and knew how to put on makeup…she was really…well she was put together. Anyway, I asked if she could share the first part with me and that’s what we did. I didn’t go to the second…uh session. So I had…a few…I learned 2 or 3 things. I learned how to get in and out of a car, how to sit, how to hold your hands.

I got several prizes. One of them I never used, is to go someplace to learn to put makeup on, other than the modeling studio. And then I won a machine that was supposed to help me lose weight. But…after I received it, they put out…a…some kind of…a recall that, “Don’t use it,” because the…uh…the electric, whatever made it run…I don’t remember what it had…I didn’t have to plug it in. But it vibrated, and they said it might not be good for you.

Oh yes, and I forgot. My most precious gift was mink thongs.  I guess, you’ll show a picture of it because it’s unbelievable. Mink thongs.”

 

Again my grandmother echoes her often expressed sentiments that she’s not “pretty enough” or “intelligent enough,” something that I believe was ingrained in her when she wasn’t able to go to college for want of money and she ended up being the last of her sisters and friends to get married. She was always on the bigger side but has always been very beautiful and she is constantly told that she looks 20 years younger than she actually is. But I don’t think she’ll ever lose those feelings.