Author Archives: Olivia Gardner

When it Rains it Thunders

Informant:

I had a conversation about proverbs they had learned from their families with three female employees at a local taco shop during one of the less busy times of the day.  Mercedes Rodriguez, 42, Maria Lopez, 23, and Rosalba Valdez, 18 each consider themselves Mexican.  Rosalba was the only one born in the United States, though she is a second generation immigrant.  Rosalba’s mother would use this proverb whenever one bad thing happened and a lot of other things seemed to follow.

Text:

Cuando llueve truena.

Transliteration: When it rains it thunders.

Translation: When it rains it thunders.

Analysis:

This is much like the American proverb, when it rains it pours.  Interestingly, rain is connected with bad things in the context of this proverb, though rain may in many cases be a very good thing, especially for agriculture.

 

Left-handed Paper Stretchers

Informant:

Maximilian Gardner, 14, is a freshman in high school, and considers himself “Caucasian.”  He plays football and basketball at his high school.  He heard about this from a friend on the football team near the beginning of the school year.  Mr. Salyer is a teacher at the school.

Text:

So, apparently, at the beginning of the year, Mr. Salyer will ask one of the new kids to go find the left-handed paper stretcher.  And he’ll tell them, “I think Mrs. Gunnell has it.  Do you mind going and asking for it?” And so that kid will run off to Mrs. Gunnell’s room on the opposite side of the school.  Well, she doesn’t have it, so she tells him to go to another teacher, again on the opposite side of campus.  And they keep doing that over and over again until finally they either realize there’s no such thing as a left-handed paper stretcher or someone tells them.  I guess one time, this guy, Cal, he ended up going for literally three hours until someone had pity on him and told him to stop.  So basically, once the first person has gone looking for the left-handed paper stretcher, all the new kids are officially part of the school.

Analysis:

This is a classic initiation rite, very much like an anchor watch or some other prank.  To Max, this rite is the official symbol that the new students are part of the school, more than even a welcome pep rally or some other official function.   Interestingly, eBay now sells water color paper stretchers, but I think that is to hold a piece of paper in place while painting.

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/A3-WATERCOLOUR-PAPER-STRETCHER-/260825476556

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/A4-PAPER-STRETCHER-WATERCOLOUR-/260819081848#ht_2844wt_881

http://ai.mee.nu/hand_me_the_finnegan_pin

http://www.messybeast.com/dragonqueen/fools-errands.htm

 

Lemon-eating contest

Informant:

Maximilian Gardner, 14, is a freshman in high school, and considers himself “Caucasian.”  He plays football and basketball at his high school.  He participated in this initiation rite as part of joining the basketball team.

Text:

Ok, now, the basketball team has this tournament in Phoenix every year, you see, and so it lasts for about three or four days.  Well, on the last night there, the whole team goes to this one T.G.I. Fridays, and then, after the meal’s over, all the freshmen have to compete in this lemon eating competition.  Basically, they get a whole bunch of lemon wedges and the first person to finish eating two whole lemons worth wins.  Of course, everyone has to finish the lemons, whether they win or not, but the winner gets to start in the next game.  And the loser has to wear princess clothes on the flight home.  Needless to say, I won.  They yanked me out of the game after about thirty seconds, but, hey!  I got to start!

Analysis:

To Max, this initiation rite meant not only that he was a part of the team, but also that he had a chance at contributing.  They are rewarding whichever freshman tries the hardest in this ritual by allowing them to start in a game, which is an honor.  Normally, only the best players get to start a game.

Mishaps at Sea

Informant:

I collected this from Amy Gebert, 19, who heard it from her sailing instructor, Captain Lars Harding, during a sailing class here at USC.  Amy is self identified Caucasian and is a Political Science major at USC.

Text:

So, this is pretty much what he said.  Now, it’s not necessarily good to not use technology altogether either though.  See, I knew this one guy, and he was a pretty experienced sailor and all that, but he refused to use any kind of technology in his boat.  No motor, no radio, no GPS, not even flares, no nothing!  So he goes out one day, sailing to Catalina, which is a pretty easy voyage out of L.A.  But as he’s going, his mast breaks.  I mean, just snaps in half.  And now he’s left with no working sails, no motor, and no radio.  So he tries waving to people passing by, to the fairies, but you know what they thought.  They thought he was just waving at them as they were passing by, like to say have a nice day or so.  So no one actually stops to help him.  Well, as this is going on, his boat starts to drift in the cannel, and pretty soon he is pretty darn far from most traffic to and from Catalina.  Turns out, this guy drifts for four months, four months I tell you!  Before someone finally found him.  I mean, his family thought he was dead, and then some container ship spotted him floating along and picked him up.  Course, he was completely haggard and delirious by then, beard out to here [points to stomach] and wild hair and all that.  You know how he survived? Well, he took the sail, what was left of it at least, and used it to catch rain water, although that stuff is still pretty salty.  And then, cause these seagulls would come and land on the deck, he would wait right under the deck with this big old paddle, and wait there until a seagull would hold still and when it was least expecting it, he would jump out and WHAM! [reenacts jumping and slapping paddle] hit the seagull with the paddle and kill it.  But he didn’t have fire, so he was basically living off of salt water and raw seagulls for four months until they found him.  And that stuff really fucks you up.  Anyways, it’s a good idea, even if you don’t have a motor, to at least keep a radio with you and some extra batteries.  You never know when you’ll need it.

Analysis:

This story is a warning to always bring safety equipment when sailing.  The story may or may not be true, though there is some slight possibility that it is real.  Nonetheless, it uses this unfortunate man’s experience as a warning not to follow his example.  The active participation in the tale, through reenactments and hand gestures, helps make the story more memorable and impactful.  To Amy, this story was particularly significant because it gave her motivation to study and learn how to use the instruments needed for sailing. Interestingly, this story is relatively common in several fishing communities around the pacific and variants have appeared in the news several times.  The story always follows the same pattern: a few people(three or less) are on a boat that drifts out to sea and they must survive for several months on rain water and raw sea gulls until they are miraculously rescued by a passing, larger ship with only a few more days to live.

Sources:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/4798243.stm

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-396761/Men-eat-raw-seagull-month-sea-ordeal.html

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/more-news/teens-rescued-after-50-days-in-the-pacific/story-e6frf7lf-1225961104064

 

Smartest Man in the World

Informant:

This joke was provided by Monique Warren, 20.  She considers herself “black” and is a student at the University of Southern California, studying Environmental Engineering.  Monique learned this joke from one of her roommates.  I collected it from her during a conversation in my apartment, but she most recently shared this joke at dinner with several friends from an engineering class.

Text:

Okay.  So, Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, a kid are all in an airplane when the pilot comes out and is like, “It looks like the plane is gonna crash.” And then he’s like, “But we only have three parachutes and there’s four of us.”  So Hillary stands up, grabs one of the parachutes, and says, “I’m the most powerful woman in the world.  The world needs me.”  And so she like puts on the parachute and jumps out.  Then Bill Gates grabs a parachute and is like, “I’m the smartest man in the world.  The world needs me.”  And he jumps out too.  Then the pilot turns the kid and says, “I’ve had a good life.  You take the third parachute.”  And the kid’s like, “That’s okay.  The smartest man in the world just took my backpack.”

Analysis:

This joke seems to make a comment on people who presume that the world needs them due to this quality or that.  While many variations exist, it is interesting that one of the characters is Hillary Clinton.  In many other cases, the cast is all male.  Consequently, this joke is in part making a statement about power-hungry women.  Also, during the Bush administration, George W. Bush took one of the parachutes in many cases.  Perhaps, due to the racial sensitivities attached to Obama, it is safer to use Hillary instead.  In addition, this joke has some 1% undertones to it, since the person who took the wrong parachute was Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world.  In his case, his wealth did not save him.

Sources:

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/compjokes/smartestman.shtml

http://www.laughparty.com/funnyjoke/Parachute/502/

http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=CHB2V&Funny_Jokes=Parachutes

http://speakeasy.jazzcorner.com/speakeasy/showthread.php?t=20453

http://wheelchairquiz.com/george-bush-jokes.htm

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070612140604AAJvwtp

http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/airplane_crash