Author Archives: Robbie Maletis

Recipe – Poland

Potato and Cheese Pierogi

1 tablespoon grated onion

2 tablespoons butter

2 cups mashed potatoes

1 cup cottage cheese

Salt and pepper

Jack’s family has been making this potato and cheese recipe since he was just a child.  While Jack is only part Polish his mother, Mary Ann has a much stronger connection to her cultural roots.  Although she was born in the US her parents were the first of their family to travel to America and continued many of their Polish traditions.  Mary Ann loves to cook traditional Polish food because it reminds here of her parents and child.  Unfortunately her husband Terry and son Jack are not fans of many traditional Polish recipes, except for the potato and cheese Pierogi.  In the Ward household it has almost become their own tradition that Mary Ann will make Pierogi for Terry and Jack every Saturday and Sunday during college and pro football season.  While Jack says he still eats the polish recipe all the time his father is trying to cut back on weight and eating a recipe made of butter and cheese is not always the healthiest option.

While this may not be the traditional kind of cultural food for a family to eat, it has a lot of meaning to the Wards.  This food not only allows Mary Ann to connect back to her Polish roots but it is something that the entire family shares in common.  It has almost become a family event as the mother in the household prepares the food for the entire family to share over watching football.

Horror Story

“One night a girl was babysitting at her neighbors house.  After putting the kids asleep the girl went down stairs to clean up the dishes from dinner.  After the babysitter finished cleaning up the kitchen she went into the family room and turned on the TV.  Right before sitting down the girls remembers that she had left her cell phone in the upstairs bathroom while she was making sure the kids brushed their teeth.  The girl goes up stairs and grabs her phone.  As she is heading back down the upstairs hallway towards the stairs she notices a weird clown statue.  As she gets closer to the clown she wonders why the family would want a four-foot clown stature for their hallway.  Scared and creeped out by the clown the girl runs down the stairs back to the living room and turns the T.V. back on.  Waiting for the parents to come home the girl falls asleep in her chair but is woken up by the ring of the phone.  Looking at the caller id she sees that it’s the parents and answers.  The mother is on the phone and apologizes for being late but says that the will be home in the next fifteen minutes.  In a joking voice the babysitter responds, ‘No problem I’ll just be watching T.V. as far away from that scary clown statue as possible’.   In a confused voice the mother says, ‘What clown’.  Then the babysitter says, ’You know the one in the upstairs hallway that almost looks like an actual clown’.  Now in a concerned voice the mother replies, ’We don’t have a clown statue’. The girls heart starts beating and she begins to panic, ‘Then what the fuck is that thing up there?’.  The mother tells the girl that they will be home in five minutes and to just wait down stairs for them to return.  The mother and father come home to the babysitter terrified and bawling.  Together the three of them go up the stairs to check on the children.  After seeing that nothing had happen with the kids the babysitter takes the parents to the place where she had seen the clown but nothing was there.  The go down stairs and turn on the T.V. as everyone is still a little confused about this situation.  On the news channel an alert comes up warning people that there was a midget who had escaped from the local prison and he was breaking into houses wearing a clown outfit.”

I was told this story by my brother, Peter, who had heard it at high school from another girl in his class.  Talking to him about the story I found out that Peter had heard several versions of this horror story from his friends with each one containing a slight variation.   Peter also talked about how some of the guys in his class would use it to “scare” girls as if it were some type of flirting.  While his friends and him are still unable to make this work when it comes to talking to the girls in their class he did say it is a popular story around the school.  I am not sure if this incident with a fugitive clown every actually took place but it does make for an interesting story.  Looking at this as a piece of folklore it is easily understood that this story has taken on a life of its own and there is no true original version.

Ghost Story

“We moved into the house downtown a few years ago.  Before we bought the house the realtor had told us that the previous residents had moved because they claimed a ghosts lived in the house.  This was a concern to me because I didn’t want to move into a haunted house, but my husband, Jeff, convinced me that there was nothing to be worried about.  So, a few months later the family had moved into the house and for the first few weeks they hadn’t experienced anything along the lines of a ghost.  After the family was completely unpacked they began taking their extra storage boxes up to the attic.  It was in the attic that I found an open window.  Thinking nothing of it I closed the window and went on with unpacking the boxes.  The next day I had another load of boxes that I wanted to take to the attic for storage.  After climbing up the stairs I noticed a cool breeze and realized that the window was wide open again.  Suspicious of who was opening the window I closed it again and locked the attic door shut.  The next day I unlocked the attic door to put a box away and for the third straight day the window was open.  This time I noticed a hand print on the glass, but it was very small, as if it were a child’s.  Disturbed by all of this, I decided to call the previous owners of the house and ask them about the supposed ghost.  What I learned from the phone call was very interesting.  Not only had the previous couple had the same experience with the open window, but they also knew something about the houses history that I did not.  The previous owner went on to teller me about a woman who lived in the house right after it was built.   They had found out that the first owner of the house would perform abortions in her attic.  This was back in the day when abortions were illegal, so people would go to doctors who did not practice but worked out of their homes.  I believe that the ghost in the attic was one of the small babies who was aborted in that house long ago.  I immediately started packing up the house and refused to stay there ever again.”

This was one of the most realistic ghost stories I have ever heard in my entire life.  You could tell in Betsy’s body language and voice that she was still very uneasy about what she had experienced in that house.  As a listener the uncomfortable feeling you got when listening to her made the story feel much more real.  It was almost as if I though a ghost was going to pop up behind me while she was telling the story.  That being said I still do not believe in ghost and would have to go to the house to experience the story for myself.

Contemporary Legend

My father and I were going through a drive through for In-N-Out burger the other day and it sparked a conversation about fast food restaurants.  Across the street there was a Kentucky Fried Chicken, and as my dad saw it he began to tell me a story about how they produce their so-called “real chicken meat”.

While my father was not very sure about all of the details he said that a co-worker of his had told him that KFC produces all of the chicken they use in big laboratories.  Each one is lined with thousands of chickens, which are locked up in cages and kept alive by test tubes that give them nutrients.  This irregular environment causes the chickens to grown up with no feathers, beaks, or even feet.  To save money KFC has found a way to shrink the bones of the chickens allowing them to get more meat form each slaughter chicken.  Some say the government has stepped up and put a stop to this problem, but other say nothing has happened.

I do not know where this information originated from, but it cannot be good publicity for KFC.  While I am not sure if I believe this story or not it is enough to keep me away from every going to their restaurant.  Doing some more research on this topic another fact came to light.  In recent history Kentucky Fried Chicken has changed its name to KFC.  While this seems like a minor problem many say that when the government got involved with the chicken laboratories they only demand that the word Chicken not be mentioned in the name of the restaurant.

This urban legend plays along with the current connotation that fast food restaurants are disgusting, and bad for your health.  With the popularity of KFC and Americans love of gossip this rumor has spread around the country like wild fire.

Wedding Tradition

In late April I traveled back home to see my cousin, Alison, get married.  While all weddings are very similar there is one ritual that always takes places involving the bride.  The ritual consists of all the single women gather in an open area with their arms up in the air.  At this time the bride turns around, closes her eyes, and throws a bouquet of flowers into the crowd of woman.  The single lady that ends up catching the bouquet is suppose to be the next in line to get married.

While I have witnessed this at every single wedding I have ever been to, I have never known how it came about.  When you analyze this ritual more closely you can see many subtle hints to its meaning.

It is no secret that on their wedding night a bride and groom are suppose to “physically” connect for the first time.  Using older terminology this would be the same as deflowering the bride.  Taking a look back at the wedding ritual we see the bride throw here flowers away, and becoming deflowered, symbolizing her status as a newly married woman.  The girl that catches the flowers, and is now in possession of them, becomes next in line to be deflowered, which can only happen if she is married.

This common ritual has been happening at weddings for a very long time as it’s meaning relates to ideals from past generations.  While many people’s attitudes towards a couple’s premarital wedding relationship have changed this ritual has found a way to live on.  I feel the reason for this is that over time it has lost it meaning to most people and is not just a common ritual for brides because it is entertaining.