Author Archives: Yash Gupta

Joota Chupai – Shoe Stealing

ZN describes a prank/game that is commonly played at weddings in their culture. They are a second generation immigrant from Pakistan who lives in the Bay Area. Their family is Muslim.

ZN.) So, when a couple gets married – a bride and groom – the bride’s family, usually like the younger siblings or cousins of the bride, will steal the groom’s shoes and then they’ll go hide them somewhere and the groom’s family has to try and get the shoes, but they never do. And then the groom has to buy the shoes back from the bride’s family because they’re like, ‘oh you’re taking away or our sister or cousin,’ or whatever. It’s like, ‘we’re taking your shoes’ and then the groom is like, ‘I’ll pay you a lot of money for the shoes.’ So, then It’s like a huge, like, bargaining thing and the groom will be like, ‘Oh how about like $200’ and then the bride’s family will go like, ‘No we want $1000.’ The groom will be like, ‘No, but I’m broke. I won’t have any money to pay for my new wife’s food,’ and they’re like, ‘no give us more money.’ Anyway, so then they usually settle on, like, $500 or something, and then with our family, the entire family the of the bride will go to like Ihop after the wedding and we’ll spend it all on Ihop, like, pancakes and hot chocolate

Me.) Where do you usually see this? Is it your family specifically or have you seen any version of this at other weddings for the shoe stealing?

ZN.) I don’t know if it’s a South Asian, or maybe just Muslim Pakistani, thing but the shoe stealing is like a common thing.

This seems to be a practice of the game Joota Chupai, literally translating to ‘Shoe Hiding’. This wedding tradition is most often observed by Desi groups (south Asians) in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and other surrounding countries. In this game the bride’s family will steal the groom’s shoes, which in Hindu culture, they must have to leave or enter the wedding venue. The groom’s family will try to find the shoes to get them back to the groom, usually to no avail, and then the bride’s family will demand money to return the shoes to the groom. This tradition allows the two families to have some fun during long wedding ceremonies and brings them closer together through competition. Even though the tradition seems to stem from Hinduism, it seems that Muslims from the surrounding regions picked up the tradition as well, showing cultural mixing within the area despite religious tensions. JK, another South Asian individual hailing from Gujarat, India had this to say about the game:

JK.) It’s played all over India. Everyone does it at weddings, so it’s not a Hindu or Muslim thing, it’s everyone.

Kangaroo Court

NM was a Boy Scout throughout their childhood, and this game came from their trips.

NM.) On our Catalina hike, because it was a 3-day weekend, we would do this game called kangaroo court where you would accuse other scouts of, like, some ridiculous thing like, “This dude is a capybara in disguise and is secretly plotting to take over the world!” Then, if you were accused, you’d have to get someone to be your lawyer and they would have to defend you. They would bring up different things you did during the day. People would set this up during the hike and make people say things that they would bring up during kangaroo court.

The boy scouts have many games, pranks, and traditions, and this seems to be one of them. This sits somewhere between a prank and a game because people would set up verbal traps that they would later spring on their defendant. By having a ‘lawyer’ defend the defendant, this game becomes community fun instead of direct opposition because that ‘lawyer’ would have to remember their experiences with the ‘defendant’

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

Content Warning: Discussion of potentially triggering topics including, but not limited to, sexual assault.

ZN describes an acronym convention within the fanfiction community. This convention warns readers that there is content that may be triggering or that could be deemed incredibly offensive that is being used for sexual intent within a work of written fan-fiction. These topics could include non-consensual sex, underage sexual conduct, and more.

ZN.) So there’s something called Dead Dove, Do Not Eat, or DDDNE which is a tag that people will put on AO3 (the Fanfiction website Archive of Our Own) fanfiction posts that means that there’s some triggering content or potentially triggering content. It’s usually sexual in nature, so it’s like non-consensual sex or like underage stuff or like bestiality or something like that. It’s written in a way that it’s meant to be pornographic and like you’re meant to be turned on by it, so it’s kind of a trigger warning. But, it’s different than a trigger warning because trigger warnings will usually be used like “We deal with this really heavy topic in a way that’s trying to be respectful but you may get triggered by it.” Dead dove do not eat is specifically for like sexual assault scenes that are written like pornography.

This is an acronym that a community decided to use colloquially to describe content that would be very taboo for most readers. It is a piece of folk speech used by those that frequent fanfiction websites and communities. It’s not dissimilar to acronyms used in other communities to refer to inappropriate content, but in contrast its more used as a tag than to replace the actual inappropriate content. It’s interesting that it’s both used to keep users that may dissent to reading this content away from the content but also to attract users that may enjoy this type of writing. While this type of writing existed before the internet, now it is very accessible to whoever is browsing, so it’s very important that the community has a way to distinguish what they are okay with reading before being exposed to potentially harmful content.