Tag Archives: greek life

Big Sis Night

 My informant, CS told me about her experience as a “big sis” to her guy-friend Josh’s little in a fraternity on USC’s campus.  Within USC’s Greek system, members of fraternities get a “big bro” as well as a “big sis.”  The big bro usually picks one of his good girl-friends to be his little’s “big sis.”  Big sisses are revealed on one night during the semester.  From my understanding, it is typical for big sisses to get their little bro very drunk and dress him up in a humiliating costume for part of the night.

CS detailed her experience as a big sis.

It was just me and KK [her friend].  So we walked over to the house together.  So I get him there.  And I’m really bad at the “drink, drink, drink” stuff.  I got there just in time to put him in a room. And then Josh’s lights were off. And then we took off the blindfold and I had candy and cupcakes or something.  

We didn’t have any hard alcohol.  We just had beer. So we taped two beers to him. But then they were cold, so we put two towels around the beer before we taped them to his hands.  It was sad and weird!

The next year when Jacob, my little, got a little, he also got this very sweet guy.  And his big sis, Meghan, ended up doing the exact same thing. 

CS’s reaction to her big sis experience reveals the expectations of such an experience.  CS’s story suggests that a big sis should force her little bro drink heavily.  Yet CS did not make her little bro drink heavily.  Instead she gave him some beer and made sure he was comfortable while drinking it.

CS and Meghan’s experience suggests that big sis and little bro nights do not meet the expectations of most college students within Greek life at USC.

 

“Send it!”

“Okay, so in the snowboarding world, when, um, you’re about to, like—‘cause I was a competitive snowboarder, you know, and so we would hit, like, really big jumps or something and then, or like if the pipe was like really big that day, um, so usually it’s used with jumps that are like over like 25 feet, so no like it doesn’t have to be big [laughs of disbelief from other people in room], but usually they’ll be like 90 feet when people use this saying and it’s not like, it’s like a, um, we would be like, ‘Oh, like fucking send it!’ That means like ‘huck yourself,’ like ‘do like what you got’ or yeah, like spin whatever, do flips and so it’s like just like ‘give it your all’ type of deal and so yeah we would just use ‘sending it.’ ‘Cause then it’s like ain’t nothing comin’ back, ‘cause you’re sending it and you’re giving it your all and you’re gonna kill it.”

 

The informant was a 21-year-old USC student who grew up in competitive snowboarding and has dabbled in CrossFit and other workout programs. She has been in a prominent sorority on campus since coming to USC and goes out every night of the weekend, as well as some nights of the week. I live with the informant and the interview took place in my room during one of the lengthy conversations we often have. The informant has been known to use aspects of her athletic and workout life in social interactions and “Send it!” is no different. She went on to tell me that “So now I’ve started to integrate that into the Greek life culture and so if someone’s in a drinking game I’m like, ‘Dude, fucking send this game!’ and they’re like, ‘I’m gonna send it.’ (Interviewer says: “It’s not coming back!”) And then they drink a lot. Yeah, it’s not coming back. So then they just like drink a lot.”

 

This piece of folk speech was interesting to me because of the meaning behind something like “Send it!” The other people in the room and I got hooked on the idea that you would say it because “it wasn’t coming back.” In addition to this being about “giving it your all,” it seems like it’s about taking opportunities when you have them. It would make sense, then, that the informant would translate this phrase into other areas of her life, like the Greek life culture. It is easier to do wild things at a party when you have someone telling you it is the moment to do them. It is also interesting that it is primarily a way of encouraging someone else to do something. While it could come across as pretty aggressive to the uninitiated, those inside of snowboarding culture would know that it is a way of supporting one another and pushing each other to get better and try new things.

Delta Sigma Theta step/chant

The chant:

“Contrary, contrary, contrary to the story,

Everybody knows that this is Delta territory.

In 1913, a change was made,

And for a solid sisterhood, the foundation was laid.

Twenty-two women who were destined to lead

Founded the devastating, captivating—DST.

In Delta Sigma Theta Sorority,

Public service is our number one priority.

For royal red, and nine white pearls,

It takes a lot to be a—Delta girl.”

 

The informant, my mom, is from Tennessee working as a middle school Spanish teacher. She learned this sorority chant in college in the South from her sorority sisters while they were getting ready for a stepping competition. Stepping is a combination of claps, steps, and chants to a particular rhythm; this practice is popular among traditionally black Greek organizations. She told me that she learned a lot of chants while pledging Delta Sigma Theta, but she didn’t learn this one until later. These chants are usually learned directly from sorority sisters or fraternity brothers in these organizations, and many have roots as far back as the beginning of the 20th century when the organizations were founded. The chant serves primarily to tell Delta’s history and take pride in their organization, while carrying out impressive stepping as well. Thus, it is somewhat also the mythology upon which Delta Sigma Theta is founded, as it tells of its origins and identity.

Big/Little Process

Informant is a student at USC. Theatre major, girl, brunette, an older sister, a cat mother, a child of divorced parents, and a resident of multiple states – CA, OR, WA, TX.

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For Big/Little what we do is – I think a lot of sororities kind of do it the same, but for us at least – the Littles submit the name of five people they want to be their Bigs, and the Bigs submit five names of people they want to be their Littles.

First explain the concept of Big and Little.

In sororities, there’s a Big, and there’s a Little. And a Big is like their mentor. Throughout their time in college. And beyond. And it’s just kind of a closer relationship. So it’s like a mutual selection of who you want to be your Big and Little.  So that way you end up liking the person who is your Big or Little. And once it’s been decided, the Bigs are told who their Little is. And then they buy ‘em a bunch of gifts. And basically get rid of their entire bank account. On gifts. Lots and lots of gifts. The first day – there’s like three days of gifts, I think – the first day is Monday of that week, and we give them all of their favorite things, ‘cause they submit a little survey, so you know their favorite kind of candy, and their favorite stuffed animal kind of thing, y’know like cute little fun things. The second day is a delivery kit, for sending cute little presents and stuff between sororities and fraternities, like little gift bags, and tape, and tissue paper, and candy, and stuff like that. And you decorate the box all pretty with their name on it. And the third day is a blanket with their name on it, and the sorority letters on it. And it’s all comfy and cute and really expensive.

Do you have one of those?

I do. I do. My little – I didn’t put her name on it, ‘cause it was really expensive, but I put the letters on it. But yeah. And then I guess on Thursday or Friday – maybe I have the days mixed up – but on the fourth day there’s like this big “reveal.” You have gotten clues all throughout the week of who your Big is and everything, and they’re really bad clues – usually they’re lies. I don’t lie, but mine are really vague clues, like my first pet was a fish named Rainbow. No one knows these things. And then at the end of the week you have reveal, where they have to follow this incredibly difficult scavenger hunt kinda trail thing, in order to find the final clue, and their costume, and then they find a gigantic box related to their costume, and inside the box is their Big! They pop out and surprise them and then people cry and scream – in a happy way, because they’re excited. And a little bit scared there’s a person in the box. It’s very fun.

How elaborate are the scavenger hunts? Is there a standard format for them?

It’s not really a scavenger hunt scavenger hunt, it’s kinda like a string maze kinda thing. But we don’t tell them what it’s going to be, but in actuality it’s a string maze. And they have to follow their string to their costume

Costume for…

To find their Big! Their big is in a matching costume. And the box corresponds to it sort-of-not-really. It just says their name on it. Cause you get all dressed up in a matching costume and then you go out and do something fun, like go out to dinner or go roller skating or something. In your little matching outfits. It’s very sorority. And usually they’re pretty standard costumes. But this year we had someone who was a monkey and a banana. That was really fun.

Does the Big pick the costume?

Yes. But it’s usually something to do with the Little’s likes. For my Big and Little, I love pandas. And my Big dressed us up as pandas. And then for my Little – she really loves travels, so I dressed us up as French people. So – corresponding to what they would like.

When you went through the process of finding out who your Big was, how did you feel about it?

It was really exciting. But a little bit confusing ‘cause everyone was like “Oh I totally know who my Big is!” And I just had no clue. ‘Cause the clues were really horrible. And they just threw me off. But it was very fun and exciting.

Did you like all the gifts?

I did! She spared no expense, and I got t-shirts and nail polish and headbands and stuff like that. Magazines, candy. She baked me brownies. Peanut butter brownies. So I baked my Little either cookies or brownies, I don’t remember.

Like your Big did for you!

Do you do things outside of this particular week – do you have Big/Little time?

Basically yes. Last night we were eating dinner together, just at the house, and then she was like “Well, I don’t have anything to do right now, do you want to go to Goodwill? And so we went shopping at Goodwill and bought a ton of stuff we didn’t need. It was fun. And we do bi-weekly fro-yo runs, and just as often as we can we get ice cream and fro-yo. And we’re gonna live together next year. It’s very exciting. She’s a wonderful person. Littles are awesome.

Do you ever do stuff with all of you together – grand-Big, grand-Little?

We’ve got this gigantic family tree, and we have this little Facebook group for it too, so it’s not just like my Big, it’s also up to her great-grandbig who is the head of our family, so it’s huge. We try to plan things together, but there’s so many of us that no one shows up. So we’re trying to plan smaller things, just with my grandbig and everything

Your individual line?

Yeah. So we haven’t gotten much done yet, just because she’s graduating this year so she has to finish things up. But then we’re gonna try and all hang out.

But you try. And you keep a family tree.

We do. It’s very big, it’s very elaborate, it’s very cool.

Do people have multiple Littles?

Mhmm. That’s why our tree’s so big. There’s two people with three Littles in it. And my Big has two Littles, including me. So the tree just keeps expanding. But then there’s one little line over here when it only has one Little per person, but then everyone else is like khrrr. How many Littles do you want today?

 

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I am also part of a greek organization on campus, and we have a similar practice. Bigs and Littles get matched up by preference, there is a week where the Littles get clues, and there is a reveal at the end. The acts on each day and the process of the reveal are different. That is to be expected from a different community/group of people, to have their own spin on the process. Multiplicity and variation, y’all.

The big/little practice aids in community-building within a house, since often these organizations have more members than the small pack humans like to align themselves with. This prevents anyone from getting lost in the fray so no one gets left alone in the dirt.

Big/Little Week

It’s a tradition in every sorority for each girl to get a big sister and a little sister. Getting a big and a little is an exciting part of being a new member and helps to bring you closer to girls in the house. New members always excitedly await the day when they finally meet their Big and Bigs cannot wait to get their Littles. In my informant’s sorority, the week-long reveal process involves lots of crafting and spoiling the Little with gifts, but the final reveal and adding a Little to the sorority family is always exciting.

 

My informant described Big/Little week as a crazy process. It starts the week before when both the new members and the actives who are intending to take a Little submit their requests. The sisters are paired based on mutual selection and on the Friday before Big/Little reveal, the Bigs find out their Little. In my informant’s sorority, Big/Little week officially starts at Monday Night Dinner (the weekly dinner that precedes the sorority’s chapter meetings). Bigs tape up colorful posters for their Littles and leave a small gift with a clue about who they might be. On the second, third, and fourth day of Big/Little week, Bigs leave little scavenger hunt clues around the sorority house for their new Littles to find a gift and another hint about their Big’s identity. Each day the gifts are more elaborate and the scavenger hunt is longer. On the night of Big/Little reveals, Bigs leave pajamas for their Littles to change into before the Littles embark on one last scavenger hunt to find their Bigs. Bigs (and the rest of their sorority family, Grand Bigs and Great Grand Bigs) hide in one of the bedrooms until their Little finally appears. There is lots of screaming and many pictures are taken. The whole sorority takes a picture together on the lawn and then sorority families leave to do something fun with their new Little. Usually this is something like going out to dinner, bowling, a movie, or some other activity of the Big’s choice. Even if the girls don’t get the Big they wanted originally, everyone ends up happy.

 

This is an important tradition in my informant’s sorority because it helps the new members feel more connected and helps to give each sister a smaller community within the larger sorority community. Bigs serve as mentors of sorts and try to help Littles with any difficulties they may have during the new member process. Bigs are also an instrumental part of the initiation ceremony.