Author Archives: Kelsey Kelliher

We Hate to See You Go, Goodbye Song

My informant AS shared with me a goodbye song:

 

We’re sorry you’re going away

We wish that you could stay

Our prayers will be with you

We really will miss you

We’re sorry you’re going away

 

We hate to see you go,

We hate to see you go,

We hope to heck you never come back,

We hate to see you go

 

AS explained, “The story is we moved from Charlotte, North Carolina to Seattle, Washington. We drove across the country in June of 1998. And uh, maybe July. And that first two years that we lived in Seattle literally every one of my parents—all of our family friends visited from the East Coast to Seattle. And we always gave them the same exact tour. The number of times that I had to go to Pike Place Market and the Ballard Locks.  And then we always sang that to them when they left.”

I asked AS how or where he learned the song? “Just my parents…I don’t know.  Who can say? I mean I was six or seven so I wasn’t really thinking of asking these hard hitters.”

AS learned the song from his parents.  I talked to his father about the song.  He explained that he had learned the song from his aunt and uncle when he was growing up in New Jersey.  AS mentioned that the line “our prayers will be with you” was weird to him as his family is not religious.  But his great uncle did go to a Christian high school on Long Island, so perhaps this song comes out of his uncle’s experience there.

This song was casual and comedic to AS and his family.  Interestingly, the line “we hope to heck you never come back” is the fastest line when singing the song.  I even had trouble understanding that lyric the first time AS sang the song.  It’s almost as if AS and his family were playing a little joke on their visitors.  Though, it’s not meant to be taken to heart.

Each time AS and his family performed the song, it was after another family had spent a weekend with his family, touring the city, sharing meals, etc–doing things together as families.  So it is fitting that AS and his family perform a sort of ritual goodbye to cap off a weekend of ritualized touring.

This song is important to AS because it reminds him of a time when he, his brother, sister, mom and dad were all under one roof. It was before anyone went off to college or got married.  AS explained, “It was when we were the most keyed into the five of us being a family.”

 

Nightly Ritual for the Spirits

My informant LK’s grandmother believed in good and bad spirits.  In every house she lived in, she always felt a presence of spirits.  LK explained that his grandmother was born in Kansas and grew up in Chicago.  “That’s a story too because some people say she was born in Mexico and brought over.  And so we never know.  But she was a U.S. Citizen, so she had to be born in the U.S., I imagine.”

LK’s grandmother was born into a family of Mexican Americans, or quite possibly Mexicans.  LK explained that his grandmother’s mother knew how to work certain spells and certain magic.  “She could do something and make it not walk for a day…So you never wanted to make her angry.”  Clearly, spirits were a part of LK’s grandmother’s culture when growing up.

Therefore it is no surprise that LK’s grandmother regarded the spirits all through her life.

LK explained, “Every night she would leave a glass of water for the spirits–for the thirsty spirits.  And every night she would say prayers for her spirits.  When she prayed to them, she’d light a candle for the spirits and her guardian angels. She had two guardian angels: one was a Hindu with is hands folded and the other was a black woman.”  When I asked if the water was left out to appease the angry spirits and make them more comfortable, LK explained that the water and prayers were for the good spirits.

It seems as if LK’s grandmother equated good spirits with guardian angels.  Perhaps her guardian angels were African American and Hindu because both come from a tradition rich in spiritual beliefs.  Lighting a candle for the spirits probably comes from LK’s grandmother’s Catholic roots, as lighting a candle for someone after praying for them is a common practice in Catholic Churches.  Her practices are perhaps indicative of Catholic culture among Mexicans–Catholicism is not followed the the T.  Rather, the religion of LK’s grandmother seems to be a spiritual belief that melds Hindu, African American, and Catholic beliefs and practices together.

The culture that my informant’s grandmother grew up in was present in LK’s life.  Consequently, he believes in the spirit world.  LK’s grandmother’s beliefs persist in LK’s own life.

Pranks in Hospital

My mother and informant, KK, meets up with her friends from high school about once a month.  They call themselves “club.”  I was home when KK hosted “club” and listened to her and her friends, several of whom are nurses, swap stories about their shifts when working in a hospital.

KK and her friends were working the night shift in the hospital on the oncology floor.  It was probably 1993.

KK and her friends decided they wanted to entertain one of their patients.  Their patient was an 18 year old man hospitalized with leukemia.  KK said, “We wanted to make him happy.”   KK explained that the patient was always up late because his friends would come visit him late at night.

In order to cheer him up, KK and her friends stuffed their chests with pillows, barged into his room, and sang Jimmy Soul’s “If You Wanna Be Happy” and Cher’s “The Shoop Shoop Song (It’s in His Kiss).”  They called themselves “The Boobettes.”  “And of course he laughed like crazy.  He loved it,” KK said.

KK and her friend’s prank reveals what nurses do that lies outside of their job description.  Rather than being a rite of passage, her skit demonstrates a kind of compassion that often seems to accompany nurses.

Making Tamales–No Boys Allowed

LK explained that his grandmother and great grandmother would make tamales routinely at his great grandmother’s house.  His grandmother, great grandmother, aunts and mom would sit around the table and make tamales while telling stories.

While this tamale-making is a tradition in and of itself, LK shared a superstition present during the cooking.  LK explained that men were not allowed in the kitchen.  If there were men helping out in the kitchen or even simply standing in the kitchen, the women believed the tamales would burn and therefore be ruined.

LK’s family are Mexican Americans who were for the most part born in America.  LK’s grandmother and great grandmother were very superstitious women.  Therefore, it is not out of the ordinary for them to have superstitions regarding time spent in the kitchen.

Perhaps this superstition developed because the men would distract the women if they were in the kitchen and the tamales would actually burn–a kind of self fulfilling prophecy.  Or perhaps this superstition developed because the kitchen was a woman’s territory in Mexican American culture.  Their belief may have been a mechanism to keep the men off the women’s turf.

613 Seeds in a Pomegranate

When collecting folklore from my friends, I asked, “Jodie, what d’ya got?”

My informant Jodie told me that she believes that there are 613 seeds in a pomegranate.  When I asked her where this came from, Jodie told me that it’s a Jewish belief.  Still not understanding the connection between Jews and the number 613, Jodie explained that there are 613 commandments in the Jewish Bible.  I was under the impression that there were only 10 Commandments given to Moses, but contrary to my belief there are 613 commandments within the Jewish tradition.

Jodie learned this in Jewish day school in her youth.  I asked if this belief had any significance.  Do you eat pomegranate on any special occasions? Any special dishes with pomegranate?  She explained that its sometimes served on high holidays.  However, she does not celebrate the high holiday where the pomegranate is most popular, Tu B’Shvat.  This holiday is known as the New Year for the Trees and eating fresh fruit is a custom on this holiday.

I asked Jodie if she had ever counted all of the seeds of the pomegranate.  She said that she did in elementary school, but how can you trust elementary school students to count that high?

The fact that Jodie and her classmates counted the number of seeds in the pomegranate demonstrates that this belief is present within the Jewish community.