Tag Archives: frog

The Blowjob Frog

The source was told the following joke by an Irishman, while he was on a family vacation in Martinique in the Caribbean. He believes it has origins in Ireland. He generally only tells this joke when he’s in a group of other men, he would only tell it in the company of women if multiple people were sharing dirty jokes.

The Blowjob Frog

A wife is out looking for an anniversary present for her husband. She’s walking by various stores looking in shop windows for something he’s really going to like, but she’s having trouble finding anything, right? But then she walks past a pet shop, and there’s a sign out front that says: ‘Blowjob Frogs, 5$’.

So she goes into the shop, and says to the guy who runs it, “Blowjob Frogs?” And he says, “Blowjob Frogs”. She asks what they do, and he tells her its pretty self explanatory, right? They give blowjobs. So she thinks its funny and that her husband will like it, so she buys it for him.

That night the husband and wife have a lovely, romantic dinner at their home. And they exchange presents. He opens his and he’s surprised. “A frog?” he asks, “A blowjob frog” she replies. They laugh, and put the frog in a box with some water so it’ll be alright until they figure out what to do with it in the morning. And they spend a passionate night together in the bedroom, best sex they’ve had in years.

She wakes up in the middle of the night, and she sees that the bed is empty, the husband’s gone, right? Then she hears the clattering of pots and pans in the kitchen. So she gets up to investigate, and when she gets into the kitchen, she finds her husband in there, with the blowjob frog on the counter.

So she says, “What are you doing in here?”

And then he says, “If I can teach this frog how to cook, your ass is outta here!”

 

This joke is funny on several levels. First it plays on the common husband/wife stereotypes, and implies that a man really only keeps a woman around for home cooked meals and blowjobs. Also, bestiality is definitely a major taboo, and freaks a lot of people out, so the joke allows people to discuss it. It would also make sense if the joke really does have Irish origins, because it might be more acceptable there than in America, which still tends to be fairly Puritan, and uncomfortable with sex.

청개구리 (The Green Frog) — Korean Folk Tale

My informant told me about a story he had heard in Korea, told to him by a teacher when he was in elementary school:

“Once, there was a frog. A green frog, I guess, or–never mind, it doesn’t really matter. Just a frog. Uh, this frog was really disobedient and never listened to his mom. So if she told him to go one path, he’d go on the other one, and if she told him to shower he wouldn’t, and stuff like that. He just, like, does the opposite of whatever she says. A really mean frog kid. Anyway, so the mom is on her deathbed or something, and she thinks like, because he’s always done the opposite of whatever she says, she tells him to bury her in the ground so that he’ll take the opposite and bury her in the ocean, you know? She actually really wants to be thrown in the ocean, but she tells him the opposite. And so she dies, but uh, the frog kid feels guilty for all the crap’s he done in the past and chooses that moment of her death to decide to do exactly as she says. Which uh, sucks, obviously. So he buries her in the ground thinking he’s finally done the right thing when he’s making this huge mistake that’ll make her spirit or soul or whatever suffer forever. [Silence] And that’s supposed to be why when it rains, the frogs cry. Like, the rain reminds them of the ocean which reminds them of the mother that never got buried where she wanted to be. And they get sad, and they cry.”

My informant said that it was most likely a story disseminated to Korean children in order to instill obedience, to parents and elders at a young age. The tying of the story to the frogs’ crying is mainly a way to connect it to reality and make it seem more believable. That the wayward actions of one frog had caused such collective sadness in the entire frog community also seems to imply that a child’s disobedience to his or her parents is a massive enough act of disrespect that it can tear a hole in the fabric of society. Korean children, my informant said, are thus educated from a young age to respect not just their parents, but all of their elders, through this and other stories.

I found it interesting that this particular story, the one that this informant remembered, was one that had used sentiment and empathy to convey its message to its audience. My informant said that he had heard many stories too, of children being kidnapped by monsters in the night if they disobeyed their parents, but that “The Green Frog” was always the one that stuck with him. Instead of using intimidation and fright tactics, this folk tale trusts in a children’s love for their parents, and evokes its moral only indirectly, implying, you wouldn’t want to make your parents sad, would you? This was probably the reason why, my informant said, that this folk tale has always been one of the ones he has remembered over the years.

Folk Song – American

The informant learned the following folk song, called “Froggy Went a-Courtin,’” at “Rendezvous . . . a campout. [He] learned it at a campout from several other people who were singing it ’round a fire playing guitar and a banjo.” The lyrics are as follows:

Froggy went a-courtin’ and a-he did ride, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Froggy went a-courtin’ and a-he did ride, mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Froggy went a courtin’ and a-he did ride,
Sword and a pistol by his side, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Froggy went down to Miss Mousie’s house, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Froggy went down to Miss Mousie’s house, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Froggy went down to Miss Mousie’s house,
Wanted to marry that cute little mouse, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Sat Miss Mousie down on his knee, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Sat Miss Mousie down on his knee, uh-huh, uh-huh
Sat Miss Mousie down on his knee,
Said Miss Mousie, would you marry me, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Not without Uncle Rat’s consent, uh-huh, uh-huh
Not without Uncle Rat’s consent, uh-huh, uh-huh
Not without Uncle Rat’s consent,
She would not marry the President, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Here is a sound clip of the informant singing the song: Froggy Went a-Courtin’

The informant says that the only place he’s ever performed the song or heard it performed is at campouts. His opinion of the song is that “it’s a great little song. It’s great for a singalong; it’s very easy to pick up.”

The song is rather repetitive and, according to the informant, has many more verses, so it does seem like the type of song that anyone could pick up, sing until he or she got tired of it, and then make up his or her own verses. My guess would be that the lyrics are quite flexible. The song is listed in the songbook 500 Best-loved Song Lyrics with slighty different phrasing as an English folk song (103) and there is actually a musical of the same name by Stanley Werner based on the song. The song is also interesting as a tale; it appears to promote the traditional value of female obedience.

Sources:

Herder, Ronald. 500 Best-loved Song Lyrics. Mineola, NY: Dover, 1998.

Werner, Stanley. Froggie Went A’Courtin.’ Woodstock, Illinois: Dramatic Publishing, 1970.