Tag Archives: kissing

Kissing the Tanakh if it Falls and the Torah

Main Content:

M: Me, I: Informant

I: Oh so um I don’t know if this is like a codified thing, but you can’t like… so you have like the Tanakh, which is like the mini like it’s like your prayer Bible um and like so if you if you, if the Tanakh touches the floor you have to like kiss it. You are like, it’s like not supposed to touch the floor.

M: Oh, okay

I: Um, yeah. And I think that comes form like so you are not supposed to touch the Torah and that’s not supposed to fall on the floor either, but that’s because it’s like made out of parchment that’s been used for hundreds of years and it’s like you know, brittle and fragile and stuff.

M: Uh-hm (yes)

I: Uh I think that sort uh like thought process has gone into like like, the mini Bibles. Like can’t hurt. It’s also like disrespecting G-d and stuff because it’s on the floor and whatever.

M: yeah

I: um so yeah there’s that

M: Is that like bad luck if let it touch the ground

I: Ehhhhh, it’s just like you know, like a bad thing

M: like a no-no

I: Yeah it’s a no-no cause like

M: It’s disrespectful

I: Yeah disrespectful. Cause like there’s also like, you know, at the bar and bat mitzvahs like they carry the Torah around and people like they touch their Bibles to it and they kiss their Bibles. Like you are supposed to kiss the Torah

M: Uh-huh (yes)

I: So like that’s why you are supposed to kiss it, as a sign of respect

M: Gotcha

I: Yeah

M: And that’s if you drop it, like if it touches the floor

I: Yeah, and when the Torah comes around you kiss it

M: Yeah

I: I guess that’s another thing. I think that’s another folklore thing.

…

I: I don’t think it’s codified as it walks around in the bat mitzvah ceremony or any of the ceremonies really.

M: yeah

I: It’s not just for bar and bat mitzvahs. Really we do it for like everything 

M: Oh, I did not know that

I: Yeah like a sign of respect and you want to be kissing G-d. You know. Love G-d.

Context: My informant learned to do this as a child watching those around her in the synagogue do it.

Analysis/Thoughts: I can see how these practices, kissing the Tanakh if you drop it on the floor and ‘kissing’ the Torah, flourished. While both of these practices are not codified in the Jewish religion, these are both fairly common practices in the synagogue. I think that these practices are easily considered customary as it supports ideals of Judaism that were already in place: such as respect to G-d, as dropping something on the floor can sometimes indicate a lack of caring and a lack of respect, the kiss corrects any possibility of this as it essentially says, “whoops! I do love and respect G-d.” Also I think there is something to be said about this practice and identity. Kissing the Torah when it comes around and kissing the Tanakh when it is dropped, are now considered what ‘good’ Jewish people do. Nobody is going to want to be the only one not kissing the Torah/ their Tanakh and having others thinking they don’t respect and love G-d. Thus, I think that part of what is keeping this custom alive is a fear of what society would think if you didn’t do it. Now it is so ingrained in the congregations that it is common practice and is done in most temples, as now people grow up doing and watching this from their role models-and it’s normalized. I’ve also marked this as contagious magic in the sense that through kissing the Torah/ the Tanakh which are said to have come from G-d’s ordinances. You are kissing and respecting G-d through his texts and this falls in place with the definition of contagious magic that says that ‘one can carry out an action by something that was once connected to the designated target of the magical act,’ in this case G-d’s words and teachings.

Hot Tub Pregnancy

“Friend: When I was in middle school at a Christian private school, there was this rumor that if you kissed in a hot tub you would get pregnant. I had a hot tub at my house and I remember at my birthday party in 8th grade we started playing truth or dare in my hot tub. One of the boys dared one of the girls to kiss another guy and we all freaked out (but not visibly, because you know, eighth grade is when you’re supposed to be cool about everything). She eventually kissed the guy and then people started talking the whole next week at school about how she was pregnant and she was going to have to marry that kid.”

Me: Why do you think that was a rumor?

Friend: “I think parents didn’t want kids to be messing around in the hot tub, you know where it’s hard to see where people’s hands are. Now that I think about it, I have heard that if you have sex in water and let’s say the guy pulls out right away, there’s still a chance that you can get pregnant. Like if the sperm were to travel through the water? It seems ridiculous that just kissing can do that, but kissing leads to other things. If you’re a parent you probably don’t want your kid getting in the hot tub with someone of the opposite sex no matter what.”

Analysis: I hadn’t heard this folklore about kissing in a hot tub, but I definitely heard that you weren’t supposed to go too far when you’re in water with someone. I think the fact that she was at a private Christian school says a lot about this folklore. Chastity is a big part of the culture, and so kissing overall would be a taboo, in the hot tub or otherwise.

Full Moon on the Quad at Stanford

My mom went to graduate school at Stanford. This is her interpretation of the “Full Moon On the Quad” Tradition:

Mom:”The original tradition holds that if you are a freshman girl at Stanford, you are not really a Stanford woman until you’ve been kissed by a senior under the full moon on the quad. For decades the story was often told, but the occurrences of these kisses would happen spontaneously – or not. Individual girls would report their initiation into Stanford womanhood with a mix of scandal and pride.”

Me: But is there an actual event where people meet on the Quad?

Mom:”These days, it has become an organized thing. Throngs of upperclassmen wait on the quad while scores of freshman females arrive to be kissed, and kissed again and again by a steady stream of upper class students– most of them strangers. This happens on the first full moon of the fall quarter.There are monitors to insure that consent is being given, there are express lanes for gay, straight, and bisexual preferences and there are even health center advocates who distribute mouthwash to help kill infectious viruses and bacteria being passed mouth to mouth.”

Me: Did you ever think this was an odd tradition for a prestigious school like Stanford to uphold?

Mom: “Yes. There was a saying when I went to Stanford that Stanford women were all either boobless brains or else brainless boobs. (If they were smart they were ugly and vice versa) What an astonishingly sexist tradition. Yet maybe it is no surprise that this is the elite school that also fostered an environment that taught Brock Turner to see rape as an extension of fun and games.”

Analysis: I agree with my mom in that it surprised me to learn that this tradition still exists at Stanford. I wonder how it will change in this generation- where gender, and being a “Stanford woman” may be harder to define. At one point in time, this tradition represented the idea that women must be verified in order to hold some validity on campus. I think that to be a genuine Stanford woman, a person should simply be enrolled at the school.

 

For more on the Full Moon on the Quad Tradition: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/orgy-stanford-freshmen-love-full-moon-quad/story?id=20759670

Scratch your nose, you’ll kiss a fool

Informant: “Scratch your nose, you’ll kiss a fool”

 

The informant is a Caucasian male from northern California. He is currently a freshman at USC studying business administration. He is also a member of a fraternity.

The informant said he learned this saying from his mother when he was a young boy. The informant explained that the saying meant that “if you got an itchy nose the next person that you kissed was a fool.”

This saying was meaningful to the informant because he had fond memories surrounding the lore. He stated that “I always remember that when I was a kid like I would get an itchy nose and my mom would always say it to me and then give me a kiss on the cheek, or when she got an itchy nose she would do it to me.” Thus, the lore would serve as a way to establish rapport between the informant and his mother through gentle teasing.

This saying is somewhat common as it can be easily found on the internet on numerous websites, and there are many other variants about scratching your nose. Some are quite similar and others are not. The more similar variants state that if your nose itches you are going to “shake hands with a fool,” or “meet a fool.” Others not so similar versions maintain that if your nose itches it means “someone is thinking of you,” “someone loves you,” you are going to “have a quarrel with someone,” “you’re confused about something,” or “a visitor is coming.”

The Coconut Tree

Contextual data: My informant (my roommate) told me this story late at night when I asked him if he could think of any stories his parents had told him when he was younger. Another of our friends was present, and she was laughing for much of the performance. According to my roommate, his father told him this story about a coconut thief and two lovers–all of whom have horrible fates–as a joke when they were driving in the car a couple years ago. His father was goofing around and trying to make him laugh, so we can assume this story is usually told as an attempt to be funny. My informant’s father is from Vietnam, and he presumably heard this story there. The following is an exact record of our conversation:

Jackson (me): All right, why don’t you tell me that story that you just told me?

I (my informant): Ok, so once upon a time, there was a Vietnamese farmer. Within his backyard, or farm, or whatever you want to call it, he had a coconut tree. Umm, one day a thief decided that he wanted to steal some of the farmer’s coconuts, so he snuck into the backyard, climbed the really high tree, and . . . umm . . . used his knife to cut off a few coconuts, and put them . . . uhh . . . he tied them around his waist and held a few. And then, underneath the tree was a couple kissing, and when the thief had too many coconuts he accidentally dropped one and it fell onto the man’s head, and he bit off the girl’s tongue. So the girl eventually died of blood loss in her mouth, and the man died of concussion, from the coconut falling on his head from meters above the ground.

J: [Laughing]

I: And, ultimately, the thief was tried for burglary [laughing] and eventually put into jail. The end.

J: [Laughing] All right, do you remember who told you that story?

I: My dad.

J: Uhh, did he mean it as a joke, or like a—

I: I think . . . I think he was just like joking around, but it’s definitely a story that he heard in Vietnam at one point in his life.

J: Ok, so your dad’s from Vietnam?

I: Yeah, he moved over in the 70s—to the U.S. in the 70s.

J: Do you think that the story has a meaning behind it, or something like a moral?

I: Uhh . . . don’t kiss under a really high coconut tree?

[Both laughing]

I: Umm . . . pay attention to your surroundings. Like, if the farmer was actually paying attention, then the thief would have been caught before all this stuff happened and umm the couple would have avoided a tragic fate. And the thief shouldn’t have been so greedy as to grab so many coconuts and dropping them to the ground.

J: Does the story have any personal meaning for you?

I: [Laughing] Umm . . . don’t stand under a coconut tree . . . or any dangerous objects.

Even just judging by our reactions (and that of my other friend who was present), the story is meant to elicit laughter, but it does so through very dark humor. It’s all about people doing things with bad connotations–a thief stealing coconuts and a couple having a romantic rendezvous late at night–and then getting into trouble because of it. As is the nature of all contemporary legends, this story may or may not have actually occurred, but the details have undoubtedly changed as it has been passed on. I think my informant is right about the meaning behind the story; it’s about being aware of your surroundings, but, beyond that, I think it’s about not doing what you shouldn’t be doing. It’s definitely black comedy, and it’s entertaining to listen to, but, in the end, everyone has something bad happen to them almost as punishment for what they’re doing right before. And who knows? As a contemporary legend, it could have actually happened.