“Okay, so there was some Rabbi in Prague in like, fucking not this time but like the 1600s or some shit probably? Uh, and you know people in eastern Europe weren’t super fond of Jews all the time right, so he was like “I gotta protect my people,” so he built this giant like clay dude and he speaks the name of God in it’s mouth, and you know, ‘cause that’s how…that’s how robots work. And so the Golem came to life and he just kind of like helped out all the Jews in Prague doing like basic tasks and chores. Uh, until like…there’s different versions of the story, but I think one of the versions is he just straight up murdered a child, so the rabbi was like “Oh we gotta get rid of this dude” and so now he doesn’t exist anymore.”

Note: There are many versions of this myth. In the one I grew up hearing, the golem had the Hebrew word for truth inscribed on it’s forehead and was made to go to sleep by changing the word to the Hebrew word for death. Universally though, the golem went on a murderous rampage and was permanently put down and laid to rest in the attic of a temple, which you can still visit today. I do think this story says a lot about the behavior of the Jewish people through history — we have to help ourselves, but not at the cost of doing harm.