Tag Archives: death

The Dream After Death

“My brother was killed by me almost 20 years ago. And five days before he passed away, I had just moved back from Aruba and he had called me up and he’s like, hey, what are you doing?

It’s my birthday. And I’m like, I’m just. I don’t know, it’s my birthday, let’s hang out. So we hung out and we had a great time. And five days later I was sleeping and all of a sudden I woke up and I was like I couldn’t figure out why I, like, woke up, like in, you know, like, why am I awake? And about 30 minutes later, I get a phone call, 4:00 in the morning, 4:30 in the morning.

And it was my brother calling me, saying that, you know, my brother was found dead and, and I was saying “no way” because I had just talked to him that night.

I was supposed to go down there for Thanksgiving to hang out with him, and I was moving that same weekend. So I was like, you know what? I really shouldn’t do that. I should just stick to packing my bags and, you know, stay focused and so let’s go out next weekend.

And we hung up. It’s 11:30 at night. And then of course, my brother calls me the next morning saying he passed and I was saying “no”, I just spoke to him, you know, I’m like, “no”.

I kept saying “no”. He’s like, yes. He’s kind of like, well, how. Anyways, he, you know. By the way, the cause of death is basically unknown. Okay. I believe his wife killed him, in my opinion.

Just from what I have gathered, he was trying to leave her, and she didn’t want to grant the divorce for almost a year.

Trying to leave her. Anyway, there was a lot of turmoil that went online.

So I was sleeping and I was trying to figure out, like, how can I honor my brother, right?

And. And I was very upset. And he came to visit me in this dream and he said, “you’re not gonna know what happened to me”.

And I was like, what? Why? He’s like, “they don’t have testing for it”. I’m like, okay. He’s like, “but I’m okay. And, you know, you need to basically let go so I can move on”.

I was like, oh, gosh, okay. And I woke up from that dream, and I was like, I felt better because I’m like, at least he came to visit me, you know.”

Their thoughts

The teller believes this was genuine communication from her brother after death, reinforced by the psychic’s confirmation later. She thinks her brother showed up so they can both move on to the next part of their journey; she felt like she did not need to think about how to honor him, and he could move on to the other side and rest in peace.

My thoughts

I found this story interesting because it blends her grief over her brother with her belief in the afterlife.  This story showed how ghost stories can offer comfort and a sense of closure. I was also moved by the fact that after this experience, she chose to meet with a psychic, and that the psychic was able to share details about her brother that felt very specific and personal. That seemed to reinforce her belief that the person she saw in her dream was actually her brother, beyond any doubt she might have had before.

At the same time, I found myself having questions that I didn’t ask during the interview. For example, I was wondering about the timing – was the dream before or after the funeral, and how soon after his death did it happen? I also wondered whether her brother appeared to other family members, especially since she mentioned that her mother and her sons have similar abilities.

I was also fascinated by the uncertainty around his cause of death. The idea that there was “no testing” for it, and that this detail was repeated both in the dream and by the psychic, adds another layer to the story. It creates a sense that some things remain unknowable through conventional means, which may be why the dream and the psychic experience carry so much meaning for her.

Rose, Theater Ghost Memorate

Age: 19

Story: What I remember is that Rose was a former student that died in the school and haunted the theatre in particular. She would bang around in the cats [catwalks] and ventilation especially if you were the only one in the theatre. Among techs I think there was more serious beliefs about how to treat Rose, aka ghost light and personally always saying hi and bye to rose if I was the first one in or last one out, or if she made noises I would talk to her sometimes. – JH

Context: This story was told directly to the archivist as a friend. It is regarding a ghost that was thought to populate their high school theater since the program’s inception.

Teller seems fairly convinced of the rituals that go into the ghost, they mention turning on the ‘ghost light,’ which is the last light left on the stage when people have left, and talking to it in their spare time.

Theaters are often places that claim to experience ghosts. The story of Rose was passed between multiple generations of student tech workers, perhaps to explain things like the weird banging in the ventilation shafts or unexplainable tech problems. There is no evidence showing that a former student died in the school, but a mockumentary was made by some former theater students showcasing Rose’s inception.

Obanje Child

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Story:

PA: “Ah, my child, in the old days, people feared the Ogbanje. These were children who came from the spirit world, but they were never meant to stay. A mother would give birth, love the child, care for them, and just when she thought they would grow strong, eh, just like that, the child would fall sick and die. But it wouldn’t end there, no. That same mother would take in again, and when she gave birth, the baby would look the same, act the same, even carry the same stubborn ways.

People knew what was happening. It was the same child coming back to torment the family, to bring sorrow again and again. That is why they would go to the dibia, the healer, to find a way to stop it. Sometimes, they would cut a mark on the child’s body small, small scars, so that if they died and returned, they would see the mark and know they had been caught. Other times, the dibia would search for the child’s Iyi-uwa, a secret thing the Ogbanje hides in the earth, tying them to the spirit world. If they found it and destroyed it, ah, the child could stay. They would become like any other child, no more running away.”

Context:

The informant is an Igbo elder who grew up hearing about Ogbanje children from their own elders and witnessed how deeply people believed in them. They first heard about it as a child from older relatives and saw families who lost children seek out traditional healers for help.

My Interpretation:

The Ogbanje story is a really interesting way that Igbo people explained something as painful as losing a child. Instead of seeing it as just bad luck or illness, they believed some children were spirits that came and went, causing grief for their families. The idea of marking the child or finding their Iyi-uwa was a way to stop the cycle and make sure the child stayed.

Even today, some people still believe in Ogbanje, or at least know someone who does. It shows how strong traditional beliefs can be, even when times change. Whether or not someone believes in spirits, this story makes it clear how much families struggled with repeated child loss and how they tried to find ways to protect their children.

40 Days After Death

“We do it because [the soul of someone has passed away recently] wanders around for 40 days before they settle on where they want to go. That’s why we pray to help them find their way to Heaven to because they don’t know where they are.” 

As a Filipino-Catholic, my family has many rituals that we perform at different life events. One of the most recent ones that my family has performed is the “40 days after death” prayer ritual we perform after a family member has passed away. For the first 9 days after the person has passed, my family comes together to pray the rosary together and recite the Novena for the Dead. After that, it’s usually the older relatives and those closest to the recently deceased who continue to pray the rosary daily, leading up to the final day when everyone comes together again to repeat the ritual one last time. 

The contents of this ritual are very heavy and the environment is usually quite solemn when this happens. However, when talking to my mom about it, she then started talking about how my whole family only comes together for weddings and funerals. These types of life events provide enough of a reason for people to reshuffle their busy schedules to come out and partake in the event. She then proceeded to talk about the fun memories with cousins that she doesn’t really hang out with and the dinners that occur after the prayer is done. It made me think about my own memories with this prayer, and how I also have had fond memories with my cousins and relatives that I didn’t meet until that time. Ironically, thinking back to these heavily sad periods of time where my family had lost someone, my mom and I first remember the memories of our family coming together for this person and to take part in this ritual. This 40 day of death ritual is ironically something that brings me a bit of happiness and community in a dark time, and I love my family for keeping that tradition alive for I believe that this familial togetherness is something that we value strongly. 

Death Anniversaries

AGE

45

Date of performance

4/30/25

Language

English

Nationality

American

Occupation

Teacher’s Aid

Primary Language

Arabic

Residence

San Diego, CA

Ritual: Funerals, 40 days post death, and the 1-year anniversary

Context + Text: The individual is my mother, and she in an American immigrant from Iraq. I have learned many rituals following the death of people form my community, but the most interesting one’s stem from my mom. According to her, when an individual has passed away, if you are close to them, you are not allowed to leave the house for “happy” things for 40 days. Also, during those days, you should be wearing all black every day. “It’s for sure an interesting ritual we all follow, and it’s even different if you are super close to the individual, as the time period rises to one year instead of just 40 days”. On the 40th day since the death, the same individuals who were there for the funeral gather again to remember them, having a second funeral essentially. For family members, there is then another remembrance on the 1-year anniversary. (It is important to note that one year equals 11 months in this culture for historic reasons). “So, for me my father-in-law had passed away, and I did not attend any celebrations for one year and only wore black, I had to buy so many new clothes”, she continued. While it may be a little over the top, she believes that the new generation will slowly let these rituals die out as they are too much.

Analysis: The revering of the dead has been a tradition for centuries, stemming back to ancient civilizations, especially in the middle east. The individual and her family come from a long line of Iraqis who have held onto these ancient traditions revolving around the dead. Various religions and cultures have adopted similar rituals, as they believe that the one-year anniversary marks a significant period of time to mourn the individual. However, the rituals have subjective ‘guidelines’ as in who must participate in the one-year mourning. This creates all sorts of issues within small communities as they believe that some individuals should be mourning longer or not mourning at all, judging their closeness to the dead person. If an individual is seen celebrating or partying a little too early following the individual’s death, it can be considered disrespect by the family members, and has led to divisions between families and friends.