“At the end of the week on Sabbath, you’re supposed to do this prayer where you light candles, and the wicks have to be intertwined. Whoever is holding the candle should hold it as high as they want their husband to be. If I don’t raise it high, then my grandmother gets mad and tells me to raise it higher, (laughs).”

The informant’s family has been partaking in the tradition for as long as she can remember, she told me. Her grandmother emphasizes it the most within her family. She also said she doesn’t know if the “holding it high for a tall husband” aspect is actually part of the tradition, but her grandmother is very adamant about her finding the perfect man. Maybe her grandmother just incorporated it herself. 

This tradition is called Havdalah, and occurs at the end of Sabbath. It occurs at a specific time at night and usually within the home with family members. Each person has a specific role (candle holder, person giving blessings, etc.).

Since I am not Jewish, I do not practice this. However, I enjoy the humorous aspect that her family has seemed to put into it. She has frequently told me how much her grandmother nags her about finding a worthy husband, so it only seems fitting that they use a religious ceremony to hopefully help her find a tall husband.