Author Archives: Kyle Henderson

Penis size

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English

You can tell the size of a man’s penis by his shoe size

This is a myth I had heard before, but I thought would be interesting to put into the archives after my informant started talking about it.  Neither of us could remember where we first heard it, but he mentioned that it would be pretty difficult to either prove or disprove the theory because of the nature of what would have to measured.  There are different versions of how this theory is played out in modern folklore, but the most common version I hear is “you know what they say about a man with big feet…”  Alternatively, someone may say as a joke afterward, “He’s got big shoes?”  Even though they may say that phrase instead of what everyone else is thinking, that person knows what was meant in the original statement.  A problem with this myth is that, even if someone wanted to prove it to be true, how would the measurement comparison work?  And would it work for European and Asian shoe sizes as well?  There are many issues that would have to be resolved before such a study could be undertaken.

Masturbation causes blindness in men

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English

This blatantly false urban legend is said to come from mothers who didn’t want their sons doing naughty things around the house.  Today, however, most young men are aware that this assertion is, in fact, false.  It is odd that I heard this myth from a girl as I had never heard a girl whose parents or friends had told her about this myth as a young girl.  As a boy, I had heard about it and was curious to know if it was true or not – obviously, after doing a bit of research I quickly read that it was not true.  This myth was quite funny to my informant, who thought it was strange that mothers would actually tell their sons this to keep them from “choking the chicken” so to speak (we both have our doubts as to whether mothers actually told their sons this).  My attitude towards this myth is that I am simply unsure of how it came into being, and I’m curious as to what kind of person would invent such an assertion.  It would be interesting to meet that person and see what else they told their children.

Curse of the 27-year old musicians

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English

My informant tells me about a strange coincidence (he would argue otherwise) involving supremely talented musicians over the past five decades who have died at the rather young age of 27.  Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain, Jim Morrison, and Amy Winehouse all died at the same age under tragic circumstances.  Most were due to drugs, but Cobain shot himself with a shotgun.  For whatever reason, these artists who were all considered to be some of the most talented of their times ended up dying at the age of 27.  This is no legend, but rather an eerie shared experience among them.  It is even said these days that the artists who all died so young would not probably not hold the same place in history had they died later on in their lives.  This legend is curious to both my informant and myself, as we both listen to the music of each of these singers to this day.  We both agree that it is a sad occurrence that such talented musicians died in their prime.  At the same time, however, we realize that part of the reverence that pop culture still has for these musicians today stems from the idea that they were troubled by demons, and they were so tortured by themselves that they had no other escape except through music or death.

Sneeze, pass gas, burp, cough

Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English

If you sneeze, pass gas, burp, and cough all at the same time, you die.

This is, admittedly, a pretty ridiculous urban legend.  Although I’ve never seen anyone perform all four bodily functions at the same time, I have a very hard time believing that the result of accomplishing this feat would be immediate death.  My informant tells me that he believes that the idea of the legend is that no one has ever claimed to have done it (presumably, because they would have died).  This points to the only (clearly obvious) solution that to perform all bodily functions means a swift death.  My informant tells me that he has always been curious about whether this is actually true, and I told him that, sadly, it is most likely not.  However, if he wanted to give it a try, I wouldn’t stop him.

Legend of the Melon Heads

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 2012
Primary Language: English

Legend of the Melon Heads – descendants of about a dozen escaped convicts in the Connecticut forest who resorted to cannibalism to survive the harsh winters; then they started inbreeding and developed some kind of mutation

This is one of the stranger legends an informant told me.  Since I had never heard the story before, I cringed when I first heard it, and my informant told me that is the natural reaction of everybody the first time they hear the story.  He really has no idea as to the truth of the legend, but he says that his parents remember hearing it when they were growing up, so it’s been around for a number of decades.  He says that he never really thought much about the legend or where it originally came from until I asked him about it.  Although he says he remembers it from his childhood, it is stuck in his memory more because of the gruesome details than because it was a formative piece of childhood.  I think of this story like I think of Chicago legends of mobsters – fun to think about for a bit, but then I just become curious as to how the story came about and whether it is true or not.  If it is, should we be worried?  With stories like this floating around, the answer is probably yes.