Monthly Archives: May 2012

Talking Muffin Joke

Nationality: African-American
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: USA
Primary Language: English

Informant:

This joke was provided by Jessyka Linton, 19.  She considers herself African-American and is a student at the University of Southern California.  Jessyka learned this joke from her younger brother, and she shared it while waiting to take a group picture at a retreat with members from an on-campus Christian organization.  Her performance was loud and enthusiastic, and received with laughter.

Text:

Ok, so there was once this baker, and he had to bake so he could make money, you know?  So, one day he’s making these muffins and he mixes all the ingredients and he sticks them in the oven.  Well, it starts heating up in there, so the one muffin says to the other muffin, “It’s getting hot in here,” and the other muffin goes, “AHH!  A talking muffin!”

Analysis:

Jessyka likes this joke because it is random and nonsensical.  Especially through her passionate performance, the joke builds anticipation but then provides a completely unexpected conclusion.

One for the Road

Nationality: British
Age: 53
Occupation: Corporate Intelligence
Residence: USA
Primary Language: English

Informant:

Janet Kinnen, 53, works in corporate intelligence and is self-identified British.  She learned the following story while a student in Liverpool.  I collected it from her during a dinner conversation with my family.

Text:

How about this.  Do you know where the phrase “One for the road” comes from?  It has to do with when people would get hanged in these public executions, they would put them into a cart and drive them through the city.  Then, as they went along, people along the way would hand the criminals beer, whisky, alcohol of some sort and tell them “One for the road.”  That way, by the time they finally got to the gallows, these fellows were too drunk to feel a thing.

Analysis:

This story does not really mean anything in particular to Janet.  She just found it interesting.  To me, it is intriguing that taking something to go or taking one for the road is associated with death at the end.

To Nelson’s Blood

Nationality: British
Age: 53
Occupation: Corporate Intelligence
Residence: USA
Primary Language: English

Informant:

Janet Kinnen, 53, works in corporate intelligence and is self-identified British.  She learned the following story while she was dating a Navy officer in London.  I collected it from her during a dinner conversation with my family.

Text:

You’ve hear the phrase, “Drink to Nelson’s blood,” haven’t you?  You haven’t? That’s a pity.  There’s a really great story that goes along with it, although I don’t think now is the best time.  Don’t want to spoil your appetite.  Alright.  Nelson was a Navy admiral, probably one of the best of all time, if you ask me.  But he died during the Battle of Trafalgar, hence Trafalgar Square, which is named after that battle.  You know, that place with all the blasted pigeons right in front of the British museum. Although, I dare say, there a few jolly good pubs right around there.  But Nelson hated the sea, which is bloody weird seeing as he was a bloody Admiral in the Royal Navy.  So, his final request, he asked to be buried on land.  And then he died.  This left his officers in an awful mess.  How were they going to preserve the body long enough to get it back to England?  So, they came up with an idea, which was to stuff Nelson’s body into a casket of rum and then they just told the crew not to drink from that barrel of rum.  Of course, they didn’t tell the poor fellows why not, so when they got back to England, they rolled out the barrel with Nelson’s corpse in it, opened it up, and found there was no rum left!  So, ever since then, for good luck, you drink to Nelson’s blood.

Analysis:

This bit of meta-folklore puts a new spin on an old saying of drinking to Nelson’s blood.  It adds a slight horror effect, completely disgusting the audience by implying that the crew drank the rum which had been storing Nelson’s presumably bloody body.  Consequently, it has a somewhat cannibalistic theme to it, dealing with issues of drinking a person’s blood.  The behavior is excused by saying that the crew simply did not know what was in the barrel of rum and so just assumed that it was simply rum that the officers were trying to withhold.  It also begs the question, if they had known, would they have acted differently?  The initial response is yes, reinforcing certain taboos in our western culture.  Nelson’s blood has in many cases also become synonymous with rum, so this story would also have connections to that phrase.  To Janet, this story is meaningful because it shows the effects of a lack of transparency in an organization and because it is associated with a good time at the bar.

http://www.pussers.com/t-nelsons-blood-flagon.aspx

http://www.therumelier.com/id70.html

http://www.nelsonslocal.co.uk/nelsons_blood.htm

http://www.cruisingworld.com/destinations/chartering/a-flotilla-for-sailors-who-drink-nelsonrsquos-blood

 

An Iranian Engagement

Nationality: Persian
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: USA
Primary Language: English

Informant:

Ariana Hazery, 18, is a senior in High School.  Her self-identified ethnicity is Persian.  She recently went back to Iran to visit family and made the following cultural faux pas.  I collected it from her over coffee while she was visiting USC.

Text:

I went to Iran last summer to visit my aunt and uncle.  They own a silk farm.  It’s kind of cool actually.  Anyways, uhm, the craziest thing happened!  My sister, Leila, and I were talking with our two cousins, and they’re both boys.  They’re a little older than us, but not much.  So, uhm, we’re talking with them in the living room, and its getting noisy, so we ask them if they want to come upstairs with us.  Leila and I were sharing a room on the second floor, so we figured we could go hang out in there until dinner was ready.  So we do that.  Well, when we come back, my aunt has this huge smile on her face, and she gives me this big hug, and then she goes, “We are so happy with your choice!” [imitates accent].  Uhh, what?  Excuse me?  Leila and I have no idea what’s going on.  Well, eventually we put the pieces together.  In Iranian culture, you only show your room to a boy if you are engaged to him!  So my aunt thought that we had gotten engaged to her sons!

Analysis:

While taken from the perspective of an outsider breaking in, this story is revealing about some of the practices regarding engagement in Iranian culture.  Also, it is not entirely uncommon for fist cousins to marry, still, so the aunt had more reason to take this act seriously.  However, it is interesting that showing the bedroom is associated with engagement, and not marriage, in this particular region.  The Iranian family lived in a tiny, farming town that specialized in producing silk, so distance from major political, religious, and cultural centers in Iran may have contributed to this more relaxed attitude towards male and female interaction.

Smartest Man in the World

Nationality: African-American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: USA
Primary Language: English

Informant:

This joke was provided by Monique Warren, 20.  She considers herself “black” and is a student at the University of Southern California, studying Environmental Engineering.  Monique learned this joke from one of her roommates.  I collected it from her during a conversation in my apartment, but she most recently shared this joke at dinner with several friends from an engineering class.

Text:

Okay.  So, Bill Gates, Hillary Clinton, a kid are all in an airplane when the pilot comes out and is like, “It looks like the plane is gonna crash.” And then he’s like, “But we only have three parachutes and there’s four of us.”  So Hillary stands up, grabs one of the parachutes, and says, “I’m the most powerful woman in the world.  The world needs me.”  And so she like puts on the parachute and jumps out.  Then Bill Gates grabs a parachute and is like, “I’m the smartest man in the world.  The world needs me.”  And he jumps out too.  Then the pilot turns the kid and says, “I’ve had a good life.  You take the third parachute.”  And the kid’s like, “That’s okay.  The smartest man in the world just took my backpack.”

Analysis:

This joke seems to make a comment on people who presume that the world needs them due to this quality or that.  While many variations exist, it is interesting that one of the characters is Hillary Clinton.  In many other cases, the cast is all male.  Consequently, this joke is in part making a statement about power-hungry women.  Also, during the Bush administration, George W. Bush took one of the parachutes in many cases.  Perhaps, due to the racial sensitivities attached to Obama, it is safer to use Hillary instead.  In addition, this joke has some 1% undertones to it, since the person who took the wrong parachute was Bill Gates, the wealthiest man in the world.  In his case, his wealth did not save him.

Sources:

http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/compjokes/smartestman.shtml

http://www.laughparty.com/funnyjoke/Parachute/502/

http://www.funny.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/Funny.woa/wa/funny?fn=CHB2V&Funny_Jokes=Parachutes

http://speakeasy.jazzcorner.com/speakeasy/showthread.php?t=20453

http://wheelchairquiz.com/george-bush-jokes.htm

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070612140604AAJvwtp

http://www.tensionnot.com/jokes/airplane_crash