Category Archives: Customs

Customs, conventions, and traditions of a group

10. Iranian Weddings

Nationality: Iranian/Turkish
Age: 53
Occupation: Realtor
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/25/13
Primary Language: English
Language: Farsi, Turkish

My informant shared various Iranian wedding traditions with me, more notably ones that were done at her own wedding.  My informant discussed the “aghd” which is the legal ceremony that takes place before the reception. The aghd takes place by the sofreh, which is a table, or setting that has symbolic items placed on it. My informant said that during the ceremony the couple is seated at the foot of the Sofreh, facing the mirror that is placed at the front of the Sofreh. My informant then said that after the couple exchanges rings that they dip their fingers in honey. The husband licks the honey off the wife’s finger and vice versa. The honey is supposed to symbolize the start of their marriage with sweetness and love. After the I-dos it is tradition for the families to give the couple gifts such as gold coins and jewelry.

The items on the sofreh are supposed to protect the couple from harm. Some of the items include: a bowl of gold coins which represent health and prosperity, tray of herbs and spices are meant to protect the couple from evil, there is a copy of the Koran (Muslin holy book), decorated flat bread which symbolizes success for the couple’s life, an assortment of pastries, and pomegranates which symbolize hope for a joyous forthcoming. My informant said that the most important item on the sofreh is the mirror that is placed on the table. The mirror represents fate, and the groom is supposed to see his wife in the mirror for the first time after he takes off her veil.

What really stuck with me after listening to my informant was the way in which the wedding is celebrated. Like most other cultures, weddings are a huge celebration. However in Iranian culture, it is much more of an over the top party.

Cuban Pig Roast

Nationality: East European, Jewish
Age: 18
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: April 20, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: none

“So my family has this tradition, actually it’s a Cuban tradition but we bastardize it a little. A lot…of roasting a pig and throwing a party every winter. In Cuba, pretty much everyone celebrates Noche Buena on Christmas Eve and they basically throw gargantic parties and roast a whole pig and eat a ton of food, which is why Cuban holidays are the best! So my family, which is part Cuban, also likes to celebrate this tradition only we’re always out of town on Christmas Eve visiting my family in Miami, where a lot of people also celebrate Noche Buena because of the large Cuban population. So sometimes we celebrate it twice which is fun, but also means we gain like ten pounds every winter. Anyway, we usually host our party in early December or early January depending on when my brother…Adam is home from college because he is the right hand man to my dad who is the supreme pig roaster. Pigs are roasted outside in homemade pits…ours is in our backyard. It’s a largish square structure built out of bricks and covered with cement, and the whole family helped out and it’s decorated like Watts Towers because that’s the best place in the world. There’s also a wire contraption that holds the pig and it looks like a bed that the pig lies on. We invite a ton of people who bring other food. Cuban traditions are…all about community, so it’s important that there are a lot of people. My grandmother who is full-blooded Cuban cooks other Cuban food like Cuban black beans and rice and yucca. And the pig cooks all day and it’s cut in front of everyone…and by everyone. There’s also live music played by whoever brings an instrument, and lots of dancing…it’s similar to the celebration in most other Cuban households with the only major difference being how the pig gets cooked. One family we know skewers the pig on a long pipe and attaches a steering wheel to one end so they can drive the pig around and around above a fire…this is the other common way of cooking a pig!”

My informant’s knowledge of her family’s celebration of Noche Buena revolves mainly around the roasting of the pig. This is a long process that takes an entire night, which seems to bring people at this celebration together. It also has certain rules, such as how the pig is usually roasted outside over coals. The essence of this holiday is based not just in the food, but in the act of roasting (no shortcuts, no buying pre-roasted pig). I also found it interesting that there were alternative ways of cooking a pig, with the steering wheel method encouraging people to interact even more with the central food of the holiday. Noche Buena actually exists in several locations such as Spain and the Philippines, but only the Cuban and Puerto Rican communities add the pig roast as an integral part of the holiday.

Lei-Giving

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles (from Honolulu, Hawaii)
Performance Date: April 20, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin Chinese, Cantonese

Informant: “So apparently, everywhere else besides Hawaii does not gives leis during graduation or…like birthdays. So like basically, a lei is like…a circle of love that you can put around someone’s neck…hahahahaha…hahahaha…hahahahaha…and typically, they’re made out of flowers, like they get quite elaborate. There are different leis for males and females, and like the males have like, lil like kukui nuts or like maile leaves. Which are just…like, green…hahahaha…leaves…hahahahahahahahahaha. I’m the worst person ever to talk about this stuff! Anyway, and yeah. And women’s are usually much more colorful, and they come with like orchid flowers, like all these fancy flowers. And they have like Hawaiian, traditional Hawaiian flowers, that are native only to Hawaii. And you can give them during graduations or birthdays, and like, the most popular lei-giving season is during May? Hahahahahahahahahahahaha…hahahahahaha!”

Me: “What’s so funny about May?”

Informant: “I don’t know! It’s just like, during May? Like ok? Hahahaha. Ok, then during May, there’s like…everyone graduates! So that’s why it’s the most popular season for lei-giving, makers, and like everyone gives each other leis. Like all graduates, all the family members, all the friends. So like we always end up with like ARMFULS, and like leis, and like they’ll go from our neck all the way up to the top of our heads. Like covering our eyes, can’t see anything! Cuz there’s so many leis. So much love. Oh, and nowadays, besides just flower leis, there are candy leis…where people like, basically tie candy together. And then there are finger leis! Which are really easy to make out of yarn. Yup. Oh! And then a lot of people make these really fancy-ass crochet leis. Yeah…they’re really nice. And they’ll make em all in school colors, good times. Oh wait wait wait! Are you still going?”

Me: “Yeah, still going.”

Informant: “Ok, there are also haku leis. Which are, like, smaller more dense versions of a lei. But it’s like for your head. And you put it on your haku, which is your head. And they’re your…and there’s like special versions made by women who are very very…what’s it called? Skilled! At the craft of making haku leis and they’re quite hard. You have to do like flower arrangements, you gotta like weave them in together. And it’s quite, quite arduous work. But it looks very beautiful in the end, and you can always let them dry out, you can keep them. Dried haku leis, or dried leis, and they’re very nice.”

My informant talks about leis, which are essentially garlands that serve as a symbol of love or affection. As she explained, there are many different types of leis, and varying levels of lei construction in terms of difficulty. She does not seem to privilege one form above the other, although she did point out that the special haku leis are usually only made by women who are skilled in that craft. There are also other types of leis which are not covered in this performance, as well as special rituals associated with lei-giving. As she notes, it is typical to keep leis once they have dried out, since these are an expression of love and not to be thrown away. This folk object is particularly interesting because it has a definite presence in the Hawaiian tourist industry today. Many visitors are given (or sold) leis at Hawaiian airports, usually made of brightly colored flowers or plastic flowers. Leis have become a sort of symbol many people associate with Hawaii, and yet they are usually unaware of the full context of this folk object.

Korean Thanksgiving

Nationality: Korean
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles (from Palos Verdes, California)
Performance Date: April 23, 2013
Primary Language: English
Language: Korean

Informant: “Ok, so Korean Thanksgiving is like…almost the same thing. But it’s like a different kind of purpose? And our kind of goal is like to honor our ancestors. So we have a big Korean Thanksgiving feast, where there’s a lot of food and a lot of traditional Korean dishes. Like not just Korean barbeque or anything, but like…like rice cakes and like pretty things, and…and…”

Me: “Is it on the same day as American Thanksgiving?”

Informant: “No, it’s not. I actually don’t know the exact date cuz it kind of shifts every year.”

Me: “What month is it, do you know?”

Informant: “November. But it’s like, it’s probably more early November, late October-ish. And, um, so we have a feast. And if you’re in Korea, like, the custom would be to go visit the gravestones, or your family’s…cemetery. Like, where your…cuz in Korea you’re usually, your ancestors would kinda be buried in the same land, plot of land. So you kinda go and you kinda respect them, and sometimes you like put out food on the graves. And…”

Me: “What’s the purpose of putting the food on the graves?”

Informant: “It’s just so…so you’re remember the deceased ones kind of? And you’re like, cuz they’re not. Cuz in Korea your deceased ancestors aren’t really like dead. They’re actually supposed to be kinda like present, omnipresent in your household. So you’re kinda just like recognizing it. And you would give them like the best stuff. Like very like fragrant things, and sometimes there’d be incense and whatnot. Um, in America we don’t really get to go to the gravestones. But um, what is it? But we, ehem, meet up with like extended family, and…hahahaha hahaha…uhhh. It’s kinda like an American Thanksgiving, but it’s just different. Because you’re remembering different things than I think you….I dunno, like in American Thanksgiving.”

Korean Thanksgiving is celebrated according to the lunar calendar, as opposed to the solar calendar used in the US, which is why the date shifts. However, it usually occurs in November, roughly around the same time as American Thanksgiving. This is most likely because this time of year is harvest season, during which it is only natural to celebrate increased bounty. However, as my informant pointed out, the Korean version of this holiday celebrates something very different. Korean Thanksgiving celebrates (or rather, pays respect to) the deceased and ancestors. I think this is indicative of different cultural attitudes; whereas future-oriented America celebrates the new bounty of the year, past-oriented Korea pays respected to family members who are no longer there, but not entirely absent. Furthermore, in American Thanksgiving, the feast is eaten by all present as a way to celebrate the excess of a successful harvest. In the Korean version of the holiday, however, the choicest foods are set aside for ancestors. A large part of this holiday is placed-based, since the point of it is being able to visit the family plot. I found it interesting to hear how immigrant families have adapted the holiday to still keep the spirit of the holiday, even when they are not able to visit the graves in person.

Russian Wedding Traditions

Nationality: Russian
Age: 33
Occupation: Graduate student
Residence: Pasadena, CA
Performance Date: 4/16/13
Primary Language: Russian
Language: English, French, Czech

My informant is from Lipitsk, Russia. She moved to the United States for graduate studies, and is a graduate student at USC at the age of 33. I collected many superstitions from my informant, and also wedding traditions, using her own wedding as an example. My informant gave me many Russian wedding traditions. My informant is married to a man from the United States. Their wedding was in Russia, with the traditional elements. I asked my informant why she did all of these traditional things and she explained the importance of tradition in Russia. “Tradition is important to the family. There are certain expectations and you do not wan tot upset everyone. The structure is always there, and it works well. Russians are very traditional, it is just the way things are done. At my wedding, I wanted to show my in laws the Russian wedding and show them my culture. The M.C. brings the two families together. Like they have to do this special dance with each side of the family. One tradition is at the wedding receptions where when someone means a word translated to “sour or lemons”, the couple has to kiss.”

I thought this tradition was interesting because at my aunts wedding reception there was karaoke and anytime a song had the word “kiss” in it, a couple had to kiss.  My informant told me about an M.C. that is hired to run the wedding. There are many weddings games to play, and the M.C. facilitates bringing the two families together. My informant’s parents in law liked how involved they were able to be, as the groom’s parents.

There is another Russian superstition that says “if it is raining on your wedding day, you will be rich.”

Another tradition that I found especially interesting was that the bride will be “stolen” and the groom must buy her back. This is very similar to my informant from Bangladesh, where the groom’s side of the family had to pay to get in to the reception. Similarly, in Russian tradition, the bride’s shoe is often stolen, just as the groom’s shoes were stolen in the wedding from my informant from Bangladesh. My Russian informant said that the stealing of the shoes symbolizes a “loss of virginity.” It is interesting that these themes of buying back the bride and stealing of shoes come up in countries across the world.