You ate my ears

Nationality: Greek
Age: 82
Residence: Northridge, Ca
Performance Date: 2-22-23
Primary Language: Greek
Language: English

Text:

“You ate my ears” (μου έφαγες τα αυτιά)

Context:

EF is eight-two-year-old women who is like a surrogate grandma to me. She lives in Northridge, CA., but grew up in a small Greek village called Corfu; she remains very connected to her Greek heritage and culture. From her cooking to her proverbial warnings, she is filled with unique folklore that she loves to share. I asked EF to facetime with me, so I could gain knowledge from her, for this project. Since she is eighty-two, she does not remember the origins of most of her folk speech. However, she did recall where and who she always heard saying the metaphor, “You ate my ears.”

EF- There was a group of widows in my village that always sat around and all they did was gossip (rolls her eyes). They were always saying that someone ate their ears, so someone is too loud and obnoxious.

EF- Many Greek husbands yell this at their wife if she is nagging (laughs).

Interviewer- Did your ex-husband ever say that to you?

EF- No! You crazy girl (laughing). If he did, I would’ve slapped him (powerful Greek woman smile).

EF also explained that the reason for so many odd sayings in her small village was due to lack of education. She said since they didn’t have good vocabularies, people would try to express themselves with combinations of words they knew. She also mentioned that another use for the metaphor was to ward off street salesman who wouldn’t leave.

Analysis:

This folk metaphor is common throughout Greece; however, like a lot of folk speech, is it difficult to pinpoint the exact origin. The informant first heard the saying from a group of older women who were widows in her small village, which shows how useful this phrase was in multiple generations’ conversations. This is a blatant insult that seems to only be directed at women and never men but can be used by either gender. As the informant explained, the phrase is often used by husbands to describe their wives’ unfavorable behaviors. This speaks to how prominent the stereotype was of Greek women, especially Greek wives, as very loud nagging figures. The commonality of the metaphor reveals some degree of sexism during that time period, perhaps by both men and women, since the widows used it to describe only other women in the village, but not men.

Gimme some Sugar

Nationality: American
Age: 68
Residence: Huntsville, TN
Performance Date: 2-19-23
Primary Language: English

Text:

“Come ‘er and gimme some sugar”

Context:

The informant is my Mamaw, that’s how we say grandma where I’m from. She is sixty-eight years old; she was born in Pennsylvania, then moved to Kentucky, and has now lived in Tennessee for about forty years. She has an incredibly thick southern accent that sounds like most other people over fifty in my town and would most definitely self-identify as a country bumpkin. I called and asked her if she knew any phrases that were specifically southern, maybe that her northern siblings don’t say. As she was giving a few examples in her slow voice, I was reminded of a metaphor that I have only heard her, and my mother say.

Interviewer- What about the phrase you say when want me to give you affection before I leave your house or just got there?

Informant- (contemplates) Oh, (laughs) “come ‘er and gimme some sugar.” (She says the phrase in a tone that is somehow a mix of sternness and love)

Interviewer- So why do you say that, because obviously you don’t want actual sugar?

Informant- Hmm, idk I’ve ‘nt put much thinking to it I guess (laughs)

Interviewer- Do you remember the first time you heard it or who said it?

Informant- Lord no, I’ve just always said it to my kids and grandkids, so someone must’ve said it to me.

Analysis:

This metaphor encapsulates many characteristics of the region I grew up in and the people there. The phrase “gimme some sugar” is pretty simplistic, it means give me a hug or kiss, but the metaphor actually represents much more. First, this saying is only used with family members or close friends and is said to someone much younger than an adult. The tone that is used can almost be described as authoritative, but in a loving and high-pitched voice, so the command cannot be ignored. These characteristics of the metaphor speak to the significance of respecting and obeying one’s elders in Southern culture. Using the word “sugar” adds that warm and affectionate charm that Southerners are known for; they are quite literally “sugar coating it.” Sugar is also a vital ingredient in many dishes, and I have noticed many other examples of ingredients and food being used as representatives in Southern folk speech. This is likely due to the importance of preparing food and eating together which is heavily emphasized in Southern culture.

That’s the Way the Cookie Crumbles

Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 16, 2023
Primary Language: English

CONTEXT: 

K is a freshman at USC studying American Studies & Ethnicity (African American Studies). He plays video games with his family.

TEXT:

If I’m playing a game, and I’m losing, and I understand why that’s happening, I go ‘well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.’ I think it was like my brother. And my sister. I can’t remember exactly which one, but we were playing a game together. I think it was on Nintendo, so I think it was Smash. And I lost to my siblings, like several times, because I’m not very good at that game. They’re like masters. And I’m just like, ‘well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles.’ Because like, I had basically no chance to win from then to there. But most of the time they’ll be kicking my ass. Like every which way.

ANALYSIS:

There are lots of variations on this saying, such as “such is life,” or “it is what it is.” Essentially, this particular saying seems to represent another way to express how it all breaks down — how everything happens. To people who use it, it seems to denote an acceptance of an unpleasant reality, in which nothing can be changed about how what’s happened has happened, or how the cookie has crumbled. The idea that it is specifically a cookie crumbling, however, rather than a cake or any other sweet, denotes a focus on a sweet that easily drops crumbs. Cookies often take the form of a more brittle baked good, and that means if it is broken, it drops a lot more pieces and crumbs of itself. When a cookie crumbles, one would not know how it does, just that it does and they lose a piece of the sweet baked good. This is, interestingly, the other side of a snack eaten commonly together, while used the same way. Cookies and milk are often eaten together, and there is a saying that goes “There is no use crying over spilt milk.” The same meaning is derived from both — reality has already occurred, and there is no use dwelling on it.

That Gives Me the Ick

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. She very much enjoys writing as well as consuming literature.

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me, and when we got to folk speech, I asked her to break down what the “ick” was, a now popular saying especially amongst users of TikTok and other social media for members of Gen Z. 

TEXT: 

A: “I would say in the context of when I’ve heard it used, it’s always been the lifting of the rose tinted glasses, whether that’s like permanently or just for a moment, in that moment when you’re like, if you really like someone and they do something that makes them seem super real. Maybe too real. Like if a guy runs with his backpack and it’s bouncing up and down, like I’ve heard that described as an ick because it’s just too real and doesn’t fit within your perception of them.”

Me: “How do you use it?”

A: “Just when people do things that turn me off; not sexually but it’s when something’s really off-putting in terms of someone’s behavior and it’s off putting it away that might alter my perception of them for the worse. I think we’re all prone to like seeing people differently from how they are when they’re forced or for the better, but more in the sense of, ‘Oh, okay, maybe I don’t like you as much as I initially did before having this knowledge.’”

Me: “Could you name some examples of what would give you the ick?”

A: “Obviously, they’re different for every person. But if anyone who can’t appreciate literature, or if I send them a poem [on Instagram], and they like the poem and they won’t say anything else. Now, I can’t romanticize you in my head as someone who appreciates literature, so that’s and ick. Or if someone types in a very specific way or uses certain emojis, it’s just like, ‘Ew, just stop.’ So that would be an ick. I would also say that I feel like these days, it’s very obvious that people often confuse icks with basic standards. Where it’s like, ‘Oh, I got the ick because he’s talking to another girl.’ It’s like, no, he’s just not a good person and you shouldn’t be with him if he’s talking to you and another girl at the same time. Or, ‘I get an ick when he cheats on me.’ It’s like no, that’s not what it is.” Those are deal breakers. Icks are just [more minor] things that change your perception of a person for the worse.

ANALYSIS: 

The ick is a rather new term, and in a contemporary sense, it tends to be used in regards to relationships—if someone behaves in a manner that doesn’t advocate for them as someone to date, then that would be an ick. However, it’s also begun to be used in a manner less related to relationships, as indicated by A’s commentary. The ick can refer to normal friendships versus the pursuit of relationships, and it is seeing more common use, especially by young people. Especially in an age of the digitization of dating and the more speedy nature of it, along with hookup culture, the presence of a quick way to stop the romanticization of a person in one’s mind is symptomatic of a culture that is rooted in the idea of a soulmate, but doesn’t behave as such. The ick, romantically, seems to function as a threshold of sorts, or an invisible standard — that to find the “perfect” person or one’s soulmate, they can’t gross one out like an ick would.

你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao): You are My Small Cotton-Padded Jacket

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. She chose to share a short affectionate metaphor.

TEXT: 

A: “I think something that’s a little bit more recent is 你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao), or in English, ‘You’re like my winter coat’ basically. And it’s usually used when a kid is being a really good child or a really good son or a daughter to their parents. People will be like, ‘Oh,你是你的爸爸的小棉袄’ or ’You’re your dad’s warm winter coat,’ or the same thing for my mom. And it’s one of those phrases that I just remember hearing all the time growing up

Me: “Was it because you were a well-behaved child?”

A: “My parents just really liked me. It was interesting, actually. Because for my dad, it was like he started using it a lot more recently while my mom has always just used it. I think she first said it to me when I was like, maybe like, five or six. And she said it and then she explained the origin of the meaning and then I just remember her always just saying that sometimes. But I think now that I’m about to leave home, they say it more than ever, which is interesting. 

Me: “How do you feel about that saying? What does it mean for you?”

A: “I feel like in every Asian family every compliment or every reference to being a good son or daughter is always like, intrinsically tied to your achievements. You know, if you’re winning competitions, if you’re getting a 4.0. And I feel like this was one of the compliments that are less in reference to stuff like that. And it was more just about how I was as a daughter emotionally rather than I guess in terms of concrete accomplishments. So it’s one of the compliments that means more in that sense.”

ANALYSIS：

I was unfamiliar with this saying, but it’s also one that comes up more recently, with the invention of cotton-padded jackets. I agree – it’s not often that Chinese families are affectionate, especially as one gets older, and sayings like this are important and make us feel warm like our own cotton-padded jackets. In a sense, this seems comparable to the parent still saying that their child is theirs and that their child metaphorically keeps them warm, and brings light into their lives. Especially because Asian immigrant parents are traditionally (and, stereotypically) more focused on their children’s accomplishments, this saying serves as a contrast to that tradition. Furthermore, it’s interesting that this is a saying more commonly said during childhood, pre-adolescence, before the children begin to (often at their parents’ command) explore artistic and academic skills. As the children get older, there is a higher and higher expectation for them to actually do something, especially as the children of the parents’ friends and relatives begin to get their own accomplishments. In turn, the desire for the children to work and accomplish mutes the affection that was there before. Still, this saying is representative of the love parents have for their child despite a transition into stricter parenting.