Text: Don’t Bite the Hand that Feeds You

Context: The subject often heard this proverb when he was being scolded by his mother as a young kid. Whenever he was being disrespectful or ungrateful, she would tell him off using this phrase.

Analysis: This proverb is very old and has been a staple of Western proverbial wisdom for millenia. It is featured in the Bible’s Book of Proverbs, which gives it a terminus ante quem of 1500 years. Despite its age, the proverb has maintained its relevance, teaching countless generations about relationship and power dynamics.  In the modern day, it is often used to calm an inferior party that is acting out of line, just like how the subject described his mother using it. In this case, its use is quite ironic since the mother literally feeds the son. In practice, its use is far more widespread. Whether it is a boss paying your salary or a coach giving you a spot on his team, this proverb reminds many hotheaded (and often young), people that it is never advisable to disrespect those who help provide your livelihood. For, if you bite the hand that feeds you, it is unlikely to return again with your food. 

Text: The Grass isn’t Always Greener on the Other Side

“I [the subject] really do like to live by those words. We have so many examples of envying someone else’s position in life or lamenting a path you didn’t take, and then ultimately learning that those alternate scenarios are not as rosy as they appear. One good example is how I was always envious of our family friends who lived in a big house with a beautiful pool and a seemingly perfect life. However, as I got older I learned that their lifestyle came at a cost. Their father was on the road all the time, hardly got to see any of his children’s sporting events, and missed out on countless family dinners. In the end, I learned that long roadtrips in the family car and small motel rooms provided us with so many good memories that I would never trade.” – MK

This is a popular Western proverb about the importance of gratitude. While my subject is neither the first nor the last person to ever use it, it still preaches an important message. Those who use the proverb use it as a reminder to quell one’s envy, for things are never as perfect as they appear. As my subject describes, the people who outwardly present “better” or more successful lives are often finding that professional success at a great social cost. 

In reality, this proverb goes beyond the simple dichotomy between professional success and family values. It refers more largely to the idea that nothing is as it seems and that one ought to have a greater appreciation for what they already have. In such a materialistic modern culture, it often takes ancient proverbial wisdom to ground us in the happiness that exists right in front of us. In preaching this message, it goes hand in hand with the proverb “comparison is the thief of joy.” They both warn against the dangers of envy and reinforce the idea that everybody should be grateful for the good that is already in their lives.

Text: Don’t Count Your Chickens Before They Hatch

Context: “I actually do live by this saying too. Never celebrate too soon, because the game isn’t over until it’s over. And oftentimes, people think they are all good with a project, home sale, negotiation, only to find out there’s a snag. So on the one hand, it’s important to remember ‘It’s Not Over Til The Fat Lady Sings’ but equally important to remember not to celebrate a victory too early!” -MK

Analysis: This proverb is part of a large family of Western proverbs cautioning against pride and greed. It is especially similar to the saying “a bird in hand is worth more than 2 in the bush.” Both proverbs caution against being overconfident, just in slightly different situations. They are also both used to keep pride in check and caution against expecting future successes. Ironically, they also both use birds as the metaphor for success.

The saying also has a wider range of use than the informant mentioned. He specifically mentions it in a business context, but there are many other ways in which it is commonly used. Firstly, it is often used in sports to caution a winning team against becoming complacent. Many of my coaches have used this exact proverb to try and stop us from slowing down and losing in the second half of a game. Furthermore, it is often used as a snarky retort. If someone is boasting about their expected victory, a losing party might retort with this proverb, shutting down their cocky demeanor. The universality of this proverb speaks to its versatility and strong staying power in Western culture.