Monthly Archives: May 2012

Nerd Lust

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/4/12
Primary Language: English

“What’s your sine? It must be pi/2 because you’re the 1.”

 

Pick-up lines are a huge form with multiple genres within them. Pick-up lines are hardly ever used seriously–that is, to actually pick up dates. They’re told humorously, usually to highlight a clever play on words. The romantic message is used as a stock message along which to frame the wordplay, which is the real focus of a pick-up line joke. The combination of the two produces a corny and awkward and therefore funny effect. The nerdy pick-up line goes one step further to juggle an extra requirement–the incorporation of overly intellectual content. As nerd-dom is traditionally unsexy, this adds an extra level of amusement, not to mention cleverness. It’s a way for nerds to say, hey, we need lovin’ too.

The Bell Witch is Photogenic

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Mississippi
Performance Date: 4/4/12
Primary Language: English

Informant: “So, my friends–have you guys seen An American Haunting?–okay, so it’s basically a story about the Bell Witch, and it’s based on a real story that took place in Tennessee, in a city that is the only city in the United States that’s certified haunted by the federal government. Basically everyone moved out of the city, it’s completely abandoned now. And there’s a legend that says that if you go there, um, and you’re around there at night, at 3 in the morning you’ll see the Bell Witch. So, uh, a friend of a friend went to that city with a few other guys and they were walking around taking photos and stuff, and they were going through the buildings and there’s all these satanic drawings on the walls of the buildings. At around 3 am, they uh, they’re still taking photos and they took a photo outside of the church. And one of the guys feels something on his arm, so then they’re like ‘nah man you’re just playing, you’re just joking around.’ And they go back, open the camera up, and look at the saved photos–and you can see the silhouette of a woman’s face right next to the guy’s shoulder. And he posted this photo on Facebook too. And I’ve seen the photo myself, like you can see the witch’s face. I’m dead serious. But it’s true, I’ve seen the photo.”

Pinning Ceremony: A Modern Pseudo-Engagement

Nationality: American; Mexican roots
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/25/12
Primary Language: English
Language: Spanish

Informant: “So pinning ceremonies are apparently, uh, a ‘Greek engagement’ is how she describes it. So if you are pretty sure you’re going to be engaged with your college sweetheart after you get out, you do this ritual ceremony in your respective [frat or sorority] houses, and like nobody’s supposed to know except for the head of your house and then they organize this like nighttime ritual where everyone who’s single has to like go and hold a candle–this is how she described it, I swear–and the guys have to all wear white and the girls have to all wear black. And the couple who’s, like, announcing their pseudo-engagement comes in and then everyone’s like ‘oh, that’s you!’ acting all surprised even though they know already. And then they pass a candle around, and then when it gets to them, the guy pins the girl with his fraternity letters.”

 

This is a practice that was described to my informant by a first-hand participant. This seems to hearken back to a supposed historical function of fraternities and sororities as a social environment for the grooming of marital relationships. It establishes any such relationship as part of the fabric of the respective houses, fixing the identity of the house and well as the other person into a permanent place in each other’s lives. It resists modern skepticism and criticism of early commitment to marriage, especially among the college educated, and chooses to embrace it.

Caught with your pants down

Nationality: Korean-American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Palo Alto, CA
Performance Date: 4/25/12
Primary Language: English
Language: Korean

Informant: “I played golf in high school, and there’s all kinds of weird little things, like if you mess up your shot, sometimes people are like, ‘oh, take a Mulligan’ and that just means you can redo if you want, pretty much, for that shot. There’s another one, like, if you don’t hit it past–if you mess up your drive and you don’t hit past the front tees, then you have to walk with your pants down all the way to the flag.”

Strippers

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: Student
Residence: Chicago
Performance Date: 4/25/12
Primary Language: English

Informant: “In high school for our senior prank–we actually weren’t supposed to have a senior prank at all because the seniors the year before really fucked it up, really bad, they like really messed up our library–so, we did it anyway, and we hired a male stripper to come to the school during lunch time, into the cafeteria. The dean was very unhappy–it was so funny. ”

Friend: “How did high school kids coordinate a male stripper?”

Informant: “Well, this one group of kids called the male stripper, and it’s kind of really easy to get into our school, in general. Like if somebody wanted to kill a student, this would be a really good school to do it. *Laughs* It’s true.

Friend: “My cousin hired three male strippers for my grandma’s ninetieth birthday. She almost died.” *mad laughter from everyone*

 

Pranks involving strippers in inappropriate places are funny. People are amused by juxtapositions of the seemingly vulgar and the seemingly dear.