Author Archives: Malani Fenner-Smith

“Twisted Necklace”

Context: While waiting for a pizza order, a co-worker of mine shared a good-luck ritual.

Text:

As we waited for our pizza, my coworker noticed my necklace was twisted. The pendant was behind my neck, and the clasp was at the front. She asked if she could fix it, and I said yes. After she untwisted it, she said, “Now you have to make a wish.” I was a bit confused because I’d never heard of the practice before. She explained that in her family, after they fix their jewelry they make a wish for good luck.

Analysis:

Like blowing an eyelash, I’ve heard of some people who practice luck rituals. It was interesting to hear about a ritual involving jewelry, which, in a way, made a lot of sense. Jewelry pieces are very personal items, and they reflect a lot about a person. Some of us even ritualize wearing the same jewelry every day, highlighting its importance. These pieces are sometimes seen as “good-luck” charms or handed down from generations prior. This reminds me of Fraser’s theory regarding contagious sympathetic magic. Touching these “magical” items is sometimes believed to have a positive impact on people’s lives.

“Stop Shitting Yourself!”

Age: 22

Context: While at a coffee shop, my friend told me a phrase that she and her mother use when they’re overthinking things. They learned it from a family friend who told them a story about her grandmother.

Text:

“Like, stop shitting yourself? Like, even as a kid, I just…my mind runs rampant. I have a huge imagination, which is great in a lot of ways, ’cause it means that I can work creatively, but also, like, it tends to run rampant in anxiety ways too. And so, my mom told me this story of, and she’s a psychologist, but my mom told me this sotry of one of her friends or clients. Um, she was talking with her grandmother and she was like, ‘God I should have done this differently. Like, I should have done blah, blah, blah. I should have done this.’ And her grandmother just slammed the tale, and she said, ‘You need to stop shitting yourself!’

And so I think that has always kind of…stuck with me. Like these, should statements as…cognitive distortions. So we just kind of say to each other, ‘You need to stop shitting yourself.’

Analysis:

I thought this story was hilarious to imagine a blunt statement coming from an elder. Overall, I feel like we naturally think of proverbial phrases as ancient or passed down through generations. However, to hear one as crass yet encouraging was a funny refresh. As we’ve discussed in class, it’s still interesting to me that, even in a modern context, this is advice from an elder. The pattern of us relying on others who have lived life a little longer is continuous, no matter the era.