My informant is a 30-something-year-old Marine Corps vet who lives in the Inland Empire and owns an HVAC business. I called him on the phone because I know that in the Marine Corps little Johnny jokes are very popular. I asked the marine vet to tell me about his favorite little Johnny Joke. There is no exact location for this joke because Marines move all over the country/world for duty stations; but he said he heard this joke at Camp Pendleton, Ca.

Informant: This is a joke I heard in the Marine Corps,

Little Johnny and his grandpa are going on a fishing trip, and as they’re driving down the road, Little Johnny’s grandpa pulls out a cigarette. Little Johnny sees his grandpa smoking a cigarette, leans over and says, Hey, hey, Gramps, you think I could get one of them cigarettes? His grandpa looks over at Little Johnny, thinks about it, and says, well, I don’t know, Little Johnny, can your dick touch your butthole? Little Johnny looks at him a bit confused and says, no.  So Gramps says, I guess you’re not old enough. So, they get to the lake and they start fishing. A little while out there on the lake and Johnny’s grandpa gets a little thirsty, so he opens up a beer, starts drinking a beer. Little Johnny leans in and says, Hey Gramps, you think I could have one of those beers? Gramps says, Well, I don’t know, Little Johnny. Can your dick touch your butthole? Little Johnny says, no, it can’t. Grandpa says, well, I guess you’re not old enough. Little while later goes on and Little Johnny gets hungry, so he pulls out the lunch that his mom made him, pulls out his cookies and starts eating some cookies. His grandpa leans in and says, Hey, Little Johnny, do you think I could get one of those cookies? Johnny says, well, I don’t know, Grandpa. Can your dick touch your butthole? His grandpa sits up very proud and says, Why, yes, it can. So Johnny says, good, go fuck yourself. These are my cookies.

Interviewer: That is a good one. Why do you think marines like little Jonny Jokes?

Informant: I dont know, they tend to be like inappropriate jokes kinda vulgar seems like a good fit with marines i guess.

Analysis: Little Johnny jokes are about a mischievous and clever child character who loves to challenge authority with intelligence and humor. The recurring theme of a child character outsmarting an authority is fits well in military environments like the Marine Corps, where daily life is heavily structured around rank and authority. Marines are constantly moving between different duty stations where these stories and jokes are shared orally around the ashtray or “smoke pit” helping Little Johnny spread quickly all across the world. The humor also reflects a cultural pattern common in military settings where irreverent or shocking jokes help build camaraderie. Marines operate within strict hierarchies, jokes that symbolically flip authority figures or make them look foolish become a way to release stress and hostility between the ranks.