Tag Archives: funeral

German / Austrian Funeral Tradition

Nationality: German
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/18/13
Primary Language: English
Language: German

Grandchildren carrying the coffin

There’s also a German / Austrian tradition that when… at a funeral and a church ceremony where you often um…where, like, almost every time, the grandchildren carry out the coffin in which their grandfather or their grandmother is in. And uh… yeah and they carry it out into the hearse.

 

Not every German and Austrian family partakes in this tradition, but in the town of Karlsruhe, Germany it is very common. At the death of her grandfather, Sophia recalls that she and her two older brother and almost a dozen of her cousins carried their grandfather in his coffin from the church to the hearse to be transported to the burial site.

 

This tradition differs from that of Americans who have such a fear of death that they barely participate in the ceremony. Unlike in Mexico where there is a whole day dedicated to celebrating the dead, or in Ireland where there is a whole section of humor dedicated to death, America makes every attempt to avoid confronting it. We only do so when we must—when our loved ones pass away.

 

Death is so dreaded In America that people can’t even joke about it. Humor often arises from that which is repressed—hence the plethora of sex jokes in the US, a country that stigmatizes sex. Yet, people can’t even joke about death in the States. It is beyond repression, beyond denial.

 

The German / Austrian tradition reminds me of some Native American rituals in which the community was very hands at funerals. Whereas the Native Americans understood that death is simply part of life, Americans engage in this disavowal of reality and deny its existence until it meets them head on. I personally think that this tradition Sophia speaks of really imparts to the children at a young age that death is a path we all must take and that we must accept this as soon as possible. In addition, I feel that these children, looking back on the funeral, would be glad to have participated in the final ritual of their grandparents’ lives.

 

 

 

Spanish Funeral Celebration

Nationality: Hispanic (product of Spanish rule in the Americas)
Age: 21
Occupation: student, front desk worker/ website translator
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 4/25/2012
Primary Language: Spanish
Language: English

We celebrate the death, well not the death, but a celebration of that person’s life. You know how here you wear black, you have a little get together, it’s very quiet, you can’t make jokes and it’s inappropriate if you do. Where in my family and culture you bring in a big mariachi and a banda, and you play and drink. The banda is literally a band and they have trombones, clarinets, and guitars…um, and basically you drink and get super fucked up until 2 or 3 in the morning. Or sometimes until the sun comes back up. And you make really good food and you just remember their life. I mean, you’re kind of talking about the person the whole time, for example you dedicate songs to them, and you’re just like, “this is for you, fucker! You fucking bastard, you owe me three dollars!” (laughs) You talk a lot about dumb shit they did or as a kid how stupid they were. It’s never like, “we miss them.” Although…the mother is usually crying…afterward you visit their capilla – if you build one – on the anniversary they died.

These funeral customs have similarities to Irish funerals. Like most funerals, it’s about the loss of a loved one, but instead of being somber, sad, and quiet like most Americans are during funerals, they cope with the loss through celebrating that person’s life. Clearly there’s still sadness – the mother usually being the one crying – but by celebrating, drinking, and telling stories about their lost loved one, they possibly have a stronger outlet for their emotions and are able to deal better with their grief.

Korean Superstition – The Ill at Funerals

Nationality: Korean
Age: 51
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Cerritos, California
Performance Date: April 2007
Primary Language: Korean
Language: English

“The physically ill in Korea do not attend funerals in fear that death will find them.”

 

My informant first heard about this superstition when about a decade ago, she was puzzled by her mother-in-law’s unwillingness to attend her (as in the mother-in-law’s) brother’s funeral.  When Gwi questioned her opposition to attending, her mother-in-law who is from the rural city of Daegu in Korea, explained that she was already ill.  Spirits at the funeral could sense an ill person’s presence and would follow her home.  She was afraid of the spirits following her after the funeral to take her with them, so she avoided going.  This kind of superstition is wide spread among the country folks in Korea.  They would never attend a funeral no matter how beloved the deceased was to them if they are ill because they believed the spirits would mark them as the next to die.

If I were battling a fatal disease, I would feel too vulnerable to go to such a gloomy and morbid ceremony.  Not necessarily that I believe spirits would follow me home, but I would be afraid to watch a funeral because death would just seem so real and closer to me.  However, I would still find the courage to attend a beloved’s funeral because perhaps I may find consolation in that death does not have to be so scary and remote as many people make it out to be.

Proverb

Age: 50
Residence: Malibu, CA
Performance Date: February 27, 2007

My mother told me of this proverb that she heard while at a funeral.

“An inch of time is an inch of gold, but you can’t buy that inch of time with an inch of gold.”

She heard this proverb when she was attending the funeral of her high school friend’s son.  The boy’s name was Jason.  She died of a drug overdose at the age of 22.  My mother told me that this was the saddest funeral she had ever attended.  Most funerals are for the elderly, who died from old age.  This funeral was extremely unfortunate because Jason was so young and his life had barely begun.  His family did not even know that he had a drug problem.  In a speech given by one of Jason’s teachers this proverb was mentioned.  The teacher talked about how wonderful Jason was and how much potential he had.  All he needed was more time, to hopefully recover from his addiction and begin his life, on a path to success.

In essence this proverb is stating that time is so precious, as precious as gold.  However, you can not earn more time like you can earn more gold.  Therefore, in reality time is more precious then gold.  Things are more valuable the rarer they are.  Gold, something tangible is highly desired because it is rare, therefore everyone wants some.  However, other things like time or love, things that are not tangible are also very rare, but are harder then gold to acquire.

Joke – American

Age: 53
Occupation: Real Estate Investor
Residence: Laguna Hills, CA
Performance Date: February 2007
Primary Language: English

An Oakland Raiders’ fan was watching a game in a sold out Coliseum, he could not see one empty seat in the whole stadium.  Then he saw an empty seat a couple rows in front of him so he walked down and asked the guy next to that seat if he knew the person whose seat that was.

The guy responded, “Yeah, you see that’s my wife’s seat and we haven’t missed a game since the sixties, but she’s dead now.”

The fan told the guy he was sorry and that it’s a shame he couldn’t find any family member or friend to come to the game with him.

The guy says, “well, they would except they’re all at her funeral.”

Barry says he learned this joke when he was a teenager of approximately fifteen years of age.  His father taught him this as both were fans of the Los Angeles/ Oakland Raiders.  Barry recalls his father supplying him with a new joke practically everyday, which he would then teach to his friends at school.

Barry believes that this story could be applied to any sports’ team and it would have the same impact, as is the case that is seen through the annotation (below.)  The punch line of this joke is that all the other family members are at his wife’s funeral, but he is not at the funeral because he is watching the ball game instead.  There is a whole genre of these jokes that revolve around men’s lack of sympathy for their significant others, many of which focus on the wife’s death and the husband missing her funeral to go to a game or out fishing.

Annotation: This joke was found at:

http://humorvault.tripod.com/sports.html