Tag Archives: humor

Garabed and Vartan

Nationality: Armenian
Age: 63
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 23, 2017
Primary Language: Armenian
Language: Arabic, English

G: I have heard they have increased the price of vodka.

V: Nah, that’s imposible.

G: My friend Garabed, why do you think so?

V: It’s priceless…

Background information: This is a popular Armenian joke. Garabed and Vartan are recurring characters in Armenian jokes.

Context: The informant told me this joke in a conversation about folklore.

Thoughts: Vartan greatly values vodka, so much so that he can’t put a price on it; it’s too good to be priced accordingly, which is why it’s impossible for the cost to increase. It’s a funny and witty joke.

Garabed and Miss Makrouhi 

Nationality: Armenian
Age: 63
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 23, 2017
Primary Language: Armenian
Language: Arabic, English

MM: You have six apples and you give half to your brother Hagop, how many apples will be left?

G: That’s obvious! Five and a half apples, Miss Makrouhi.

Background information: This is an Armenian joke. Hagop and Garabed are recurring characters in Armenian jokes.

Context: The informant told me about this in a conversation about Armenian folklore

Thoughts: This plays on the definition of the word “half.” It can either mean half of the entire set of apples, which means three apples, or mean half of an apple. Garabed uses this to his advantage, trying to keep as much apples as possible, and to give less apples to his brother. This is a common trope between siblings, kind of like a sibling rivalry. I think it’s quite a witty joke.

Hagop and Dr. Vartan

Nationality: Armenian
Age: 63
Occupation: Nurse
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 23, 2017
Primary Language: Armenian
Language: Arabic, English

Hague goes to Dr. Vartan.

V: You are such an educated person, why did you go to a witch doctor?

H: I don’t know.

V: What was the stupid thing he advised you to do?

H: Well, he said to come to you.

Background information: This is an Armenian joke. Hague and Vartan are recurring characters in Armenian jokes.

Context: The informant told me this joke in a conversation about folklore.

Thoughts: This is a funny joke, in which one person’s questions backfires on himself and leads to him being insulted to his face. Dr. Vartan wonders why Hague was stupid enough to go to a witch doctor, whose practices Vartan doesn’t believe in (it makes sense – the doctor would obviously think he knows more, since he is formally educated in medical matters). He then asks what was the stupid advice given (since he doesn’t believe in the witch doctor’s powers), and Hague fires back and tells him the stupid advice was to go to Vartan. It is a witty joke, and a clever and inadvertent way to insult someone.

 

“Hacer Conejo”-To Rabbit

Nationality: Colombia
Age: 82
Occupation: Real Estate Broker
Residence: Sherman Oaks, California
Performance Date: 3/25/2017
Primary Language: Spanish
Language: English

“Hacer Conejo” – an expression meaning to bail out on the check at a restaurant incorporates folk simile, folk gesture and humor. Holding up two fingers (index and middle fingers in a spread out V) behind your head means you are thinking about doing “conejo” and lets the others in your group to get ready to run without paying the bill. It is also a way to freak out a friend who is still eating and scare them in to thinking you are about to bail out. When I asked my grand Aunt Marlly, who had married my Grandfather’s brother, she said she had never hear of the story and the expression that it sounded rather sordid. I realized that the story was attached to what social economic level you grew up in. My grand aunt came from an upper class family, while my Grandfather and all of his brothers came from a poorer lower class family where being able paying the bill was not always possible. My Grandmother came from an impoverish class that would never even think about eating in a restaurant in the first place, but she was aware of the expression and knew people who had gotten away with it. The trick was to be a very fast runner and not to have eaten too much.

Analysis: This folk simile, to my maternal grandfather, is more of a humorous gag expression, meant to scare or outrage the other diners you were with. Making the gesture is a way to get a point across without tipping your hand. I personal think is kind of funny, especially when I explain it to other people. In the U.S. the folk gesture of the rabbit ears made with the fingers has a different meaning and when I explain what it means in Colombia, I usually get a laugh or extreme fascination.

Pastuso Jokes

Nationality: Colombian
Age: 76
Occupation: Retired Truck Driver
Residence: Claremont, California
Performance Date: 4/16/2017
Primary Language: Spanish
Language: Basic English

The following are jokes about people from a region of Colombia that is far removed from the capital of Bogota. They are known as Pastuso Jokes. They are usually very long like most Colombian jokes which usually follow long storytelling format so I picked 3 of the shortest to give a fair representation. These were repeated by my grand uncle at an Easter dinner and different ones are told at every gathering.

The Pastuso having just arrived in Bogota wanted to go to the market and was told that he could wait for the bus or walk there, he was given directions that said “go to the other side of the street and make a left at the corner and then walk two kilometers and the market will be on the right side of the street.” He waited for a while and no bus arrived but he saw a man on his front lawn, he went over to the man spoke to him and crossed the street again. Then still uncertain, he asked someone who was now waiting at the bus stop and asked “where is the other side of the street?” The man said “it right over there (pointing to the man on the lawn)” and the Pastuso said “but I was just over there and they told me the same thing.” (Insert laugh here)

A Pastuso went to the Capitol (Bogota), he was told by a someone who was from the capitol to remember that money calls to money – meaning those who have money seem to attract others with money so that a peasant from Pasto would largely be ignored- so not expect too much. But the Pastuso, never having been to the capitol was super excited because he thought of a plan. He went to the bank and exchanged all of his small bills (100 pesos) for the largest bill he could get (20,000 pesos) and then he went outside of the bank to wait for the bank to close. After the bank was closed for the day he shoved the 20,000 peso bill under the door of the bank holding it by the corner, hoping the bill would call out to the other bills in the bank. But a gust of wind came and he lost grip of the bill and it was sucked into the bank. The Pastuso stood up scratching his head and said “I guess all those bill in the bank called out to my bill more loudly.” (Insert laugh here)

A Pastuso went to the store to buy a poncho, and asked the storeowner how do I put on the poncho” The store owner looked at the Pastuso and said “just open up the poncho and put your head through the hole, easy.” So the Pastuso went home and spread out the poncho on the floor and jumped head first into the hole. (Insert laugh here)

Analysis: The last one is my favorite because it is actually the most translatable and therefore the funniest. My grand uncle Arturo loves telling “Pastuso” Jokes They are the American equivalent to dumb blonde jokes or Polish Jokes. Pasto is a city in the southern most regions of Colombia near the boarder of Ecuador nestle in the Andean Mountain range, making the city very isolated. The people who live there are mostly peasants and uneducated blue color workers. Probably because of its isolation more than the average IQ score, they have been the targets of jokes that exemplify extreme acts of stupidity. The distance from the Capitol does make Pastusos appear to be more provincial especially when they come to the big city. These jokes seem funnier in Spanish, especially when drinking vast amounts of alcohol. A lot is lost in translation.