Monthly Archives: May 2012

“It’s a Hard Knock Bootcamp…..”

Nationality: American
Age: 25
Occupation: National Guard
Residence: Savannah, Georgia
Performance Date: March 13, 2012
Primary Language: English
Language: spanish

My cousin in Military bootcamp for the National Guard in Fort Leonardwood, MO wrote me a letter, and in it she wrote the lyrics to a song that they had made-up in the camp, including her little annotations in parentheses:

(“It’s a Hard Knock Life” melody)

 

Hot guys we never see

Ice cream we don’t get to eat

Mountain climbers, 30x a day (an exercise that sucks)

Then it’s back to scrubbing this bay…

-It’s a hard knock life-

Have to hold our cups to our chests

Always told we look a mess

Holy crap private, front leaning rest (down to pushup position)

You’ll never pass your PT test..

-It’s a hard knock life-

Army Greens and MRE’s (“meal ready to eat”-packaged food you take camping)

5 minute showers and 2 second pees

Trail mix is always gone

Our bunks are always wrong…

-It’s a hard knock life-

We used to play beer pong

Now we march all day long

We always avoid going to the pit (where you get “smoked” with PT)

In formation we aren’t allowed to spit…

-It’s a hard knock life-

I used to do my hair

Now I don’t even care

We used to shave our legs

Gunna throw-up if we have to eat more eggs..

-It’s a hard knock life-

Stand in the freezing rain

Get frostbite, feel the pain

Fingers are broken and I wanna cry

‘cuz I gotta write a 5,000 word RBI (paper you have to write when in trouble)

-It’s a hard knock life-

I really hate to pack

My entire life in that small rucksack (nothing ever fits)

For breakfast we eat lots of cake (drill sgts call pancakes, waffles, and biscuits “cake”)

After a 20 minute run, it clearly was a mistake…

-It’s a hard knock life-

Ask a male to hold my gun

Then we had to drop as one (pushups- “can’t” talk to boys)

I tried to plead my case

But all I got was a “half right face” (position you move to before getting smoked)

-It’s a hard knock life-

People eating candy

Playing pool and watching tv

Boy I can’t wait until that’s me

Living life at AIT! (2nd part-advanced individual training)

-It’s a hard knock life-

 

The informant enjoys singing this song because it helps pass the time and it lightens the mood of bootcamp and brings everyone closer.

party man

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: March 5, 2012
Primary Language: English

There was a man a few decades ago in the Pasadena/Attadena area of California who tried Ecstasy for the first time when he was 13, and after that his life changed for good and his life became one of sin. He went to crazy parties all the time, especially at this one man named Zaraketh’s house which was at the top of this hill on a one-way street. Zaraketh hosted parties lasting for a week or longer, his house essentially becoming a nudist colony.  After Zaraketh died, he is said to have left his house to the homeless, so now if you drive up the hill at night, your car is swarmed by crazy homeless people.

a take on Gravity Hill

Nationality: American
Age: 21]
Occupation: student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: 4/20/2012

In Attadena, CA there’s a place called gravity hill and if you put your car in neutral, your car will go backwards seemingly uphill, however it’s just an optical illusion for the hill is actually sloping downwards. Also, if you put baby powder on your windshield before doing this, fingerprints will begin to appear as if someone were pushing your car “uphill”.

the natives want their land back…

Nationality: American
Age: 19
Occupation: student
Residence: Eugene, Oregon
Performance Date: April 03, 2012
Language: Chinese

A tiny island off the coast of Keat’s Island, British Columbia was owned by Natives then sold to a man because they thought it was too small for any use. The man managed to build a home and get a bulldozer on the island to build a road which wouldn’t have even been a mile from end-to-end.  When the Natives saw how much use this land was serving the man, they decided to take it back. The man took his house with him and a few months later it was mysteriously burned to the ground. It is said that it was the Natives who burned it down out of spite for the man taking his home with him…

KKK in Pasadena

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Occupation: student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 19, 2012

Cara’s friend’s dad’s friend was kidnapped by the KKK at their supposed meeting place in the haunted forest in Pasadena.