You can only eat so much Cake

My informant first heard this phrase from his father-in-law, James Wolford, who was a very hard working and laborious farmer.  Robert said it to his daughter, Lauren, in regards to her lifestyle at the time.  She had graduated from college a few years prior, circa 2000) and had not yet attempted to find a career.  She thought she was living the dream because it was like a constant vacation.

To Robert, this phrase means that there comes a time when you can have too much of a good thing, in Lauren’s case, carefree vacation time.  If you are on vacation all of the time, you will soon lose appreciation for it.  There has to be some contrast in your life, meaning you must work hard and the vacation should serve as a reward.  Additionally, he said it with the implication that she would soon be “off the payroll” and would have to be financially self-sufficient.  This phrase is important to him and he chooses to remember and use it because he lives by it himself.  He does not want to retire early because he knows he will eventually get bored of vacation.

The phrase’s literal meaning parallels its figurative meaning because one can literally only eat so much cake before they get sick or tired of the taste.  Too much of a good thing can be bad.  If someone vacations all of the time, they will lose ambition, devotion, character, among other things.  Work is good for people mentally and physically, and should be rewarded with a vacation.

“Cry me a river, build a bridge and get over it.”

Sumner heard this item of folklore from her father, Henry Billingsley, who does not know where it originated.  He would use it often when Sumner was growing up (circa 1992), most commonly when she would whine or complain about an issue.

When Sumner would hear the proverb, she would instantly know that no complaining would be tolerated and that her father would not sympathize with her.  She interprets the proverb to mean that if she is experiencing a problem, she must recognize the problem, find a solution, and solve the problem.  You must not just sit there and whine about it, you must be proactive and actually do something.  My informant believes that this proverb is a humorous way to illustrate the steps it takes to overcome an issue.  The first step is recognition.  If the problem is not recognized, you will not be able to find a solution.  If you do not find a solution, you will never be able to overcome the problem.  To Sumner, “crying the river” is a sarcastic way implying that you can whine about the issue initially, but the substance of the proverb lies in “building the bridge and getting over it,” meaning that whining will not be tolerated for long, and something must be done.

This proverb is especially important to Sumner because it is part of what sculpted her character as a child.  Today she takes pride in the fact that she is pretty tough skinned and refuses to let things bother her enough to whine about them.  Now she even uses the proverb when appropriate.

This is a widespread saying that I heard most frequently when I was in high school.  My parents would not usually say it to me, but my friends would commonly use it.  I believe teenagers are the most typical audience because they are consumed with themselves and their own problems, never wanting to trouble themselves with anyone else’s problems.  It is a simple way to tell them to just get over it and stop complaining.  Additionally, I see a deeper meaning to the proverb.  The act of building a bridge signifies that in order to get over problems, work is involved.  You have to make a conscious decision to do what it takes to solve the recognized problem.  Also, because this proverb was so common, I have heard a truncated variation of it; “cry me a river.”  This was always said figuratively and sarcastically because the informant was not literally asking the recipient to cry or whine.  The rest of the saying was insinuated; the speaker was clearly implying for the other person to move on past their problem.

When there’s a will there’s a way

My informant does not know where it originated because it is used so commonly, however she said it is especially important to her because it has applied to multiple aspects of her life.  This is a proverb that Sumner lives by, and often gives as advice to other people.  The audience always varies because she uses it so constantly.  Whenever someone is expressing to her that they want something, Sumner will tell them “when there’s a will, there’s a way;” meaning if they want something badly enough, there is always a way they can get it, they just have to get creative!  Sumner interprets this to mean exactly what it says.  She believes there is always a solution and that “there is no shame in doing what it takes to get the job done, as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else.”  Additionally, she said that it goes hand in hand with advice her father would always give her; “if you want something, you have to take it, because no one’s gonna give you anything in life.”

Sumner partially credits the importance of this proverb to one specific instance, when she was applying to the University of Southern California.  USC tried to make her a spring admit, claiming she was as qualified as the fall admits, but there was not enough room.  Sumner said, “I wanted to come in the fall and I came in the fall!”  What kept Sumner motivated was that she was convinced that one desk in a classroom really would not make a difference, especially when half of the kids would not go to class anyway.  Sumner definitely had the “will” to go to school in the fall, she just had to focus on, and create a “way” to make it happen.  Sumner contacted at least one counselor at the school twice every week.  She would continually ask if there were any spaces, if any spaces had opened up, if there was anything else she could be doing, and if there was anyone else she should be talking to.  She just proved to them that she really wanted to be there, and then figured they would let her in.  Sure enough, as soon as a spot opened up, she was the first to be admitted.  Her persistence was the “way” in this scenario.  This incident just reinforced in her mind that when there is a will, there is most definitely a way.

I interpret this proverb to mean that if you are persistent, ambitious, and show determination, you will be able to achieve your goals if they are within reason. However, you must be sure not to harm others or sacrifice your own character to get there.  This proverb must be kept in perspective with what is important.  You must stop and think about what you are willing to sacrifice to get what you want, how badly you want it, and proceed from there.  All in all, it encourages people to take fate into their own hands and be proactive, rather than rely upon other situations and people and just accept the results.