Author Archives: Kathryn Hillman

Proverb

“you have to kiss a lot of frogs”

My informant does not know where this proverb originated, but assumes it comes from the old theme of “prince charming,” the staple character in many different fairy tales.  She thinks it most likely stems from the story about the princess that kissed a frog, who then turned into a prince and they lived happily ever after.  Kathy interprets this proverb to mean that you must always keep trying, in every aspect of life.  The phrase is usually said in reference to one’s romantic life, meaning you must “kiss a lot of frogs” before you find the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with.  But with every situation in life, there will be obstacles and problems.  You must continue to always keep trying and you will find the perfect fit.

Kathy said this proverb to her daughter Lauren.  Although it did apply to her romantic life, my informant was referring to other aspects of her daughter’s life as well.  Kathy was mainly referring to Lauren’s attempt to finding a career.  In 2007, Lauren did not like the job that she had.  Lauren also did not like both jobs she had previous to that.  She is on her third frog and has still not found her prince.  Kathy said it to Lauren to try to be encouraging, telling her “you are just kissing frogs right now, trying things out.  So far none of the jobs have been your nirvana but you have to get out there and keep trying and eventually you’ll find your prince.”  My informant remembers this phrase and continues to use it because she believes it to be very encouraging.  In hindsight, she claims that she is so happy with her life decisions and situation because she had persistence and motivation to keep trying until satisfied.

I interpret this proverb in the same way as Kathy.  At first it seems as though it only references one’s romantic life, but there is a deeper meaning.  The proverb is applicable to so many different aspects of life.  It is a motivational proverb, paralleling with “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again,” and just the idea of persistence, ambition, and not giving up.  When implied to reference a person’s love life, it also parallels the proverb “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.”  The princess may be able to see something in that frog that is invisible to others.  The fact that he turns into a handsome prince after she kisses him acts almost as a reward for not acting in a shallow fashion.

Tradition

Nationality: Japanese-American
Age: 54
Occupation: Housewife
Residence: Laguna Beach, CA
Performance Date: March 2, 2007

Traditional weekend in Laguna Beach, CA

On Labor Day weekend, in 1990, my informant planned the first of many annual trips to Laguna Beach, California.  She invited three different families, all of which had children that were friends with her children.  They all stayed in the Hotel Laguna for the weekend and went to the beach everyday.  Since then, they have gone every consecutive year on Labor Day weekend.  More and more families continue to join in the tradition, and some of the children make as much of an effort as to come home from college just for that trip.  It has become a summertime tradition and has enabled my informant to create and become part of a folkgroup.

Kathy cherishes this weekend in Laguna that has become a tradition for our family because it is a reliable and secure weekend of vacation time and relaxation.  This trip has become especially important to her since her children went away to college.  Kathy continues this tradition because it is her favorite weekend of the year and she treasures the time she gets to spend with her family.  She really anticipates it all year long.

Ten to fifteen families come to Laguna every year now, meaning the tradition is becoming more popular and the folkgroup is expanding.  Throughout the years, items of folklore within the tradition have developed.  The children always have to go to the Laguna Beach Brewery on Saturday night, they always pick a “song of the summer,” and they always goes to the same restaurant, Mosun, as soon as they arrive on Friday.  To Kathy, Laguna Beach is not just a place but is now a tradition.

I think this is an important item of folklore because it is common for people to lose the strong connection that one should have with their family.  Family traditions are among the most important in my opinion because maintaining close ties with your family is a feeling that cannot be satisfied elsewhere.  Regardless of how often Kathy sees her children throughout the year, she will undoubtedly get to bond with them during the vacation.

Tradition – Japan

Nationality: Japanese
Performance Date: March 5, 2007

“Itadakimas”

My family says “Itadakimasu” before we eat every meal.  The literal translation is “I gratefully receive.”  My grandmother brought this tradition to us from Japan, her native country.  It is common Japanese etiquette to say “Itadakimasu” before you begin eating your meal.  My grandmother believes it is very important to show appreciation for everything and to demonstrate through this word how grateful you are for the food that is on the table in front of you.  However, when she came to the United States in 1953 she did everything she could to Americanize herself.  She abandoned all of her Japanese traditions, in hopes of being accepted as an American citizen, so my mother did not learn about “Itadakimasu” during her early childhood.  However, after about 10 years my grandmother became comfortable enough in the country and gained enough confidence to where she felt as if she could identify with and represent her Japanese heritage again.  Among other things, saying “Itadakimasu” before every meal was one of the first traditions she implemented into her families life in America.

My mother sees this saying as more than just Japanese etiquette.  It is important to her and she is adamant about her family saying it because it represents the time when her mother gained a sense of pride and began identifying with her heritage.  She knows that Susie had a very difficult time in the US upon arrival and it was an enormous step for her to share part of the Japanese culture with her children.  My mother takes pride in her descent so she has always been persistent in implementing not only “Itadakimasu,” but other Japanese traditions.

I also take pride in being of Japanese descent, so I frequently use this item of folklore, and will pass it on to my family in the future.  I find this item to be interesting because it represents the etiquette of many different cultures.  Some families say “grace,” some have no traditions at all, some have to hold hands while they pray, etc.  There are so many different items of folklore that revolve around food etiquette and they vary all over the world.

Annotation:  “Helping Americans adapt to the Japanese cultural system.”  Barbara Sagara, Brian H Kleiner. Management Research News. Parington: 2001.Vol.24, Iss. ¾; pg. 137.

Proverb

Nationality: German, Swedish, Black, Irish
Age: 30
Occupation: Hairdresser
Residence: Seal Beach, CA
Performance Date: April 10, 2007

“Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched.”

Aesop first said this saying, circa 570 B.C, in the fable “The Milkmaid and Her Pail.”  The story behind the proverb: “Patty, a farmer’s daughter, is daydreaming as she walks to town with a pail of milk balanced on her head. Her thoughts: “The milk in this pail will provide me with cream, which I will make into butter, which I will sell in the market, and buy a dozen eggs, which will hatch into chickens, which will lay more eggs, and soon I shall have a large poultry yard. I’ll sell some of the fowls and buy myself a handsome new gown and go to the fair, and when the young fellows try to make love to me, I’ll toss my head and pass them by.” At that moment, Patty tossed her head and lost the pailful of milk. Her mother admonished, “Do not count your chickens before they are hatched.”

My informant’s mother told this proverb to her.  Rebekah interprets the proverb to mean that you should not rely on something unless it a for sure thing.  She first heard the proverb when Rebekah was 20, in 1997, and was planning to go to Europe.  She told everyone that she was going to go and began preparing for the trip.  She bought clothes for the trip, books on where they would travel, and was ecstatic about going.  She did not have her plane tickets yet, but the person she was going to travel with told her they had not yet booked the flights but to not worry about it because there would be no problems.  Her friend ended up having a conflict and she was not able to go on the trip that she had anticipated.  She was really upset, and was complaining to her mother about her situation.  Her mother told her that she should “never count her chickens before they are hatched.”  By this she meant that nothing is every a definite thing until it happens.  Plans can always very easily fall through.

Rebekah remembers this proverb and applies it to her own life frequently because she does not like to be let down.  She thinks anticipation is a good thing if it is kept within moderation, but if you have high expectations, it is likely that you may end up disappointed.

I have heard this proverb used many times, always in regards to maintaining a realistic level of expectation for something, and I agree with it completely.  I parallel the saying with a different saying, “hope for the best, but expect the worst.”  If a person controls their expectations, they will never be disappointed because the result will always exceed what it is they expect.

Annotation:  Wallechinsky, David and Wallace Irving.  Origins of Sayings” (1975). Retrieved April 10, 2007, from http://www.trivia-library.com/b/origins-of-sayings-dont-count-your-chickens-before-they-hatch.htm.

Custom – Madrid, Spain

Nationality: Caucasian
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: San Francisco, CA

The “Siesta” in Madrid, Spain

My informant visited Madrid, Spain in 2003.  He knew that the lifestyle in Madrid is focused primarily on the nightlife, but was shocked to see how well the citizens and government of Spain had catered toward this night-owl lifestyle.  Gareth never understood how families would eat dinner at midnight and still be able to show up for work in the morning.  He assumed they had adapted to some sort of sleepless life.  When Gareth arrived, he very quickly found out about the “Siesta.”  All of Madrid, the restaurants, shops, offices, etc., close at around 1:30 in the afternoon.  All of the workers go home for their lunch break, which to my informants surprise lasted usually until 5.  The workers take this three-hour lunch break and sleep so they are rejuvenated for the next couple hours of work and the full night that lay before them.  The Spanish people take the siesta very seriously as well.  They advise you to disconnect all telephones, find a comfortable bed or couch, and not let anything disturb you.

Gareth quickly adapted to this lifestyle, and informed me that the nightlife in Madrid completely surpasses its reputation.  Families are seen out eating dinner past midnight, all of the teenagers go to bars and clubs, and everyone is friendly and fun to be around.  Gareth said, “I went out every single night I was in Madrid.  Usually I got home around 3 or 4 in the morning.  On an early night, you might make it home by 2.  Let me just say, you are so relieved to sleep when siesta rolls around the next day.”

This custom is a remarkable item of folklore because the people of Spain have successfully molded their lifestyles, sleeping patterns, eating habits, and careers to adapt to the lifestyle they prefer.  Their entire culture has adapted to the crazy nightlife, which I find unbelievable.  This also emphasizes how much one can learn from traveling.  Tourism today is easy and prevalent because it is cheaper and more convenient than ever.  Many cultures have begun catering to tourism, but I am glad that Madrid does not change its culture to adapt to those visiting.  In fact, it is the tourist that must adapt to Madrid and encompass the siesta custom.