Author Archives: Matthew Arbanas

Legend – Scotland

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Nationality: Scottish
Age: 86
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Portland, OR
Performance Date: April 25, 2008
Primary Language: English

“When I was a boy, I remember hearing about the first sighting of the Loch Ness monster. I was about ten and my parents made a big deal about it, because they had been to the town of Inverness and had seen the Glen area and Loch Ness where the monster supposedly was seen. The Loch is like a freshwater lake, and there is a lot of activity surrounding it. The monster soon was in the news and was described like a swimming dinosaur with a very small head and webbed feet. There were even a few pictures taken of her. We called the monster Nessie, and over the years, she became very real for our family. There have continued to be sightings of her throughout the years. I remember one where she was actually walking on land, but I think the majority of them have been of her swimming in the lake. I used to tell your Mom stories about the monster. It was very friendly. Kind of like a good serpent who was there to protect and help others. Whenever we would go camping at Frog Lake on Mount Hood, she would think that the monster was there too. I used to tell here, “Jenny don’t swim too far out or the monster will get you.” That kept her close to shore. I like to believe that she is like a mythical character. Part magic and part real.  I know that the legend will endure forever. She reminds me of Bigfoot, because there has been so much written about her and everyone in Scotland, and from Scottish decent, knows the stories.  The Loch Ness monster is one of the most famous stories in Scotland, and one of my favorite memories of boyhood.”

My Grandfather told me that the first time that he heard about the Loch Ness monster was from his Grandfather. His Grandfather was the superintendent of the dock and would always hear stories from fishermen claiming that they had seen the monster while out on the water. This greatly stimulated his belief in the monster. The belief about the Loch Ness Monster can also be seen in the book Scotland: A Tourists’ Guide. Even though my grandpa now lives in the United States, he continued to tell his children about the Loch Ness monster. He used the story almost as a scare tactic to prevent my mother and her siblings from going out too far into any body of water, warning them that the monster could be lurking under the waves.

In recent years, the claims of Loch Ness monster sightings have increased tremendously. People now are coming forward with pictures and video images of the monster as proof. Many of them have been disregarded as fake. Nonetheless, people ambitiously travel to Loch Ness in hopes of being the one to capture footage of the beast. I found it interesting that in my Grandfather’s version of the tale, Nessie is seen as friendly, kind of protecting those in the water and around the area. It seems that in modern times, the media has spun this image and now Nessie is perceived to be a menacing monster. This is especially evident in the most publications about Nessie in the United States.

Annotation: Colourmaster Series. Scotland: A Tourists’ Guide. Printed and published in Great Brittain by Photo Precision Limited, St. Albans.

Folk Recipe – Norway

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Nationality: Norwegian
Age: 84
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Portland, OR
Performance Date: April 25, 2008
Primary Language: English

Bergen Soup and Fish Dumplings

Ingredients: Soup and Fish Dumplings

3 quarts of fish stock

4 carrots cut in 1 in by ¼ inch sticks

1 large celeriac peeled and cut into 1 inch by ¼ inch sticks

2 small parsally roots

2 celery stocks chopped

1 to 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour for thickening (if needed)

1 cup of heavy (whipping) cream

2 tablespoons of sugar

¼ cup of good red wine vinegar

1 half cup of salted veal stock

Fine sea salt

1.5 lbs of mixed fish filet cut into 2 in chunks

3 large egg yokes

One 8 oz container of sour cream

Chopped fresh chives

Directions:

Bring the fish stock to a boil in a large pot. Add the vegetables. Reduce the heat and let it simmer for five minutes.  And if you choose to use the flour, whisk it together with the cream in a small bowl. Add the cream to the soup and bring it to a boil. Then add the sugar and vinegar to taste. The soup should have a subtle sweet and sour flavor. Then add the veal stock and salt to taste. Then add the fish (fish dumplings). Bring to a boil and reduce the heat and simmer 7 to 8 minutes until the fish just barely cook. In the mean time whisk together the sour cream and egg yoke in a small bowl. Poor the soup into the soup bowls, dividing the fish and dumplings evenly. Gently stir 2 to 3 tablespoons of the sour cream mixture into each bowl and sprinkle with chives.

My Grandma told me that as far as her mother was concerned, it was the Christmas soup. However, she is sure that they had it at other times because fish is such a staple Norway. She told me that with all the mountains and snow around, they would take the fish that they caught during the spring and summer and pack them with salt and eat them during the winter. When they made the soup it was often served with potato lefsa, another traditional Norwegian food.

Her mother served it every Christmas. Because they were not extremely wealthy, they would save whatever sugar and ingredients they had throughout the coming months to make the soup. They made it every Thanksgiving and Christmas, yet it was mainly known as the Christmas soup. Because the recipe is so time consuming, one needs to be taught how to do it the first couple times around. My Grandmother learned how to do it by watching and aiding her mother in the preparation. The recipe is kind of vague and a lot of things are done to taste so there are many ways that one can adapt it.

We have never made it for Christmas in my family. The tradition has kind of been lost but my Grandmother is trying to bring it back. When I asked my other family members if they ever remembered having the Christmas soup, their facial expressions turned to disgust and they told me that it is not very good. I also believe that we have not had that much Norwegian food because the BBQ has taken over. The Norwegian food took a long time to prepare to the point where everybody had known how to prepare it. The recipes were all time consuming. Our modern day substitute for the Christmas fish soup has become clam chowder.

Proverb – Scottish

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Nationality: Norwegian, Scottish
Age: 48
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Portland, OR
Performance Date: April 23, 2008
Primary Language: English

“Choose your wife with her nightcap on”

My mother told me that my great grandpa used to tease my grandfather and his brothers about the women that they were dating. From an early age, they learned the Scottish saying “choose your wife with her nightcap on.” Taken literally what this meant was that you are going to wake up with somebody without out their makeup up on and their hair messy, and they are going to be in their true form. Because of this, you will get to see what they are really like so you should make sure that you still like that person without them being all done up. One can take it further to mean that you should get to know the real person. My mother tells that her father used to tell her brother, “Don’t marry the prettiest one; marry the one that is your true soul mate.” You should not just focus on the appearance of the person but rather on their personality and their compatibility with yourself when choosing a mate.

My mom said that today our saying for this would be “beauty is more than skin deep.” You need to get to know the real person and not get lured into what people look like. “Don’t always go for the prettiest girl; go for girls with personality.” I used to hear this all growing up from my parents whenever I would go do something with girls. I really enjoy this saying and I think that it applies tremendously to the Los Angeles culture and lifestyle. So much of living in Southern California is being caught up in the materialistic elements of this society and people are so often focused on the outward appearance as an indicator of ones worth. More people should heed the advice in this saying and they would be better off.

Proverb – Scottish

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Nationality: Norwegian, Scottish
Age: 48
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Portland, OR
Performance Date: April 23, 2008
Primary Language: English

“The clan is stronger than the chief”

As a child, my mom grew up with 27 first cousins. My Grandpa was one of 7 children and they all lived in the same neighborhood. My mom’s family belonged to the clan McClay that met monthly at the Scottish rite in Portland. The clan was a very important part of my mom’s childhood. Her sisters danced the “highland fling” and her brother played the bagpipes. All of her cousins were involved in the clan McClay and the people in these gatherings became an extended family. Every holiday when my mom was little, they gathered at the Scottish rite for parties. The saying refers back historically to when Scotland was ruled by Kings. It means that there is always an ability to overthrow a government if you were not happy with it and that collectively the members were stronger than any one individual. The Clan in Gaelic means children of the family. My mother remembers that her parents used this saying to guilt trip her into going to events that she was not particularly excited about attending.  The clan McKay was extremely important to her parents and grandparents. It did not matter what was going on with the family or if she thought that it was stupid and that no one wanted to go, it was like church. You had to go. It was very social. It was something that you had to do. The clan always came before any individual obligation.

I can recall soccer coaches utilizing a different version of this saying when describing the importance of the team performance as a whole versus the endeavors of one individual player. What they meant was that the game cannot be won by just one person. It takes eleven players working hard together to be successful. This saying is extremely dynamic and is applied to almost any facet of activities involving multiple people. This saying become increasingly important as we are currently in the process of electing a new president of this nation. While we recognize that this is an important position to be filled by a capable candidate, we do not forget that it is the collective people of our nation that make it strong.

Joke – Los Angeles

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Nationality: American
Age: 20
Occupation: Student
Residence: Tarzana, CA
Performance Date: April 29, 2009
Primary Language: English

“There is an American man, Italian man, and a Chinese man. And they are working in a mine. So the head of the mine, like their boss in the mine gives them each something to do. So he says to the American man go get me some shovels and be back in three hours. And he says to the Italian man go get me some lanterns and be back in three hours. And he says the Chinese man go get me some supplies and be back in three hours. So three hours goes by and the American man comes strolling in with his shovels, and the boss says nice job. And so about ten minutes later the Italian man comes walking in. The Italian man comes walking in with his lanterns and the boss says good job. So then about 15…20 minutes passes by and there is still no sign of the Chinese man. About one more hour passes by and there is still no Chinese guy. And so they are looking around and they are like where the fuck is the Chinese man. All of a sudden they are looking around and the Chinese man pops out from behind a rock and yells Supplies!”

His dad told him this when he was younger and he said that it was always so corny. He told me that the joke is a play off of the fact that Chinese people when speaking English get their Ls and their Rs mixed up. He told me that whenever his dad would tell the joke he would always interchange the part of the American and the Italian as well as the tasks that they would have to perform. However, the part of regard the Chinese man always remains the same.

When analyzing the joke, I found that it plays into the stereotypes surrounding the Chinese. The first, that Chinese are unable to complete simple tasks, especially in comparison with American and Italian people, who in this case are deemed a superior race. The second is the play on their speaking ability, and how they confuse L and R when pronouncing words that contain them. It is a very racial joke and most likely intended for an audience that does not contain those of Chinese decent. Brandon does not recall if the version he told me was exactly the same as the one that he heard from his father. There are areas where one can change the joke around for their own personal preference. For example, Brandon told me that it can work well if you have a friend hide and then pop out to surprise the audience while yelling the punch line.