Category Archives: Humor

“Christ on a Cracker!”

Nationality: American
Age: 60
Occupation: Writer
Language: English

Context

Over the summer, I had said this phrase in front of a friend on a long walk back home. Given that my friend had never heard it before, I thought I had come up with it! I couldn’t remember where I had first heard it. Cut to a conversation with my mother about a month later and, lo and behold, I am not as original as I thought. My mother had heard it before, but where, she couldn’t say. We’ve certainly heard it said before, either to or around us. Otherwise, how could we have known it?

“Christ on a cracker” is an expletive phrase, used to express frustration or shock. It also serves as a minced oath, a watered-down form of more tabooistic wording, in this case a form of “Christ” or “Jesus Christ.”

Analysis

Unlike other minced oaths, which use euphemism to mask taboo words, this one doesn’t fully embrace euphemism to hide the societal taboo, in this case taking the Abrahamic God’s name in vain. “Christ” leads the phrase front and center, perhaps even “Jesus Christ” if you feel so compelled. Rather, it relies on humorous alliteration to compensate for the taboo it’s trying to avoid. The use of “cracker” brings to mind communion bread, so there’s another possible religious connection for the exact wording.

There’s also an element of absurdism in this phrase. It immediately puts an image of the Messiah on a piece of cooked grain in your mind. Is this another tactic the phrase employs to distract from the taboo language it uses, or is it meant to further violate social conventions?

“When it Hits the Fan”

Nationality: American
Age: 21
Language: English

Context

When thinking of possible folk speech I could include in the archive, I asked my roommates what euphemistic phrases they had heard growing up. One chimed in with “when it hits the fan,” a less offensive version of “when shit hits the fan” that his parents would use around the house growing up. It conveys the same meaning, describing a situation that has suddenly turned disastrous, but employs more polite words. Personally, I’d only ever heard, or used, the original, vulgar version, and I couldn’t find any sources on others who might’ve used this phrase.

Analysis

I think this is a prime example of when we rewrite common, colloquial phrases for a younger audience. Given that I haven’t been able to find many instances of the phrase elsewhere, it seems likely that my roommates parents and the people around him deliberately censored the phrase while he was growing up. I’d argue that de-vulgarized phrases like “when it hits the fan” allows younger members of society to participate in colloquial exchange that they would otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Despite the arbitrariness of words being considered polite or impolite, phrases like this allow children to stretch their linguistic muscles and engage in what would otherwise be too mature for them.

“What the Freak?”

Nationality: American
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Language: English

Context

The informant claims that they were the original source for this saying, and truth-be-told I haven’t heard it anywhere else. Around the time of origination, the word “freak” was making its rounds on the internet. In particular, the song “Nasty” by Tinashe had gone viral, and the lyric “is somebody gonna match my freak?” had become a popular TikTok audio. This led to the word’s more frequent usage, and since it’s aurally similar to the words “frick” or “fuck”  in the phrase “what the frick” or “what the fuck,” that’s probably how it snuck itself into the informant’s vocabulary. 

“What the freak?” is most often used immediately after a person says something tabooistic or off-color. It is mostly synonymous with “who said that?”, the implication being that someone other than the speaker had said something weird, and the speaker is reacting to them. “What the freak” is almost certainly euphemistic in nature, and could be an example of a minced oath, a phrase watered down from a more vulgar starting point (in this case, “what the fuck”).

While the phrase has been recorded online, this particular use of “what the freak” that highlights the absurdity of a statement seems to originate from my friend group.

Analysis

This is definitely not a widespread phrase. Only the informant, our housemates, and even myself are the only ones I’ve heard use it, or at least this specific use-case. But I don’t think it diminishes its value as a piece of spoken folklore circled amongst a close, tight-knit group. It speaks to a level of comfort we all share as friends and roommates, and highlights the safe, weird space we’ve created together. When someone says “what the freak,” it immediately sparks laughter and joy in our living room. I think that speaks to the power of folk speech as a means of creating a community identity.

Two Dogs Fucking – Joke

Nationality: American
Age: 57
Occupation: High School Teacher
Residence: Park Ridge, Illinois
Language: English

The joke, told by RK, goes something along the lines of this:

A young Native American boy looks to his father and asks how he and his siblings got their names. His father responds, “each time your mother gave birth, I walked out of the yurt. The first thing I saw became each of your names. This is how Eagle Flies High got his name, and how your sister Sunrise Dawn got hers too.” The boy thanks his father, and his father says, “no problem, Two Dogs Fucking.”

This joke was taken from a good friend of RK in his childhood (70-80s), and he believes it was also from a movie from around the time, but from which one RK can’t remember. The setup of the joke, while long, is the part with the most embellishment during the telling, often with short asides about how the father looked upon a brilliant sunrise or the majesty of the Eagle passing overhead. The punchline about the two dogs fucking is said almost as an afterthought, adding to the ridiculous name by talking about it as if it were, say, “John”. The joke was so funny to RK and his friends that one of his best friend’s nickname while in Indian Scouts growing up was “2 dogs” in reference to this joke.

This very crude joke is a product of RK’s childhood, and he remembers it fondly because of the memories it brought up. Aside from simply being funny, it became an inside joke amongst their friends, making it a signifier of their friendship long after the first time it was said. The joke was so influential that it inspired a nickname for one of RK’s friends, making it a critical part of their time growing up. The joke itself relies on a stereotype that Native American names are often translated into English as pieces from nature, compared to the more traditional European-style names that are common in the United States, allowing the first two names to seem reasonable. RK grew up in a decently wealthy Chicago suburb that was mostly white, so the relationship to any Native American people or culture is in the medium to allow the names to exist. However, the use of Native American people in general isn’t necessarily needed, making their addition to this joke perpetuate stereotypes that Native American people lack the refinement and common sense of the “normal” American person. More recently jokes that follow this same or similar structure drop the usage of Native American people at all, instead using a nondescript parent/child where children were named after things their parents loved, like how one’s mother loved roses and named their child “Rose”, with the other child “Lightsaber” coming from their father’s love of Star Wars. This readaptation of the joke maintains the same humor setup without having to draw upon making fun of the culture of Native American people.

Don’t Stop at O’Hares – Saying

Nationality: American
Age: 51
Occupation: Middle School Teacher
Residence: Park Ridge, Il
Language: Engligh

This saying was used by MK’s grandmother very often:

Whenever leaving MK’s grandmother’s house, she would say, “…Now go straight home and don’t stop at O’Hare’s unless you’re taking me with.”

This phrase was said by MK’s grandmother every single time they left her house, and MK remembers that she would lean against the door frame the same way every time and talk about how they should visit her again, ending with the same phrase without fail. This phrase means almost exactly as it is said, but essentially means that she hopes MK will get home quickly and safely, without stopping anywhere extra to distract her on the way back. The phrase mentions O’Hare’s, a bar she frequented in her younger days, not to be confused with the Chicago airport of the same name. It is one of MK’s most vivid memories of her grandmother, who she called Sittie. Sittie is Lebanese for grandma, and has been passed through several generations as MK’s family is part Lebanese.

This phrase represents Sittie’s personality and essence to MK, and highlights the type of person she is, even after she had gotten far too old to go back to O’Hare’s for a drink. This phrase is only for use within MK’s family, for those who knew Sittie, and allows Sittie a spot within the family, even after she passed away. Her memory as an effortlessly funny personality that could light up a room while simultaneously seeming a little grumpy culminated in this quip she would say every time MK left her house. Despite being far too old for it, all Sittie really wanted was a good drink at O’Hare’s, right up until the end. After Sittie passed, it also gained an extra meaning, not stopping at O’Hare’s meant Sittie could watch over one’s journey back home as long as they didn’t break her wish and get a drink. Her shift to the guardian of the family, but a petty guardian who still didn’t want to be left out, was a way to honor her life and importance to her family and let some humor back into a death that was devastating to the entire family, what Sittie would have wanted. Despite her no longer being alive, her words still tie the family together and offer protection to the next generation of MK’s family that Sittie never got to see grow up. Despite this, the phrase is still used from time to time, years and years after her death, as a show of familial ties.