To the tune of “Jingle Bells”

Jingle bells

Jingle bells

We will hear no more.

We have captured Butterballs

and nailed him to the floor.

Took his boots

and his loot

only left his socks.

We gave him a beach party

and dumped him off the docks

Splishy, splash

Splishy, splash

We will hear forever more

Now the Fat Man’s hauling toys

Across the ocean floor.

My informant learned this version of jingle bells from a friend of his in elementary school. He and the other “no talent brothers” sang a number of these songs throughout elementary school. This song is sung primarily at christmas time, especially in the car after a version of jingle bells is aired on the radio. The song originally demonstrated the children’s rebellion against parental influences as many children’s songs do. However, my father only introduced this song to my brother and I after we had entered high school, past the point that we would sing it ourselves, so now it reflects more his desire to show that he is still a child at heart.