Ned Kelly (1854 – 1880)

The Informant

R.F. born and raised in Australia provides the following narrative of a bandit well known in Australia pop culture and folklore.

Text

Ned Kelly was a legendary (and one of the last) outlaw bush ranger in Australia with a long history of crime and banditry. His most famous heist was planned on a police train where his gang would derail the train and kill all survivors as revenge against the authority and enable further heists on banks with the police were out of the picture.

Conceived and wore a suit of bullet proof armor into battle.

Image

(The alleged armor made in an improvised bush forge with metal taken from farming equipment, circa 1879)

In the shootout that followed, he was the last one standing with police reporting Ned Kelly’s durability, comparing him to the devil or a ghost, surviving multiple gun shots and seemingly unkillable.

After the last stand, Ned Kelly was brought to trial for execution.

The judge after sentencing Kelly to death by hanging: “May God have mercy on your soul.”

Ned Kelly: “I will see you there where I go.”

Kelly’s mother told him to “die like a Kelly” before his hanging.

“Ah well, I suppose it’s come to this. Such is life.” – Last words at the gallows.

The judge died 12 days later.

Analysis

This urban legend euhemerizes a likely real figure in history by exaggerating his last stand to legendary proportions. It’s particularly interesting that a criminal is being glorified and continues the theme of opposing authority in Australia as exemplified in the ScoMo urban legend. While Australia is sometimes referred to as the wild west of the commonwealth [citation needed], it’s not exactly surprising to see outlaws romanticized in a way similar to America’s Western’s, take Bonnie and Clyde for one cross-cultural example. In a sense, these outlaw figures are also antiheroes representing anti-establishmentarianism, embellished by their spirit of independence and comparable to the trickster who exists on the liminal space between good and evil. Even as the authority figure of the judge sentenced Ned Kelly to death after his valorous last stand, his last legendary deed was taking the judge with him in a single sentence. These traits akin to the trickster likely won the bushranger popularity amongst the folk in Australia.

Australian ScoMo Prime Minister

The Informant

R.F. was born and raised in Australia and is politically active and involved with his local democracy as well as the nation’s news.

Text

A long-standing “rumor,” since it technically can’t be proven, but everyone says it happened. Former Prime Minister Scott Morrison (ScoMo) shat himself in a Macca’s (McDonald’s) in Engadine. According to the informant, ScoMo went to watch his favorte rugby team play, and after they left, he went to a Maccas where he [allegedly] shit himself.

Analysis

This particular urban legend stands out to me as it was not the only urban legend Australia has on their prime ministers, the other being that one simply disappeared into the ocean one day never to be seen again. Although most embarrassing folk narratives about political leaders come from people of other nations, recent years have seen a rise in counterhegemonic distrust of authority and those in power. This is particularly reflected by these Australian urban legends, which combined with the laidback culture of Australia as illustrated by the dropbears and other quirky and humorous Australian slang, culminates into this urban legend regarding Prime Minister ScoMo having the reputation of having defecated into his own undergarments while at a public fast food restaurant.

The Devil’s Tramping Ground

The Informant

The informant (AW) lives in an adjacent county to the Harper’s Crossroad in North Carolina in Bear’s Creek where this legend is reported to be.

Text

A circle that looks like it has been scorched with a burning fire in a park. Nothing grows in this ring, and allegedly, Satan paces around it at night while in contemplation of his evil plans. Objects left in the ring will disappear, and dogs always bark and yowl when they’re nearby, often expressing distress or anxiety and a desire to leave the vicinity. Some say that it was an ancient meeting place for Native Americans.

Analysis

As North Carolina is a fairly Christian state, it’s not surprising that a superstitious area associated with Satan would be Native Americans as settlers displaced them over time. The informant also reported that their state’s history education lacked any details about its history with the indigenous people, but upon further research, I found that there was, of course, violent conflicts between the settlers and the natives. The superstition associating dark magic and satanic phenomenons with “ancient” Native American significance likely reflects a general xenophobic attitude toward the unfamiliar outgroup from the occupants of this colonized land. Just as it’s common for ghost haunting stories to take place on slave plantations and indigenous cemeteries, this likely explains why the largely Christian population associated this location with both the Native Americans and satan.

Not here to fuck spiders

The Informant

RF is an Australian young adult born and raised in New South Wales.

Text

[subject] [copula] “not here to fuck spiders…”

Use

Its meaning is akin to “not here to fuck around,” said sarcastically as a response to being asked what the purpose of presence is.

Person A: Oy, you here to be an ass or what?

Person B: Well, I’m not here to fuck spiders, am I?

Analysis

The phrase reveals two things about Australian culture, one being the prevalence of spiders in not only the Indigenous people but the English speaking settlers thanks to their prevalent natural presence that contributes to the wild reputation of Australian wildlife. The other insight this phrase offers about Australian culture is the casual, crass sense of humor, especially noted by snarky, dry sarcasm which may extend from the nation’s origins as exiles of the British who are also known for their dry sarcasm.

Dropbears in Australia

The Informant

RF is an Australian young adult born and raised in New South Wales.

The Text

Dropbears are known to only attack foreigners, ambush those standing under indigenous Australian trees, falls from branches and grab onto the victim’s neck. Said to attack based on accent, especially Yanks, when foreigners are speaking badly about Australian food. Deterred by putting a fork in your hair or smearing vegemite behind your ears or both. It’s considered every Australian’s duty to warn foreigners of these dangers.

Analysis

The “dropbear” is a rather interesting cultural phenomenon where the entirety of a nation agrees to gaslight any and all foreigners about Australian wildlife as a practical joke. For the fooled foreigners, the “dropbear” appears to be a plausible urban legend until they realize it’s a practical joke. The specificity of accents seems to reflect a sense of pride Australians may have about their uniquely recognizable accent, and similarly, the utilization of an animal may reflect a pride or at least a sense of self-aware humor surrounding the reputation of Australia’s native wildlife, which is required for the victim to believe in the joke. Additionally, the specificity of “Yanks” indicates a tongue-in-cheek distaste of Americans, particularly with an association that they’re loud and annoying and complain too much whenever they visit. This practical joke may have been more effective before the age of the internet when the victim could not simply fact check the existence of this “dropbear,” and given that it’s “every Australian’s duty” to uphold this urban legend to foreigners, several have likely worn forks in their hair in public for the amusement of all the locals around. As with the nature of most practical jokes, once the victim has been played for the fool and realized the prank, everyone has a good laugh with no real hostility as the foreigner now becomes in on the joke and take up the “duty” of warning other foreigners of this danger.