Tag Archives: anniversary

Death Anniversaries

AGE

45

Date of performance

4/30/25

Language

English

Nationality

American

Occupation

Teacher’s Aid

Primary Language

Arabic

Residence

San Diego, CA

Ritual: Funerals, 40 days post death, and the 1-year anniversary

Context + Text: The individual is my mother, and she in an American immigrant from Iraq. I have learned many rituals following the death of people form my community, but the most interesting one’s stem from my mom. According to her, when an individual has passed away, if you are close to them, you are not allowed to leave the house for “happy” things for 40 days. Also, during those days, you should be wearing all black every day. “It’s for sure an interesting ritual we all follow, and it’s even different if you are super close to the individual, as the time period rises to one year instead of just 40 days”. On the 40th day since the death, the same individuals who were there for the funeral gather again to remember them, having a second funeral essentially. For family members, there is then another remembrance on the 1-year anniversary. (It is important to note that one year equals 11 months in this culture for historic reasons). “So, for me my father-in-law had passed away, and I did not attend any celebrations for one year and only wore black, I had to buy so many new clothes”, she continued. While it may be a little over the top, she believes that the new generation will slowly let these rituals die out as they are too much.

Analysis: The revering of the dead has been a tradition for centuries, stemming back to ancient civilizations, especially in the middle east. The individual and her family come from a long line of Iraqis who have held onto these ancient traditions revolving around the dead. Various religions and cultures have adopted similar rituals, as they believe that the one-year anniversary marks a significant period of time to mourn the individual. However, the rituals have subjective ‘guidelines’ as in who must participate in the one-year mourning. This creates all sorts of issues within small communities as they believe that some individuals should be mourning longer or not mourning at all, judging their closeness to the dead person. If an individual is seen celebrating or partying a little too early following the individual’s death, it can be considered disrespect by the family members, and has led to divisions between families and friends.  

Death Anniversary Celebration

Background: The informant is a 54 year old man. He was born in Pampanga, Philippines. The informant grew up as Catholic, later converting to evangelical Christianity and becoming a pastor. He was exposed to the tradition by living in the Philippines. 

Context: The context was, when driving past a funeral procession, she was reminded of the tradition she experienced as a child.

Text:

PG: “During the the 10th anniversary, you know, for catholics, for catholics, if you know, you go to, uh, a church and ask for, uh, offer a mass, you know, you go to church to tell the priest that you want, uh, offer, you want to offer a mass for your, for the death anniversary of your loved ones, right? And then after that, we have, uh, like a celebration in the house, like invite people, friends and family, you know, to, like a party. And then after, and then, but before that, you, in the morning, you know, and also part of it is you go to the cemetery and offer flowers for the anniversary, so that’s the thing.”

Analysis:

Informant: The 10th anniversary is a major milestone when dealing with the anniversary of a loved one. It’s a time to commemorate the dead but also celebrate the person who has died. It doesn’t appear to be a sad celebration, but rather one that is enjoying what life has to offer. 

Mine: While death is a tragic topic, the communal gathering after the death of someone, or on their anniversary, in this case, serves to dispel the tragic thoughts and focus on the happier aspects. In the Catholic tradition, the death anniversary appears to be a moment to celebrate how one has lived, rather than mourn that they are gone. Additionally, it serves as a moment in time for everyone to gather together, whether it be extended families, neighbors, or other community members. Death traditions can actually serve to bring together people the most. Flowers are a traditional gift to leave on gravestones, once again counter to the idea of life ending, as flowers typically symbolize life. By giving flowers on the gravestone, it’s as if they are bringing the dead person back to life for the day, so that they are able to celebrate with them.