Tag Archives: family

“Assume” Saying

Text:

“You know what my Dad loved to do whenever we said the word assume? He’d run to get a piece of paper and write the word assume. Then he’d go ‘You know what happens when you assume? You make an ass out of you and me!’” (As J said the second sentence, she made three motions with her hands as she said the words “ass,” “you,” and “me” to mimic someone underlining the words with a pen or pencil).  

Context:

J, my mother, was taught this saying when she was a young child in Ontario, Canada by my grandfather. She told me this story with a sense of fondness, smiling as she recounted how her father would “run to get a pen and paper” every time she or one of her siblings used the word “assume” in her childhood home. To her, humor seemed to be the main element of her father’s use of the phrase. From what I remember of my own childhood, I haven’t seen her use the phrase-gesture combo, although I have heard the saying. 

Analysis:

To me, this saying’s humorous nature and its accompanying gestures seem to function as emphasis or a form of mnemonic. By breaking down the word “assume” into a memorable phrase and repeating it constantly, my grandfather caused his children to remember the saying well into adulthood. If my mother and her siblings are able to easily remember the saying, they therefore also remember, consciously or not, its accompanying warning against making assumptions. The use of taboo language also helps to convey the saying’s message, possibly indicating my grandfather’s belief in the incorrect or improper nature of assuming. On the other hand, this saying could also be a way to use or explore taboo language in a more socially accepted manner (which, like my mother, I think is likely). Like many instances of folk speech, if saying something directly would get a person in trouble, they can instead use the proverb to call on collective wisdom and divert the blame. I also suspect that my grandfather in particular may have adapted the phrase into a kind of “dad humor” used to tease and bond with his kids.

Wap konn Jój

-Haitian Creole saying

-direct English translation: “You will know George.”

-Dom’s colloquial translation: “Basically means you gonna find out or you’ll know soon – origins are debated”

My friend, Dom, is from Atlanta, GA; however, both of his parents were born in Haiti. He is fluent in Haitian Creole, and quite passionate about his heritage, culture, and driving upliftment of Haiti and its inhabitants.

According to Dom, “Wap konn Joj” directly translates to “You will know George.” However, he likens it to the more commonly Black American saying, “Fuck around and find out.” Growing up, he would hear it from his parents at times when he was perhaps doing something or going down a path that would end negatively, perhaps at the hands of the speaker. In this way, it can be somewhat of a threat or warning to stop doing something before the speaker (or someone/something else) intervenes/consequences arrive.

The number of translations and informational videos about the saying and how it’s used in Haiti give me the impression that it is pretty widely known on the island and among members of the diaspora. Additionally, popular Haitian-American rapper Mach-Hommy has a 2022 album titled Wap Konn Jój, further implying my former statement. 

According to Dom and the Founder and Director of the Haitian Creole Language Institute of New York, Wynnie Lamour, origins of the phrase are debated; however, “the most common is that it’s attributed to Hurricane Georges that passed through Haiti in September 1998, causing great damage…Still, others claim that it was a popular saying warning schoolchildren to behave, or they will know Jòj, another word for the rigwaz, or whip. Most likely, it is a Biblical reference to St. George, who is known for bringing the mad back to their senses.”

Regardless of the story behind the mysterious “George,” the meaning of this saying seems to be made clear to most Haitians from an early age. 

White Watchers

Nationality: Cantonese/American

Primary Language: Cantonese

Other Language(s): English

Age: 58

Occupation: Engineer

Residence: Yorba Linda

Performance Date: 19th of November 2023

This story was recounted through email to me and takes place in their family’s apartment in Hong Kong between during the late 1960s and early 1970s. Unfortunately due to how young the informant was at the time, they do not remember a lot of details and also did not feel comfortable going into more detail than they provided. After recounting the story, they commented that they are glad they no longer see the apparitions. They still believe that we are not alone and that other beings can cross into our dimensions even though they are not supposed to.

P as a child saw apparitions in their family apartment. They were described as white shaped human figures that would float across the apartment. The figures would float aimlessly and not interact with anyone, they would simply move across the house. P described their movement as if they were flowing through the air. One night when P and their siblings were sleeping, they woke up and P saw the figures in the room watching them. P said that that was the first time they really interacted with anything or anyone in the house. From then on, the figures would make a habit of watching P and their siblings sleeping, just silently watching, staying completely still. In the day when P saw the figures, they would continue to float around like they normally did, but at night sleeping became horrifying. P recalled that they would often times be unable to fall asleep, but be too afraid to open their eyes because they could feel the figures’ presence. All P could do was tightly shut their eyes and hope the figures would leave or that they would fall asleep soon. Shortly after, P and his family would move to the United States where they would no longer see the apparitions.

P is my uncle and is known in the family for having this “3rd eye” or “true vision” and my dad, his brother, used to tell me all the time that P used to see things because of his special sense. Often time when I see P at family functions he stares off into the distance, he’s very well known for doing that. My dad thinks he does this because he’s seeing something. I always thought this was a little funny seeing him zone out, but after hearing his stories and how uncomfortable he was about talking about it, I can’t help but think it’s at least a little bit true. That being said, my family is already pretty open about superstitious belief, it’s not just my dad’s side of the family as my mother believes in ghosts too. I think being raised around the idea that ghosts are real definitely makes this story more believable to me too. Admittedly, this was the first story P recounted and he wasn’t feeling entirely open just yet, so the details of the story were heavily limited.

Familial Haunting

Text –

T – “When I was growing up, my grandfather was a pain. We lived in a house with a basement, living area, then an attic. Every time we would leave the house we would turn our lights off. Well, every time we came home the lights would be on. It was eery. Then in the middle of the night, he would pace the attic floor and turn on the TVs when we were sleeping. He didn’t do much else but he always did that. That was my experience with my grandfather… or maybe another spirit, in my childhood home.”

Context –

This story was told by T, age 32, born and raised in western Washington. She tells me about who she believes to be her grandfather who haunted her childhood home. However, she has some doubts about if it was truly her grandfather. Since growing up, T has not been to her childhood home again and is unsure if there have been any recent updates on the spirit she believes roams the attic.

Analysis –

The part of Washington we are from has notoriously old homes with a lot of history from being on native lands and tales from the old lumber age when the town was in its glory. I personally think there was some form of spirit messing with T’s family. My most likely guess is it is her Grandfather as he would have a familial connection as well as that the haunts did not start until his death.

We’d Better Go In

Nationality: American
Primary Language: English
Other language(s): n/a
Age: 78
Occupation: Retired Nurse
Residence: Bountiful, UT
Performance Date: 11/25/2023

Tags: Ghosts, Ancestors, Family, Hospital

“I remember when my dad was in the hospital, dying of bone cancer. He was simultaneously stricken with horrible Alzheimer’s, which meant he could never tell you his pain level to give any indication of the necessary dosage for his medication. Therefore, he was under perpetual surveillance. My sister, her husband, and I paid him a visit at some point in time. My husband was out of town, otherwise, he would have been there too. I remember us three sitting outside on the porch, it was an old-folks hospital so they had porches like that, positioned right in front of the entrance to my dad’s room. We were talking about the ball game we had watched the night prior and some family gossip when all of a sudden, my brother-in-law said in the calmest tone, “B. just walked in, we’d better go inside.” B. is my older brother, well, was my brother as he died a few years back. Naturally, I was shocked when my brother-in-law reported his ghost entering my dad’s hospital room. We did as he suggested and went inside to see my father in an otherwise empty room. The nursing staff arrived shortly after, just as my dad’s eyes went big – he looked startled at something on the ceiling – and just a short three minutes after we walked in, Daddy died.”

Context: This story is from CV talking about her brother-in-law, GP. CV reports GP has always been a spiritual person, frequently recounting his encounters with the dead and ghosts. Before this occurrence, CV believed that when we die, familiar people come and “pick us up.” This story, then, was a confirmation of that, as her brother, B., supposedly came and picked up her father. She claims his eyes bulged and he looked shocked just before his passing, as he could see B. standing there to collect him, but nobody else could.

Analysis: This is a sort of ancestral ghost story, reminiscent of many religious perspectives, particularly Christian, of the afterlife. Dealing with the liminal moments just before a person dies, this tale gives an optimistic take on what happens after we die. That is, we rejoin with our deceased relatives and watch over our living ones. Many elements, such as the naming of the deceased B., walking inside the hospital minutes before CV’s father’s passing, being isolated from the hospital room, and the nursing staff arriving nearly simultaneously make this story difficult to explain via coincidence. However, I am okay with that, as I’d rather accept a positive afterlife over one filled with horror and eeriness.