Tag Archives: funeral

Funeral Rituals – Thailand

Nationality: Thai
Age: 58
Occupation: Registered Nurse
Residence: Rancho Cucamonga, CA
Performance Date: April 12, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Thai

Thai Funeral Rituals

Traditionally, a Thai funeral lasts anywhere between one to seven days. It can be up to seven consecutive days to provide opportunities for relatives, family, and friends to attend and pay their respects. Thai people also believe that the soul leaves the body after three to seven days after the death, and the deceased finally realizes that they have died already. The body is placed in an open casket at the funeral dressed in nice clothes to make them look good. Usually, the person is dressed in either Thai traditional clothing or in one of their favorite outfits. This choice of clothing is to please the deceased so they will move on happily and look good when they move on and so the person will not have to return for any clothes.

Also, a bowl is placed underneath the hands of the body because there is a traditional water blessing. The water blessing is when each person attending the funeral pours a small amount of water onto the hands of the deceased. This symbolizes forgiveness and cleansing. When a person pours the water on the hands it is like asking the deceased to forgive them for any wrongs done or any disagreements between the two of them in life. It is also just to pay respect and say final good-byes.

Once the attendees have done the water blessing, they sit down. The closest family members to the deceased sits in the front row to physically symbolize the close relationship to the deceased. Then, several monks chant a prayer specific for funerals. The chanting is unanimous among the monks and sounds quite musical and soothing. The attendees sit silently listening with their hands together for prayer. The chanting of the monks is a prayer to send the soul of the deceased to a better place or to wherever the person wants to go. After the chanting, the monk with the most seniority gives a eulogy, but the eulogy does not focus on the deceased person necessarily. It focuses more on life in general. It is up to the monk what he decides to talk about, but it is usually life lessons and thoughts for life.

Then, when the monk is done talking, food is provided for the guests.  It is a way to thank the guests for attending the funeral and also a time for the people to mingle and talk about old times. There is a variety of foods such as soups, fruit, and desserts. Except no noodles. It is believed that if there are noodles people will die following each other in a line like the lines of the noodles. Other people in the family will follow the dead person.

Everyone is supposed to wear black to the funeral because of mourning. The close family members continue to wear black clothes for one hundred days following the death. After the last day of funerals, the body gets cremated. Some people are buried or other things, but usually with Buddhists, they are cremated. Then, also usually with Buddhists, the bones and ashes are thrown into a river or ocean or any body of water. The cremation and allowing the bones and ashes to float in a body of water symbolizes reverting back to nature. We came from nature, the four elements – wind, water, earth, fire – when we die we return to nature.

My mother explained these funeral traditions and beliefs that she has learned growing up in Thailand. She has attended several funerals like this in her own lifetime. Just a few years ago she flew out to Thailand to organize her father’s, my grandpa’s, funeral. There are some differences with traditional funerals in Thailand and the ones in America. For example, in Thailand the open casket with the body is usually at every day of the funeral. Whereas in America, it is usually there only the first day because it has to be given to the crematory so they can prepare for the cremation. Also, the funeral in Thailand seems to be more extravagant with more monks, more people, and more food. However, this may be because there are more relatives, friends, monks, and resources located in Thailand.

Recently my mother also had to organize a funeral for her husband, my dad. All of the traditions described were included in the funeral. The funeral lasted three days, there was a water blessing on the first day, everyone wore black, monks chanted each day, there was food each day, his body was cremated, and we will be taking a trip to Thailand this summer to throw his bones and ashes into a river that all of our deceased relatives are thrown.

Thai funeral rituals and traditions are very different compared to the Irish wakes discussed in Ilana Harlow’s piece “Practical Jokes and the Revival of the Dead in Irish Tradition.” The Irish focus more on celebrating the life of the deceased, and the funerals include dancing, drinking, and pranks. Traditional Thai funerals are more somber and focus on paying respects to the deceased. However, the guests reminisce about times past with the deceased and reunite with many people that they have not seen or contacted in an extended period of time. Although there is the sorrowful aspect of the funeral, there is also the social aspect for those in attendance.

Narvaez, Peter. Of Corpse: Death and Humor in Folklore and Popular Culture. Pg. 83-112. Logan, Utah: Utah State University Press, 2003.

Superstition – Chinese

Nationality: Taiwanese
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 17, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Mandarin, Thai, Taiwanese

After a funeral you have to go to somewhere else before you go home so the spirits don’t follow you home. I think it’s like a Chinese thing – like a superstition.

Wilson explained that he has had to stop by another location before heading home after every funeral he has ever attended with his parents. He believes that Chinese people generally believe this. His interpretation of the belief is that the purpose of the extra stop is to “throw off the spirits.” This idea can be considered more of a folk belief rather than a superstition because it is a belief that has not been scientifically proven to be true but it is not tied to magic and does not involve either looking for signs in the universe or reversing something that has been broken. His deeming it a superstition shows how closely related these terms are and how people generally use the terms superstition, belief, and magic interchangeably.

This belief reveals that regardless of the ties that the people have to the deceased, they do not want the spirit to follow them or stay with them. This goes along with the concept that people are supposed to move on in the afterlife rather than linger among and shadow the living. There is also a fear of the spirits that drives people to continue this practice. Wilson mentioned that any place will suffice. For example, his parents and he have stopped by a supermarket before, a Starbucks, and simply anything convenient at the time. In Sunnyvale, CA where he was raised, there are plenty of convenient places to visit instead of leading the spirit home with them.

Folk Ritual – Jewish

Nationality: American
Age: 91
Occupation: Retired
Residence: Boca Raton, FL
Performance Date: April 4, 2008
Primary Language: English
Language: Yiddish

Jewish Funeral Rituals:

“Immediately after the funeral of a close relative, Jewish families observe a mourning period of seven days and are said to be “sitting shivah”. Immediate family members remove their shoes, don slippers, and sit on stools or hard benches, customs derived from ancient mourning rituals. All household wall mirrors are covered with sheets. As a symbol of grief, mourners wear garments with a rip in the label and, during this shivah period, mourners remain in the house and do no work. A minyan comes to the house, morning and evening, to hold services and enable the mourners to recite a prayer for the dead called “the Kaddish”. Friends pay visits out of respect to the deceased and to honor the mourners. The first meal served to the mourners when they return from the funeral is prepared by neighbors and customarily includes hard-boiled eggs, which are said to be symbolic of the need for the mourners’ lives to go on.  The anniversary of the death of a family member is called the “yahrzeit” and is commemorated by having a memorial candle lighted in the home and another in the synagogue from sunset to sunset and by reciting the prayer for the dead (the Kaddish). Orthodox Jews fast all day at Yahrzeit.”

Irving, born and raised in New York City, learned these Jewish customs somewhat through experience of going to funerals.  “Particularly, after the Second World War, when Jewish American soldiers had ceremonies back in the states is when I picked up most of the customs.  I’m not too religious but after going to several funerals and talking to the mourners myself, I have learned these customs.  I’m not too sure where or when the funeral rituals began, but I believe that the meaning behind a seven day mourning, is to honor one’s life through an entire week, representing an entire lifetime.  Especially at an older age, I have become overly depressed by attending funerals and would rather send my prayers and regards to the family members of the deceased.”

The Jewish funeral rituals differ greatly from many cultures.  It doesn’t celebrate the dead or mourn for just one day; instead, it is a weeklong ritual to honor the deceased and their life to its entirety.  Family members sitting on hard stools might symbolize the idea of not being relaxed and comfortable, almost as if to suffer slightly just as the deceased did.  I am very baffled by the covering of the household mirrors.  The Jewish religion is not known for believing in spirits, which would be one way to look at the mirror ritual as a way to have the dead reappear.  My hypothesis is that by covering the mirrors, anyone in the household is prevented from looking at themselves, and more specifically reflecting upon themselves.  It further emphasizes the reflections, thoughts, and prayers to all be dedicated toward the deceased.  I think that idea carries over into the fact that no one in the house is supposed to work the entire week; instead, time should be focused on mourning and honoring the dead.

I particularly find it interesting that there is an annual ritual, honoring the day that the person died.  I feel it is a way for those who are alive to never forget those who passed.  The candle represents light and hope for the future, and is the only bright part of the funeral/death ritual. The overall Jewish funeral ritual is packed with symbolism, mourning, and honoring that lasts more than just a single day unlike most cultural funerals.

Ritual – Mexico

Nationality: African-American
Age: 22
Occupation: Student
Residence: Torrence, CA
Performance Date: April 28, 2008
Primary Language: English

“At traditional Mexican funerals it customary for a mariachi or banda, to come and  play at the end of the burial. A popular song that they play is Cancion Michoteca. What the song talks about is yearning for your homeland and always carrying it with you.” “

Subject’s Analysis:

It’s a popular song because it means no matter where you are you will always have Mexico. The song comes from the Michonteca Indians, a tribe in Central Mexico. I learned it in my grandmother’s neighborhood, when I was a teenager, after going to several funerals of my grandmother’s neighbors.”

Collector’s Analysis:

I think that it is always customary to have music at a funeral. Usually, people will sing to express how they feel about the deceased, and express their sorrow. However the idea here is that you shouldn’t be sorrowful for the deceased. I have heard of that idea at funerals before, but the rationale behind it was always that the deceased had moved on to a better place. The thing behind this is that the funeral party shouldn’t be sad because they will always have Mexico.