Tag Archives: Joke

The Polite Moose

Nationality: Bulgarian
Age: 39
Occupation: Guest Services Manager
Residence: Dennis, MA
Performance Date: 3/16/17
Primary Language: English
Language: Bulgarian is his primary language; English is his secondary language

“So Connor, Dave, and (insert the name of the person you’re telling the joke to; we’ll say Jack in this case) went out camping.  They went out camping, just in the woods.  They’re sitting by the bonfire and the Park Ranger stops by to, ya know, make sure Connor, Dave, and Jack are following the rules of the park.  And they talk for a little and everything is all good, but just before the Park Ranger leaves, he says, “Just a heads up, you know, nothing too bad to worry about, but like there’s a Polite Moose that lives in this forest and every now and then he might come into somebody’s camp and uhh…..  I don’t know how to say it, but ya know, like he fucks one of us.  But like, so many people here, nobody heard of Moose in long time, so like, nothing to worry about.”  So ya know, like the boys have fun, they drink a little, and then they all go to their tents, uh, for the night, and Jack was really concerned about the Polite Moose, like ya know, he’s gonna come fuck him in the middle of the night.  So they were drinking like wine or champagne earlier, so he says, ya know, I’m gonna put this champagne cork up my butt, so even if like I’m sleeping and the Moose comes and wants to fuck me, ya know, he won’t be able to penetrate me, ya know.  So the other one’s are sleeping in the middle of the night, it was very dark and quiet… All of the sudden you hear from Jack’s tent “(sound of cork being uncorked, then in a very deep voice) Good evening, Jack.”

 

Conclusion:

This joke relies heavily on the delivery, therefore it’s tough to get it fully across on paper.  During the punchline, the teller will stick his finger inside his cheek and then pull it out quickly, making a popping sound.  Then he will make his voice substantially deeper and say “Good Evening, (whoever he’s telling the joke to)”  I first heard this joke as a 16 or 17 year old while I was working my summer job.  Every summer since I was 16, I’ve done valet parking at a resort on Cape Cod in Massachusetts.  The rest of the valets and I have a fair amount of downtime during the 8 hour shift, so we just tell jokes and stories to pass the time.  This joke belongs to my boss and good friend, Rado.  Rado is originally from Sofia, Bulgaria.  He came to the US a little over 10 years ago.  It was tough to get his Bulgarian accent to translate onto the page, but listening to him tell the joke in imperfect English is hilarious.   

Church Joke

Nationality: Canadian
Age: 64
Occupation: Mom
Primary Language: English

Main Piece: Joke

 

“So this man gets up Sunday morning and is getting ready for church. He looks everywhere in his apartment for his hat but can’t find it. He decides to go to church and possibly steal one from the cloakroom.

When he gets to church, he sits through the service and afterwards as everyone is leaving, he goes up to talk to the priest.

‘Father, I was really inspired by your sermon today. I couldn’t find my hat this morning and I was prepared to steal one from the cloak room and your sermon on the 10 Commandments really helped me.’

The priest said, ‘Yes, thou shalt not steal is a very powerful commandment.’

And the man said, ‘Oh no no no, it wasn’t that one. When you got to the one about thou shall not commit adultery, I remembered where I left my hat.’”

 

Background:

 

My mother told me this joke, and she was originally afraid it was not appropriate enough but I told her anything goes. This is one of her favorite jokes she heard from growing up, as it was told to her by her great grandfather. He used to tell them jokes when they would have birthday celebrations for him, and he ended up living to be 104.

My mom likes this joke because it is one of those that you do not really know where it is going until the punchline, and she has used it many times before. My family would attend church every Sunday, so I think of it as a sort of comical approach to a more serious matter, which is important to have with every aspect of life.

 

Context:

 

The first time my mom told this joke my family and I were headed to brunch on Sunday after church as we always had when my siblings and I were kids. My parents would always ask us what we had learned that day in church, and this day was based around the ten commandments. My mom, being the jokester that she is, decided to whip out this joke in the car afterwards and it aroused a lot of laughter from my brother, sister, and I while my dad was slightly less impressed, but still chuckling.

I asked when else my mom would bring this joke out and it generally was along the lines of conversation based around church and religion, although it was more so when the environment was more loose and it wouldn’t offend anyone who was more so of a traditional religious person.

 

My Thoughts:

 

I like this joke in that when I first heard it I kept trying to figure out where it was leading from the beginning and it having to do with church and all. I also like that there is some sort of intelligence needed in the sense that if you do not know what adultery is, you probably won’t understand the comical aspect to it.

I’m also a fan of comedy that relieves some level of seriousness to certain subjects. Most people will generally think of church and religion as a fairly serious topic, and this being a play on one of the major teachings in the Christian religion definitely gives a sense of comic relief.

Golf Joke

Nationality: Canadian
Age: 64
Occupation: Mom
Primary Language: English

Folklore Piece 17:

 

Main Piece: Joke

 

My mom is a big golfer, and finds golf humor hilarious:

 

“George was just returning home from his weekly game of golf. When he stepped inside, his wife asked him how the round went.

‘It wasn’t great today,’ George said, ‘On the first tee, Frank dropped dead from a heart attack.’

‘OH MY GOD!’ cried his wife, ‘That’s horrible!’

George replied, ‘Yeah, you’re telling me! The rest of the round it was; hit, Drag Frank, hit, Drag Frank…”

 

Background:

 

My mom Laurie loves to golf, and she actually has a group of friends she goes and plays a round with once a week. They are a more so laid back group of golfers and do it for the fun of the game, and never really stress over the score, they just go out to have fun with friends. Golfing is like this in my family as well, because we are all about the same skill level, but it doesn’t get to be fun anymore once there is competition.

My mom’s friend told her this joke when they were out golfing one day, and my mom still uses it to this day when we get out to golf. Because golf is such a big part in my mom’s life, she tends to find humor in those things that not most people would necessarily get.

 

Context:

 

Like I had said earlier, my mom’s friend told her this joke when they were out golfing one very hot day when they were out golfing, and they decided to play at a course that does not allow golf carts, so they had to walk the round. Walking the round is much more tiring compared to using carts, and after the first hole my mom’s friend tells her this joke as a kind of way to say “Hey, things could be worse.”

My mom has only used this joke once or twice with me while we were golfing, and that is generally the only context it would come up in, as it doesn’t really apply to any other situations.

 

My thoughts:

 

I had heard this joke before my mom retold it to me, and the only times were on the golf course as I said. I remember it being pretty funny the first time because we were all laughing at how sweaty and out of shape we were on the course. She used it a while later the next time we golfed and it just wasn’t that funny this time so it is more of a joke you use once.

I enjoy golfing so I like this joke as long as it’s not over used. I think it is rather crude, but I like sports jokes that you need an understanding of the game to understand.

Watermelon Tai Chi

Nationality: Chinese
Age: 55
Occupation: Funeral Counselor
Residence: Arcadia, CA
Performance Date: March 12, 2017
Primary Language: Chinese
Language: English

Daniel is an immigrant from Hong Kong who immigrated to the United States in search of better opportunities and a better life for both him and his family. Living in a poor family with seven other siblings, he immediately went to work as a police officer after receiving his high school diploma in Hong Kong. Once he moved to Los Angeles, he worked as a computer technician, and subsequently, changed his career to a funeral counselor.

Original Script

I don’t know whether it’s true or a joke—I believe it’s a joke. For a tai chi master, he had a hard time to teach his disciple how to do the beginning steps of a sort of tai chi kung fu. Right now, I will illustrate in English:

“One big watermelon. I cut it into two halves. This half I give to you, you don’t want it, I take it back. And the other half I give to you, you don’t want it too, I take it back.”

And those are the steps of the beginning.

Background Information about the Performance from the Informant

The informant heard about this tale from his friends during passing period in high school. His friends were taking tai chi at the time and demonstrated the moves of the watermelon tai chi to him. He believes the story is a joke, rather than the truth, because both the moves and the chant are humorous.

Context of the Performance

I interviewed the informant at his house.

Tai chi is an internal form of Chinese martial arts used for its health benefits and defense training. Several styles of tai chi have developed over time; the five most common ones today are the Chen, Sun, Woo, Wu, and Yang styles. There are a few who believe that the watermelon tai chi was created because both tai chi and watermelons promote similar properties, such as improved blood circulation.

My Thoughts about the Performance

I first learned of this watermelon tai chi in my high school Chinese class. The teacher taught our class the moves and the chant; however, she did not mention that this form of tai chi was a joke, like the informant. When I performed the watermelon tai chi alongside the informant, I found the movements quite calming, but saying the chant in Cantonese was very amusing.

The Coffin

Nationality: Syrian
Age: 52
Residence: Los Angeles, CA
Performance Date: April 11, 2017
Primary Language: Arabic
Language: English

A man asked Juha: “What do you think is better, to walk behind a coffin, or in front of a coffin during a funeral?”

Juha replied: “Be wherever you want, except inside that coffin.”

Background information: This is a popular joke heard throughout the Middle East, starring a recurring character, Juha.

Context: The informant told me this joke in a conversation about folklore.

Thoughts: This is quite humorous, a bit of dark humor. It deals with funerals, but makes a joke out of it, saying the worst place to be at during these events is inside a coffin (because that obviously means you’re dead!).