Tag Archives: saying

That Gives Me the Ick

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. She very much enjoys writing as well as consuming literature.

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me, and when we got to folk speech, I asked her to break down what the “ick” was, a now popular saying especially amongst users of TikTok and other social media for members of Gen Z. 

TEXT: 

A: “I would say in the context of when I’ve heard it used, it’s always been the lifting of the rose tinted glasses, whether that’s like permanently or just for a moment, in that moment when you’re like, if you really like someone and they do something that makes them seem super real. Maybe too real. Like if a guy runs with his backpack and it’s bouncing up and down, like I’ve heard that described as an ick because it’s just too real and doesn’t fit within your perception of them.”

Me: “How do you use it?”

A: “Just when people do things that turn me off; not sexually but it’s when something’s really off-putting in terms of someone’s behavior and it’s off putting it away that might alter my perception of them for the worse. I think we’re all prone to like seeing people differently from how they are when they’re forced or for the better, but more in the sense of, ‘Oh, okay, maybe I don’t like you as much as I initially did before having this knowledge.’”

Me: “Could you name some examples of what would give you the ick?”

A: “Obviously, they’re different for every person. But if anyone who can’t appreciate literature, or if I send them a poem [on Instagram], and they like the poem and they won’t say anything else. Now, I can’t romanticize you in my head as someone who appreciates literature, so that’s and ick. Or if someone types in a very specific way or uses certain emojis, it’s just like, ‘Ew, just stop.’ So that would be an ick. I would also say that I feel like these days, it’s very obvious that people often confuse icks with basic standards. Where it’s like, ‘Oh, I got the ick because he’s talking to another girl.’ It’s like, no, he’s just not a good person and you shouldn’t be with him if he’s talking to you and another girl at the same time. Or, ‘I get an ick when he cheats on me.’ It’s like no, that’s not what it is.” Those are deal breakers. Icks are just [more minor] things that change your perception of a person for the worse.

ANALYSIS: 

The ick is a rather new term, and in a contemporary sense, it tends to be used in regards to relationships—if someone behaves in a manner that doesn’t advocate for them as someone to date, then that would be an ick. However, it’s also begun to be used in a manner less related to relationships, as indicated by A’s commentary. The ick can refer to normal friendships versus the pursuit of relationships, and it is seeing more common use, especially by young people. Especially in an age of the digitization of dating and the more speedy nature of it, along with hookup culture, the presence of a quick way to stop the romanticization of a person in one’s mind is symptomatic of a culture that is rooted in the idea of a soulmate, but doesn’t behave as such. The ick, romantically, seems to function as a threshold of sorts, or an invisible standard — that to find the “perfect” person or one’s soulmate, they can’t gross one out like an ick would.

你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao): You are My Small Cotton-Padded Jacket

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. Her parents immigrated from China, and she was born in Cincinnati, Ohio and spent her early years as a child in Chicago before moving to San Diego. 

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me. She chose to share a short affectionate metaphor.

TEXT: 

A: “I think something that’s a little bit more recent is 你是我的小棉袄 (Ni Shi Wo De Xiao Mian Ao), or in English, ‘You’re like my winter coat’ basically. And it’s usually used when a kid is being a really good child or a really good son or a daughter to their parents. People will be like, ‘Oh,你是你的爸爸的小棉袄’ or ’You’re your dad’s warm winter coat,’ or the same thing for my mom. And it’s one of those phrases that I just remember hearing all the time growing up

Me: “Was it because you were a well-behaved child?”

A: “My parents just really liked me. It was interesting, actually. Because for my dad, it was like he started using it a lot more recently while my mom has always just used it. I think she first said it to me when I was like, maybe like, five or six. And she said it and then she explained the origin of the meaning and then I just remember her always just saying that sometimes. But I think now that I’m about to leave home, they say it more than ever, which is interesting. 

Me: “How do you feel about that saying? What does it mean for you?”

A: “I feel like in every Asian family every compliment or every reference to being a good son or daughter is always like, intrinsically tied to your achievements. You know, if you’re winning competitions, if you’re getting a 4.0. And I feel like this was one of the compliments that are less in reference to stuff like that. And it was more just about how I was as a daughter emotionally rather than I guess in terms of concrete accomplishments. So it’s one of the compliments that means more in that sense.”

ANALYSIS：

I was unfamiliar with this saying, but it’s also one that comes up more recently, with the invention of cotton-padded jackets. I agree – it’s not often that Chinese families are affectionate, especially as one gets older, and sayings like this are important and make us feel warm like our own cotton-padded jackets. In a sense, this seems comparable to the parent still saying that their child is theirs and that their child metaphorically keeps them warm, and brings light into their lives. Especially because Asian immigrant parents are traditionally (and, stereotypically) more focused on their children’s accomplishments, this saying serves as a contrast to that tradition. Furthermore, it’s interesting that this is a saying more commonly said during childhood, pre-adolescence, before the children begin to (often at their parents’ command) explore artistic and academic skills. As the children get older, there is a higher and higher expectation for them to actually do something, especially as the children of the parents’ friends and relatives begin to get their own accomplishments. In turn, the desire for the children to work and accomplish mutes the affection that was there before. Still, this saying is representative of the love parents have for their child despite a transition into stricter parenting.

That’s So Camp

Nationality: USA
Occupation: Student
Performance Date: Feb. 22, 2023
Primary Language: English
Language: Chinese

CONTEXT:

A is one of my best friends. She is a senior in high school from my hometown. She enjoys writing poetry as well as knitting.

The context of this piece was during a facetime call in which I asked her to share some pieces of folklore with me, and she referred to this collection as “camp.” I asked her to elaborate on the phrase for the collection and to explain its meaning. 

TEXT:

Me: “Where would you say you got ‘camp’ from?”

A: “I like it a little bit when people don’t initially understand what the hell I’m talking about. And that was one of the phrases where if I said it, people would just be like, ‘What the hell does that even mean?’ I just like things that are very subjective to interpretation. And ‘that’s so camp,’ depending on how I say it, is just something that can be very subjective and it can be an insult or a compliment or just an observation. I’m pretty sure it was after an award ceremony, maybe the Met Gala and the theme was ‘camp.’ That was years ago and I remember being like, ‘That is such a good definition,’ I need to start using that and now I think it’s a staple of my vocabulary.”

Me: “What does it mean to you?”

A: “I feel like it’s very hard to describe verbally. I would say camp is when you can tell someone is trying to do something where there’s a very large amount of effort present, and the execution is more questionable. So like, sometimes outfits are camp in that sometimes they’re good because they’re camp and sometimes they’re bad because they’re camp and it’s just about how you sort of pull it off.”

ANALYSIS:

I also use this term — “camp” tends to refer to things that are a little weird or off-putting, but not always necessarily in a bad way. For example, things that are eccentric are camp. Anything that is camp also tends to be somewhat amusing. They can be artificial or self-consciously ironic. In a sense, it refers to things that are so bad they are good because of the intention. Today, there almost seems to be a revitalization of the appreciation for things that aren’t perfect, and even more so, things that are intentionally imperfect. Irony, especially amongst the younger generation, has taken hold as a point of appreciation. There seems to also be a lack of desire for people to point out that one thing is absolutely cool or uncool, and “camp” is a way to fit in between that. With such a loose definition, it’s easier to judge ambiguously, which can serve a good purpose at a time when our statements are much more highly scrutinized.

Green Frog

Nationality: American
Age: 18
Occupation: USC Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 2/21/23
Primary Language: English
Language: Korean

Text:

Original script: 청개구리

Roman script: chung-geh-goo-ri

Transliteration: Green frog

Full translation (according to performer): Expressing your frustration by calling someone a contrarian

Context:

This saying is inspired by a Korean folktale that explains why frogs croak when it rains. A disobedient frog regrets how burdensome he was when his mother dies. To finally follow her wishes, he buries her near the riverside and cries out for her in fears that she’ll be swept away. In a less tragic light, CL says that her mother often recites this to her when she “didn’t do what she asked for certain things.” An example CL provides is when she pulled an all nighter instead of sleeping, even though her mother advised her to rest. As usual, her mother was proven correct when CL “complained about feeling like I did bad on the test the next day.” Thus, CL’s mother said “청개구리” to express her frustration.

Analysis:

Minor genres can act as forms of discipline or advice. By taking from culturally significant knowledge, the dite holds extra weight than if it were a stand alone saying. Almost like an “I told you so,” certain sayings can reflect broader knowledge that exists outside intimate relationships. A mother’s advice appears much grander when it is connected to a cultural tale or traditional story–the saying exceeds her and carries the weight of the “wisdom of the masses.” The saying universalizes personal experiences, thus considering disobedience an expected aspect of child development. Folklore doesn’t necessarily illustrate how to live life–it can also be used to discourage behavior and tell a cautionary tale. Thus, this saying is applicable to a multitude of situations: its moral and disciplinary motive can be used for various situations of disobedience or hypocrisy. Furthermore, it reinstates the mother-child dynamic and confirms the mother’s superior level of experience and life knowledge. However, the tale that inspires this imposes restrictions as to who can be the performer and who can be the audience: it can only be told from a mother to a child, not vice versa. Otherwise, the moral implications would fall short. Motherhood is prevalent in various forms of folklore–symbols, characters, and metaphors immortalize the mother-child bond. Even when their relationship appears ruptured, mother and child are eternally united through folklore.

I hit my head on a piece of cornbread

Nationality: Black
Age: 19
Occupation: Student
Residence: Los Angeles
Performance Date: 16 February 2023
Primary Language: English

Context: CR is a black student at USC, currently a sophomore. They and their family are originally from Houston. The informant told me about their experience after class while we were discussing the pieces of folklore we’d picked up during our lives. The saying they talked about would normally be performed by their father whenever they and their siblings hit their heads.

Text: “Okay so like growing up my… like me and my siblings would always like hit our heads like maybe on the top of our bunk beds or the roof of a car or something, and my dad would always say like “Oh no! Like I hit my head on a piece of cornbread!” And then we would just laugh instead of cry. And it was just a way that he would get us to be playful and laugh instead of focus on our pain. And he would always model it for us too. Yeah, just “I hit my head on a piece of cornbread.” There’s very much a rhythmic element to it and a rhyme, like if you say it the wrong way, it won’t be right.

“I hit my head on a piece of cornbread.”


Thoughts/Analysis: I’ve never heard of “I hit my head on a piece of cornbread,” but I’ve encountered similar sayings across my life. It makes me think of the Spanish saying sana sana, colita de rana which is also used to pacify kids after they get hurt. Soothing children after injury seems to unite a lot of childhood sayings. After all, the experience is universal. In this specific instance, though, part of the comforting nature of the saying seems to lie in its humor: the imagery of hitting one’s head on a piece of cornbread—something soft and spongy—versus whatever one hits their head on, seems to create dissonance and a disconnect from their current reality of pain.